The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, I am sure you have all heard by now the shocking, repulsive story of how a fine public servant, Congressman Barney Fwank, was denied a $1 senior discount ticket fare on the NY ferry to Fire Island because he did not have the required id card. I will not rehash that disgusting travesty in this post but if you wish to feel a sense of seething rage, you may read the story here

Fellow workers, this incident has so infuriated me that I think we must DEMAND action NOW in order to ensure nothing so vile and despicable ever happens again. Toward this end, I propose we start a media bullshit campaign hire a bunch of goons to start riots petition our duly elected representatives to create a cabinet-level federal Department of Fairness. The knuckle-dragging oppressors of the weak and believers in economic and social Darwinism have long chortled at outrages such as this and amused themselves with the vile cliche "Life is not fair!" Well, it is time that we use the benevolent crushing power of the gargantuan people's government to make it fair!

The Department of Fairness will be responsible that those with unfair advantages - people who work hard, prepare for things properly, make good decisions and are wise and sober - do not receive more in life than the deserving disadvantaged population - i.e. those who are politically connected. It will employ millions of hard-working agents (who will, of course, receive a generous taxpayer-paid benefits package) that will have broad powers to confiscate, redistribute, reallocate and otherwise ensure that everyone will share in Amerikka's bounty equally. I have a dream that someday soon, an undeserving fat cat will no longer be able to walk down the street and eat a candy bar just because he paid for it; instead, a Deparment of Fairness agent will be on the job to see that half of that candy bar goes to a deserving person who didn't feel like paying for it. And no longer will hard-working people's heros like Barney Fwank will be unfairly forced to obey the government rules and regulations that they and others like them helped create. IT'S JUST NOT FAIR!


P.S. I thought Eric Holder should be first Secretary of Fairness on account of the bang up job he is doing investigating the right-wingnut conspiracy against the New Black Pathers and Shiek Kabob Whatshisname. But if he took the job, we'd need a new Attorney General... hey, Michelle Obama is a lawyer!

Just think of all the jobs this will create. Millions of Fairness Inspectors! I second the emotion. Out of fairness though, shouldn't the Secretary of Fairness be one who already does not have a position? (hint, hint- we can sell this to the highest bidder)

Comrade, This is an excellent progressive idea whose time is way past due. The D.O. F. could also be in charge of implementing the Fairness Doctrine, the symmetry here sends tingles up both mine and Matthew's legs. I sure hope that The Department of Fairness has nothing to do with skin tone!?! I mean I sure don't want to be part of the Department of Fair-Skinned people because that would be raaccisstt…….

My god Lenin, they dared to ask him for his PAPERS??? Who do they think they are? Arizona?

What next? Will the Commander in Chief be required to show his birth certificate like some dumb recruit enlisting in the military?

Will drivers be forced to carry a license, registration and proof of insurance? Will gun nut whackos like Col. 7 and something (and me) have to carry our Concealed Weapons License along with our gun? Must I have my credit or ATM card to make a purchase?

Isn't a man's word good enough anymore?

We should subsidize all ferry rides to Fire Island. Problem solved.

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:We should subsidize all ferry rides to Fire Island. Problem solved.

Fairy rides?

On the NY Post site, a vigilant prog (working under Barney, presumably - how would he otherwise know such details?) posted an explanation:

He was told that federally recognized documentation is not valid for a senior citizen seeking discounted access to FEDERAL LAND (yes, Fire Island is part of the National Seashore). He should be upset on behalf of all senior citizens that such access is not provided. He's doing his job, looking out for the people he represents. And he's doing one heck of job as well.

The land may be federal, but the ferry is local. So when a locality introduces a discount for its citizens who regularly travel to the island, it must by default give the same discounts to anyone in the country, especially those senior citizens looking for a piece of younger ass action. We don't care who pays for all this as long as they get their piece of action. Just like with the housing for the low-income families.

A ranking congressman should know that the best way to improve the overall situation in the country is to give hard time to the lowly clerk at the ticket office, make her feel terrible, hold the line, and demand universal equality and justice at the expense of local taxpayers. That'll show them.

I've been to Fire Island once. It's a quiet seasonal resort with an unusual setting. No cars are allowed and all visitors ride free bicycles on an intricate system of boardwalks that link directly to the porches of bungalows with VERY steep rental fees.

The whole thing has a distinct utopian feel. No doubt many economic and political ideas originated while on vacation there by the North-East elites. No wonder Barney Frank has an unstoppable urge to return there, like a salmon ready to spawn something or other. And even the absence of a $1 discount won't prevent the People's Hero from staying the People's course.

It's for the children!

MY WORD IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE.
I refuse to go to Arizona where all those criminals are (wait, is that what I meant to say???). Well, whatever, I wouldn't pay an extra dollar... that's an outrage. Do they not know what a dollar is worth now?!! (what is that now... 20 cents? gosh) That is insulting to any elderly old codger like Barney the Frank.

Did someone mention fairy? Is that why Barney was going there? humm, I think I'm confused..............

Red Square wrote:On the NY Post site, a vigilant prog (working under Barney, presumably - how would he otherwise know such details?) posted an explanation:

He was told that federally recognized documentation is not valid for a senior citizen seeking discounted access to FEDERAL LAND (yes, Fire Island is part of the National Seashore). He should be upset on behalf of all senior citizens that such access is not provided. He's doing his job, looking out for the people he represents. And he's doing one heck of job as well.

Absolutely, comrade! Commissar Fwank does not care about a mere dollar - he flushes spends billions of the people's dollars every day! No, the issue is not that Comrade Barney Frank is a tightwad with his own money but wastes ours like it was toilet paper is upset over a dollar but he is concerned about US! All of us, you, me, his friends and relatives, the SEIU, the average government employee.... every one of us that deserves to get free stuff no matter how much is costs the taxpayer! Who CARES if NY State's credit rating is "F*ck You!" and NY City is scrounging for deposit bottles to pay for trash pickup? All of us deserve handouts and Barney is going to fight to see that we get them!

Red Square wrote:
I've been to Fire Island once. It's a quiet seasonal resort with an unusual setting. No cars are allowed and all visitors ride free bicycles on an intricate system of boardwalks that link directly to the porches of bungalows with VERY steep rental fees.

We should subsidize all Fire Island bugalow fees and throw in a twenty-something year old aspiring actor/fashion designer. Problem solved. From the government and here to help.

Hold on, isn't shouting "racism" the great equalizer? I mean, shout racism, and the opposing side shuts-up and submits, ergo equalizing the oppressor to that of the oppressed?

What's all this subversiveness about fairy fees to Fire Island?

Cry racism? First we must define Gaysterism as a race.

Gaysterism IS a race. They meet BI-monthly for their little competitions. Here is an accurate photo from last month. I think they compare hair styles or hariness... something, I forget.