The People's Cube - Political Satire

Regarding the ongoing rape of GAIA by BP in the Gulf Coast, there is Great News that makes me tingle with anticipation--

The Washington Post is reporting that Our Leader, President Obama, has recruited James Cameron to plug the hole in GAIA:






Needless to say, I must confess that I'll hardly notice the difference since Jim and Al are practically joined at the hip when it comes to making the Earth move for GAIA-- it's quite a ménage à trois. As they say in journalism, "more to come."

I'm just been informed by high party officials that when Hillary Clinton was confronted with the news that Al Gore and Tipper are divorcing, she said, "I just want to say this one more time: 'I did not have sex with that man, Al Gore.'" Of course, that was just a repeat of her prior denial to Glore about her not having had sex with "that man" (Bubba), who had famously given similar assurances to Monica Lewinsky when, while pretending to be speaking to the public to profess his innocence, he said to her, "I did not have sex with that woman [Hillary], Miss Lewinsky." Of course, we all know what he really meant, because all good progressives know he was innocent of any misconduct towards Miss Lewinsky:





--GAIA Minister Neytiri

Comrade,We will be saved!

Perhaps it is time to call in Bono and Sting?

Never before have so many with so little to offer, given so much

I am far beyond comprehension at dear Leaders thoughtful brilliance in contacting a movie star director for answer on plugginghis the hole! Who else could come up with such an unbelievable plan?! Who else but Cameron would have the experience in making believe phony fake authentic plans as to how to plug holes?! If BPers had any such illustrious brilliance thoughtfulness as dear Leader, they would have done this from day #1, would they not?

I am awe... no, in shock and awed at such plans!! There simple, are no words to convey . . . err ahhh, umm . . . see, NO words!!

Billy did not have sex with Algore? No. No one would be that. As the beloved late Mr. P always say, "Bill Clinton would have sex with anything that doesn't move and then some". no wait, is that I meant to say? Of course there was no sex with Algore Al Gored!! FORGET WHAT PREVIOUSLY SAID, that was not what was thought to be said... (Mr. FEMA man, no that was not what I was saying. Really!!!)


gosh, was that my phone? Be right back!

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It seems his first idea is already in the testing phase.

Fellow travelers - we have been summoned by Comrade Cameron to do our part to aid Dear Leader in his time of need. This is for GAIA!!

This appears to be most smart, Gulag4 (don't you love our gulag, especially the fresh foods?
I am of such hopfullness that Oily Man will be able to soak up much of this nasty oil. Maybe these glorious birds will fly off, even more?!

I to hear James has even to write new song for plugging up leak

(song to tune "My Heart Will Go On')

Every day on the news
It's oil, spilled oil
And it keeps spilling out of the hole

Deep below the dark Gulf
The leak is getting worse
The oil keeps gushing on and on

No fear, Obama is here
He believes that James can plug the leak
Since he won the award
For Titanic and all
And he did have a big hit with Jaws

Obama loves movies
Reality sucks big time
And he can't play golf in the rain

Cameron is the man
Obama says that he can
Plug up the hole and stop the leak

Near, far, Obama's the star
We believe that Obama goes on
For sure he'll inspire some more
And he's here in our hearts
And our hearts know he'll get that hole plugged

No fear, Obama is here
And we keep on chanting ‘Yes We Can!'
Barry is all that we need
He is safe in our hearts
And our hearts sing of Hope and Change!

Dearest Comradess Mrs. Al, I am so overcome with tears . . . "Obama is here". What more do we need? I am so very choked up. . . . I can hardly make utterance . . .
(hack! hack!! awhhhghhh! *%$#! chicken bones!)

Yes, Frau, I am of understanding of what you are meaning. I have been of listening to underwives 52, 7, 14, and 48 singing such tune all the day and I also have been of having to be of holding back what has been of trying to rise from throat.

Shovel 4 U wrote:Fellow travelers - we have been summoned by Comrade Cameron to do our part to aid Dear Leader in his time of need. This is for GAIA!!

Dear Shovel 4 U,

I've known all along that Cameron has expertise in hard science. If only he could grow a tail (but his critics unfairly claim he's grown an ass.) I remember he took many of thse wonderful Na'vi Blue Pills in Copenhagen. Only high party officials know that the real "mineral" being sought on Pandora was an essential ingredient for the Na'vi Blue Pills, which has the amazing ability to stretch DNA. It enables experts in such hard sciences to make the Earth move for GAIA.

--GAIA Minister Neytiri

Gulag 4 Alfred wrote:


It seems his first idea is already in the testing phase.

Comrade Gulag 4 Alfred,

Your are correct that the essential first step for properly plugging (away at) a hole in GAIA is good lubrication.

