The People's Cube - Political Satire

Reuters Rooter

Tomorrow, President Obama will fire General Stanley McChrystal and replace him with a hand picked seasoned team of war veterans to oversee the war in Afghanistan.

Senior aides closest to the President have indicated that this team will include General Mills, Captain Kangeroo, Sergeant O'Rourke and Corporal Agarn.

Dismissing critics, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs stated that "Golly gee whiz, if Agarn alone could tame the Hekawis with Chief Wild Eagle and Crazy Cat, the Tally Band are doomed to destruction. We are going to brevet Cpl. Agarn to Lieutenant General on that basis alone."

When asked if he'd accept the assignment, Corporal Agarn was skeptical of all the team's participation. "I don't know, I'll have to run this past Sarge, I haven't spoken to him about this yet. I hear the Tally Band don't drink like the Hekawis, so it might cut into our profits at the saloon."

Former President Clinton weighed in on the crisis and asked if anybody had Wrangler Jane's phone number.

The White House has yet to be informed that General Mills makes cereal and Captain Kangeroo has been dead for quite some time and he really wasn't a "captain" but just the star of a children's TV show when Obama was growing up in Indonesia.

This is terrible news comrades. What if this disloyal General decides to run for President in 2012? What if he leads a military coup with the help of the angry Tea Baggers? What will become of our revolution? Someone give me a hug, I'm scared!

Look, they're already agitating for a take over...

McChrystal?

Never heard of him.

He can't resign!
I won't let him until I'm sure the war is ummm....will somebody scroll the teleprompter twins, Terry and Terry?.....until the war is...ummm....one...one with the universe as a hole that needs plugged. I'm working day and night on this issue and my daughters ask me every morning if daddy plugged the hole. I was happy to tell them this morning I plugged the hole and shot a birdie on the back nine, not a real birdie, but one of those golfisms that I'm just now learning. Actually it was a double bogey and Humphrey, Hubert not Humphrey said we'll win this quagmire that has become my Afghanistan, Vietnam!

Laika the Space Dog, Does McChrystal surf?

Grigori E.R. wrote:Laika the Space Dog, Does McChrystal surf?

No, but he skateboards. There's a big difference. If Stanley just gives the skateboard back, there will be no courts martial.

[img]/red/images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img] "Fail Troop" anybody?

Grigori E.R. wrote:Laika the Space Dog, Does McChrystal surf?

Dunno, Laika?

Laika the Space Dog wrote:

Grigori E.R. wrote:Laika the Space Dog, Does McChrystal surf?

No, but he skateboards. There's a big difference. If Stanley just gives the skateboard back, there will be no courts martial.

Isn't that a deleted scene?

I should fire his honkey ass for having a girly nana first name. What kind of sicko parents would name his boy "Stanley"? He probably has issues.

We must demand Captain Queeg be included in the brainless trust. His vast experience in locating missing strawberries will come in handy when the army is charged with the vital task of finding all the President's lost golf balls. Not to mention figuring out just where the heck all those jobs the Stimulus created went to....

Obama wrote:I should fire his honkey ass for having a girly pussy first name. What kind of a sicko parents would name his boy "Stanley"? He probably has issues.

OMG Obama is in the house. This should add some color to the conversation.

Fire McCrystal? Fire the whole Army! They are nothing but baby-killing psychos.

I'm glad Dear Leader's going to get rid of him. We certainly don't need any oath keepers in the military. They are the most dangerous kind of soldiers. They need to be loyal to Dear Leader, or else, how are we going to keep the masses in line here if they start to go berserk and complain about higher and higher unemployment and Dear Leader's less popular changes?

Leninka, did you say Oath Keeper? That does it, I'm going to hide under my bed (those guys give me the heebie geebies).

So who is he going to replace McCrystal with?

Private Public or General Specific?

Comrades,

We must rally to Obama's defense in light of this latest insult to his grand, strategic battle-plan:




McChrystal's depiction of Obama-- Roiling, Stoned.

--Thought-Crime Warden

Maybe replace McChrystal with:


We know she's loyal to Dear Leader.

You forgot to mention: Private Parts Corporal Punishment Sergeant Shultz Captain Wallace B. Binghamton (Naval Attache) Major Malfunction Colonel Klink General Confusion

Boris Badanoff wrote:You forgot to mention: Private Parts Corporal Punishment Sergeant Shultz Captain Wallace B. Binghamton (Naval Attache) Major Malfunction Colonel Klink General Confusion

And don't forget all the eligible Corpsemen.

--KOOK

Meanwhile... back at the White House Oral Orifice™

Boris Badanoff wrote:You forgot to mention: Private Parts Corporal Punishment Sergeant Shultz Captain Wallace B. Binghamton (Naval Attache) Major Malfunction Colonel Klink General Confusion

...And Ensign Pulver, Lt. Cmdr. Quentin McHale, Maj. Roger Healy, Maj. Anthony Nelson, Col. Alfred Bellows, and TM Lester Gruber....and let's not forget Fuji, somebody has to make the arugula wrapped sushi and sushimi.

Dear Leader™ must have used his head on The General™

There is only one loyal comrade who will be loyal to dearest Leader!! I submit to you -



a real man's man, is he not!

Progressives must eliminate all enemies of The State.

In the People's Republic of Amerika, there is no place for an honest man.

The People must know that private opinions will be made public and public opinions are verboten. Now that this malcontent who was spreading hate and discontent within the ranks has been purged the military will finally stand behind Dear Leader in total solidarity.

Bad attitudes will not be tolerated!

Remember the times when any public figure, especially in the military, or the CIA, who publicly disrespected the administration of George W. Bush, became an instant hero of the news media and rode the wave of popularity for months?

