The People's Cube - Political Satire

Dear Comrades, Party Elitist and common proles!

I am filled with over joyous joy! As of today, I have made my "carbon footprint" almost extinguished! Upon considering dear Leaders new cap and trade mandate, now known as The American Power Act (how sly of him to change the name and fool all the reichwingers, is it not?!) I was encouraged to do my proud progressive part in ending all this earth's fever warming (bless our beloved Gore).

As you know, it is our sworn duty for all of us to "volunteer" to make our big carbon footprints, much smaller. I have worked most diligently to reduce my carbs to a much more manageable size, as you can clearly see:





Please, do not think I am being full of braggadociosness. Oh parish thoughts! I am merely encouraging our glorious Collective, to reduce your carbonated foot prints and thus, please dear Leader.

There are many ways to do this:
1. Foot reduction, which may or maynot be covered by ObamaCare. If it isn't, I'm sure there will be Redistributed monies floating around from TARP or GARP and FART, whatever...

2. The Chinese Torture Diet which is a little time consuming but requires little effort on your part. (simply sitting in the corner for 6 months is usually sufficient. If not, there is always the Duct Tape Addition technique)

3. Or you can, like myselve, purchase (with redistributed Obamo monies), Carbon Foot Print Exchanges! I simply turned over all my future money income (praise Obama for redistributives!) to our glorious Al Gore-athone Representative. In "exchange" (this is where it gets its name), you are given a small Footyprint to help save the world.

Is it not glorious?!

Fraulein, how good of you to be doing such a thing as this as it not to be of any such small feat. Your tiny feet printings look to me like Chinese lady small feet before the glorious Red Army of Mao took to streets to rid the world of small feetedness. Now Algore has been to bringing back such fashion and you are at fore of such fashionability.

I just to say I am of happiness that it is YOU to be of fashion platededness and not of me as I am full of knowing what to happen when I become such fashion person. I am not to be of making such mistake ever again.

aaak! It appears I havae chicken feet and leg of dead chicken!! NO more vodka for me!

Oh yes, the glorious reign of Comrade Mao. Who could be of forgetedness? What a shame Oba-mao (I make wee joke!) is not able to bow to Mao . . now.
By the wayside, is Mao Zedong pronounced 'Say Dung' or 'Say Dong' (like in long? Chineses language is good for eating by not so much for saying. And they have most odd names. Dung? Dong? I mean, really?)

Why not solve the problem entirely and cut off your feet? This will help the medical supply industry boost its productivity and allow more supplies to flow into hospitals, thereby eliminating wait-times, if there ever were under our new glorious system.

A very ponderous idea, Commissar Elliott. We know doctors are always desirous to amputate bodily part, in their greedy lust for money, as dear Leader told us. Think of all the crutches we could make in the gulag to assist ObamaCare of course . . . . . . and NOT FOR GREEDY KAPITALIST GAINS. How dare you insinuate of such?! I would not even consider such greedy lucre! DOWN WITH KAPITALISM!
Oh, but, umm, I digress....

A friend who lived in China says Chairman Mao's full name is pronounced "Mousey Dung"

Really? humm, well, I smell a rat!

I to be of smelling something else!

Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:I to be of smelling something else!

Holy smokes! I knew Disney was an evil corporation, but it saddens me our Chinese Leader would partake of suck evil. Down with Disney!

There is only one Comrade here who has not made one single carbon footprint in the last 53 years, and we should all take note and emulate his exemplary behavior.

Ahem... Laika is a she. Unless she has undergone a sex-change operation while in space and become a male oppressor, which is unlikely. Are there animal clinics that perform sex-change operations on pets? There has to be at least one in Beverly Hills.

Oops, sorry, Comrade Red Square. I was confusing her with a certain Comrade here who has confiscated her avatar.

As for sex change operations on pets, I would think it's quite common. As a child, I had a cat who came home from the vet minus two certain pieces of his anatomy. Funny, it didn't raise his voice a bit.

Leninka - it must be an urban myth, that all cats can only meow in high voices. Perhaps if all male cats weren't neutered, some of them may have developed pleasant singing baritones, crooning ballads of their youth to the aging owners.

Unfortunately, everybody seems to err on the side of testicle removal, so we'll never know.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:A friend who lived in China says Chairman Mao's full name is pronounced "Mousey Dung"

Which reminds me, where's Comrade General Mousey-Tongue? Perhaps he could shed some light on the question of non-neutered male cats developing baritone voices.

Frau

I am so moved by your attempts, I am now willing to have my feet removed to reduce my carbon footprint

Neo, what a loyal comrade you are! But I would first encourage your attempts to make wee footprints, as it is less time consuming and enable mobilities other than wheels are, Gore forbid, gas engines!
I have heard kitty's howling screaming singing in the night and these young males had all their gentiles genesis gentils 'goodies' in place and take my word, they are not very well inclined singers.

Frau,

very true!

Perhaps, through the glories of PapaObama care, I could have my feet made removable and reusable. Then at the proper times, I could just remove my feet when necessary to best reduce my carbon footprint