Isn't that what the loyal government employees were doing at the federal Minerals Management Service (MMS) before the explosion interrupted the drilling?

Even though they were engaged in politically heretical activity (drill, baby, drill), they were nevertheless loyal government employees-- Indeed, I'm confident they must have been members of SEIU.


I hate to criticize decisions by top party officials, but it doesn't seem fair that Elizabeth Birnbaum was forced to resign from the position of Heading the loyal MMS employees who were involved on an almost 24/7 basis in boning up on the hard science.
Not for me to question why. I'm sure the true explaination is above my clearance level.


--GAIA Minister Neytiri

Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:I to hear James has even to write new song for plugging up leak

(song to tune "My Heart Will Go On')

***
Cameron is the man
Obama says that he can
Plug up the hole
*** keep on chanting ‘Yes ...'

Your lyrics are wonderful, and you captured the essence of what I will be chanting while Cameron is plugging the hole: "Yes! YES! YES!"

--GAIA Minister Neytiri

Neotrotsky wrote:Comrade,We will be saved!

Perhaps it is time to call in Bono and Sting?

Never before have so many with so little to offer, given so much

Fear not-- If necessary, Cameron can call-in the real experts on Earth Science to begin healing Mother Earth from the ravages of capitalist exploitation of her lubricants:





--GAIA Minister Neytiri

Mrs Al Czarweary -

Please do post your tune in People's Karaoke as well!

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Dearest Comradess Mrs. Al, I am so overcome with tears . . . "Obama is here". What more do we need? I am so very choked up. . . . I can hardly make utterance . . .
(hack! hack!! awhhhghhh! *%$#! chicken bones!)

You will make it through this disaster just fine as long as you continue exhibiting your Faith by so lovingly clutching the Cube. Do you have the latest model, which has an amazing ability to vibrate? It's almost as good for the sturdy Progressive Babes as are the benefits of consorting with consumers of Na'vi Blue Pills, I've been told.


--GAIA Minister Neytiri.

OH MY, I MUST AVERT MY EYES! Those are naked protesters showing their nunu and weewees! (I looked twice... 3 times, to verify of such). oh my....

Great news! The "Blue Pill" testing facility has already opened!

Dear me. Surely I'm not the only one who's familiar with a lesser known Cameron opus circa 1989 called The Abyss. Possible spoilers henceforth, so don't come crying to me if you haven't seen the movie but insist on reading further because I am, after all, Pinkie.

The film concerns an innovative underwater oil rig whose employees are shanghaied by their evil corporate overlords into helping some Navy SEALs in the rescue/recovery of a nuclear submarine that had a run in with Non-Terrestrial Intelligence, or NTI's (Cameron's term), causing it to sink and perch precariously on the edge of “The Abyss”—a very deep Marianas-like trench conveniently located near Communist Cuba.

The gung-ho military guys instantly assume the NTI's are “Soviet bogeys” and report thus to their commander via a video feed between the underwater oil rig and mother ship up on the sea's surface.

Whereupon, in one of the most flagrant violations of military COMSEC I have ever witnessed even in a Hollywood production, the commander not only orders the SEALs to implement Plan B, but assuming they've never even heard of it (because it is, after all, Top Secret), he proceeds to explain to them in excruciating classified detail—you know, in case the Soviet bogeys are interested and thus monitoring the non-secure video hookup—what Plan B entails: They are to go back to the submarine, extract a nuclear warhead, bring it back to the rig and await further orders (presumably to use it to destroy the submarine before those evil Commies get it).

The oil rig workers act like Code Pink once they realize there's a nuke in their midst, and they accuse the SEALs of wanting to nuke them or the NTI's or somebody. Good intentions ensue, paving the road to the usual destination (think of the famous scene in It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World when they were all on the fire escape, and the suitcase fell open): The nuke, strapped to a submersible with timer set to detonate a few hours hence, inadvertently descends into The Abyss. Forget the SEALs—only a liberal union worker can go after it in hopes of disarming it, thereby saving the world and its undeserving human inhabitants.

The NTI's are, in fact, supernatural beings who control the water and even the weather (which would seem to contradict AGW, skeptics of which James Cameron is on record stating should be taken out and shot), and like Islam, they are all about peace and lollipops and getting along with each other.

The director's cut of this movie has the additional footage that really piles on the anti-nuclear message that isn't so obvious in the theatrical version, which is just a nice little adventure story about dumb earthlings being shown the stupidity of their ways by aliens who always seem to have the greater power when it comes to mass annihilation.

Why does the Left always think it's a good thing when the aliens have more destructive capability than we do? And why is it okay for them to threaten to use it if we don't do as they tell us?

Notwithstanding, the movie is entertaining and definitely worth seeing. I'd give it three out of four beets, or two shovels up, one to whack each side of Cameron's head.