Imagine if Bush were to fire anyone in the military who opposed his conduct. What would the media do to him? They crucified him already for something he HADN'T EVEN DONE - the "outing" of Valery Plame - and turned it into the biggest political scandal since Watergate.

Suddenly, they are all silent. And that is the best proof of who is in control of the news. Remember: he who controls the present, controls the future!

[img]/red/images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

Well, I called that one.

Everybody say "F#%k You Laika! That was an easy 2 point layup....it was a Mulligan...a Gimme....A Creampuff.....A Gopher...On The House....A Rahm.

He voted for Obama.
He had Hillary's support.
His ROE is a laughingstock with the men.
He used the word "gay" in reference to France. (A "First" no doubt)

I'm not surprised.
Next!

I am confused about Gibbs, I will admit that. I predicted 12/2009.

Red Square wrote:Remember the times when any public figure, especially in the military, or the CIA, who publicly disrespected the administration of George W. Bush, became an instant hero of the news media and rode the wave of popularity for months?

Imagine if Bush were to fire anyone in the military who opposed his conduct. What would the media do to him? They crucified him already for something he HADN'T EVEN DONE - the "outing" of Valery Plame - and turned it into the biggest political scandal since Watergate.

Suddenly, they are all silent. And that is the best proof of who is in control of the news. Remember: he who controls the present, controls the future!

Your "Imagine if Bush were to ... " is not just hypothetical, either. Remember, when Rumsfeld reassigned General Eric Shinseki after he insisted the size of the force for invading Iraq needed to be well over 300,000, the media thereafter almost endlessly lionized Shinseki.

Regarding the Plame affair, Fitzgerald had acquired actual knowledge within several weeks after his appointment that a State Department official (Richard Armitage) opposed to Bush on Iraq (and sympathetic to Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame) was the person who had "leaked" Valerie Plame's identity to Novak (in an effort to discredit Bush).

Remember, Novak was a prominent pundit "on the right" staunchly opposed to Bush's strategy for Iraq, so Armitage was giving information about Plame to a pundit friendly to him and hostile to Bush.

Fitzgerald nevertheless carried-on a two year "investigation" to "find" the "leaker," and ultimately prosecuted persecuted Scooter Libby on perjury charges for for an inaccurate statement Libby made before a grand jury (stating his recollection that he had learned Plame's identity from Tim Russert), while ignoring demonstrable inaccuracies (on unrelated issues) in Tim Russert's testimony. (Fitzgerald was about as entitled to crow about obtaining a "conviction" of a conervative Republican -- especially one working for Dick Cheney-- before a Washington, D.C. jury than would have been a prosecutor in Alice in Wonderland.)

Fitzgerald was (sensibly) willing to give Russert the benefit of the doubt regarding his memory lapses, but he pursued Libby for comparable failures of memory with the zeal of Torquemada.


Libby's conviction was a gross miscarriage of justice. He lost his license to practice law.

And what's another of the most disgusting ironies in all this?

Long before these episodes, Scooter Libby, as a lawyer, had gone out of his way to help Richard Armitage in a matter in which he needed legal assistance. Yet throughout Fitzgerald's two-year witch-hunt with Rove as his number one target and Libby as number two, Armitage remained silent and failed to tell anyone he had already told Fitzgerald that he (Armitage) had been Novak's source.


Armitage's excuse (which is damning to Fitzgerald)? That Fitzgerald told him to keep his mouth shut.

It's obvious that that entire episode buries the needle on my anger meter.

Fitzgerald and Armitage dishonorably collaborated to destroy the honor of honorable people.

Think of this: While Fitzgerald had long possessed actual knowledge (through admission by Armitage to Fitzgerald) of the real identity of the leaker, Fitzgerald initiated legal proceedings against Judith Miller (of whom I'm no fan) demanding she identify her confidential sources. In doing so, Fitzgerald represented to the federal court that his need to learn the "identity" of the "leaker" was a matter of national security.

Judith Miller stayed in jail for approximately 6 months until the lawyers all got together and worked out a "deal." (I wrote about all this in great detail long ago, but I'm not bringing it up to draw attention to that, so I'm not providing a link.)

Witchhunt-- plain and simple.

Bush should have pardoned Libby, not merely commuted his sentence. It's the one thing Bush failed to do that I think showed a lack of courage. Otherwise, I'm in his corner.

Please excuse my rant.


--KOOK

Reminiscent of Blackstone's famous quote, "better that ten innocent persons suffer than that one guilty man go free." We can not be too careful in these early stages of The Revolution.

Is there going to be a full page denouncement in the NYT today?

Betrayus! Betrayus! Betray US!!

If only The Mime™ had lived to see this moment.

I hear that (moveOn or HuffingGlue) yanked their old page with the "Betrayus" picture.

Now *that* is what I call the Current Truth in action.

HuffingGlue....bwhahhaha.
That might not be to far from the "Real" truth.

Buffoon....yes, that scene is in Barackalypse Now Redux. It was cut from the original.
McChrystal is a dolt for one reason alone. He got what he voted for and he told EVERYBODY who he voted for....not bright for a General. It makes you an expendable political hack.

I just have the sad feeling this was all staged.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:I hear that (moveOn or HuffingGlue) yanked their old page with the "Betrayus" picture.

Now *that* is what I call the Current Truth in action.

Comrade Whoopie - I took the liberty of redesigning that old ad for them...

ThePeoplesComrade wrote:

Laika the Space Dog wrote: I just have the sad feeling this was all staged.

show firing.jpg

Grab both of them now........before they are taken away!

Bling don't mean a thang.

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Bling don't mean a thang.

Ummm...Let me re-phrase that in "honky-speak"..."Too much fruit salad does not make a General.