The People's Cube - Political Satire

Kevin Jennings, Safe Schools Czar

Turn ons: Pedophilia, Daycare centers, NAMBLA
Turn offs: Heterosexual adult relationships, America
Looking For: “Someone with kids”


John Holdren, Science Czar

Turn ons: Eugenics, social engineering
Turn offs: Man made energy, oil, technology, mankind, civilization, America
Looking For: “A hippie chick, preferably driving an Escalade”


Cass Sunstein, Regulatory Czar

Turn ons: Wildlife, population reduction, forced abortion
Turn offs: Hunting, fishing, mankind's existence, America
Looking For: “No one, I want to reduce the population”


Rahm Emanuel: White House Chief of Staff

Turn ons: “Anything that can up my status”
Turn offs: “Anything that can bring my status down,” and America.
Looking For: “My soul”


Barack Hussein Obama, U.S. President

Turn ons: Socialism, Marxism, Islam, community organizing, hating America
Turn offs: Criticism, scrutiny, evaluation, a true free press, America, Israel.
Looking For: “The ghost of Karl Marx, so I can hug him”

Congressional Add-On

Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives

Turn ons: Who is asking please?
Turn offs: Who is asking please?
Looking For: Power, Votes, Supporters, An Audience

A White House Dating Aid

A half-dozen of these 'brewskies.

These are all lovely progs. I just don't know why they have no found anyone? What is not to love. (a girl can get all sweaty just reading their bios. I AM SPEAKING IN THE VERNACULAR.. or whatever. I AM NOT SPEAKING THAT I, THE FRAU, AM SWEATING!! DO NOT BELIEVE THE LIES YOU HEAR!!)

Turn Ons: Black Panthers, Social Justice, Miranda Rights/US Trials for Man Made Disasters
Turn Offs: US Constitution, Equal Justice, States Who Write Their Own Immigration Laws, America
Looking For: Someone to pardon

Comrades,

Thank you for the Nancy Pelosi addition. I got so excited I almost thought I was going to have to transgress sexual boundaries for a moment there!