But perhaps BP—or more likely the Obama Administration—is hoping James Cameron will be able to use his underwater know-how to contact the NTI's and enlist their aid in plugging the hole. This could also be a great way to bank extra votes from a fortuitous if unlikely source.

Glorious Pinkie, you are of such correctness on this factual comment. I do remember The Abyss and it is of no wonderments, that dear Leader has chosen said director who was, cough cough, the writer - and a writer from personal experience, we must ask! Who could know more than Abyassman?! Such brain power is beyond brainy . . . it is Papa Bama to the rescue.

"plug that hole"!

After "plugging his the hole" , they could make a movie about it. Showing Papa Obama as the Brave Hero of course- showing us the way

Shovel 4 U wrote:Great news! The "Blue Pill" testing facility has already opened!

But only Teh One may distribute those special pills.

Thank you, Pinkie! That was enlightening. But what you don't know, is that before asking James Cameron to fix the oil leak, Obama first contacted Captain Nemo...

Did any of you thought criminals ever consider that Obama has just done Hugo Chavez one better by supplying the residents of the Gulf Coast all the free oil they'll ever need? No I dare say you haven't.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Did any of you thought criminals ever consider that Obama has just done Hugo Chavez one better by supplying the residents of the Gulf Coast all the free oil they'll ever need? No I dare say you haven't.

I DENOUNCE MYSELF FOR NOT GETTING THAT ONE, LOYAL COMRADE!! (and worse yet, out done by a man. gads) Papa Bama is so thoughtful and caring of the collective. We can even ring it out of all those dead birds! Oh joyous joy!

Paul McCartney...Isn't he the least talented member of the Monkees?
--Greg Gutfeld

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Paul McCartney...Isn't he the least talented member of the Monkees?
--Greg Gutfeld

Yes, and he wasn't even a musician, he was an actor pretending to be a musician.

Let's look at dear Paul's educational history from Wikipedia: "McCartney later took his A-level exams, but passed only one subject—Art."

Please comrades, do not miss the point. Simply uttering the word "library" creates the impression with progressives (or those leaning progressive) that we are intelligent. Words have power. Words are reality. Paul is a master wordsmith. Speaking "library" at a strategic moment in a Collective is superior to a PhD in Astrophysics.

This may sound like something written by a People's Cube commissar, but it's a real article by Ted Rall on Yahoo News:

Ted Rall wrote:Why hasn't President Obama acted like one--a president, that is? Why hasn't he seized BP's assets? Obama's torturers at Gitmo and Bagram are winding up 15-year-old Taliban teenagers and taxi drivers. Why aren't BP's execs learning the finer points of electrodes and nipple clamps?

Why hasn't Obama seized BP's assets!!??!!?? INQUIRING MINDS NEED TO KNOW!!!

It appears that the Current Truth is this: Torture is only immoral if used to extract useful information from al-Qaeda operatives. But it's perfectly justifiable and even welcome if used altruistically, for no reason other than the sadistic gratification of flaming progressives.

Stolen from Glennbeckclips.com

Best way to plug that hole!

I thought Paul "the Monkee" was deceased?

Glorious idea. What better usefulness for the White House.

On 6/2/2010, at 2:41 pm, Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Dear me. Surely I'm not the only one who's familiar with a lesser known Cameron opus circa 1989 called The Abyss. ...

[skip 10 paragraphs of Pinkie's most equal movie review]

... I'd give it three out of four beets, or two shovels up, one to whack each side of Cameron's head.

Michael Ramirez must have read Pinkie's review and responded with this cartoon on 6/6/2010

Red Square wrote:

On 6/2/2010, at 2:41 pm, Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Dear me. Surely I'm not the only one who's familiar with a lesser known Cameron opus circa 1989 called The Abyss. ...

[skip 10 paragraphs of Pinkie's most equal movie review]

... I'd give it three out of four beets, or two shovels up, one to whack each side of Cameron's head.

Michael Ramirez must have read Pinkie's review and responded with this cartoon on 6/6/2010

Obama_Ramirez_Abyss.jpg

I'm sure Pinkie mentioned The Abyss because she knows (as do all Scientifically Enlightened Members of the Collective) that the Electrical-Energy Beings (in The Abyss) willing to show humans the way to enlightened harmony with Nature are ancestral water-world evolutionary ancestors of our advanced, terrestrial race (the Na'vi), whom Cameron now rightly touts as the new Saviors of Earth.


--GAIA Minister Neytiri (TTE)
P.S. to Red Square-- Am hereby taking short break during assignment requiring editing of English translation of obscure Russian documents dumped into lap by offspring. Need mental break. Not forgetting other big assignment.