The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades!

I have returned from deep in the bowels of Partylabs (…and NO! I was NOT resting and recuperating in a Re-education Camp…) with an important research breakthrough that is bound to save billions – perhaps trillions – for the Obamacare System! The Complete Circles of Life Bio-Chip!

It is an amalgamation of technological breakthroughs from the East and West – tied together with nimble progressive programming.

From the West: we confiscated borrowed from a most cooperative John McDevitt, Professor of Chemistry and Bioengineering at Rice University, their new nano-bio-chip that is able to detect cancer.

(Source:https://www.media.rice.edu/media/NewsBot.asp?MODE=VIEW&ID=14023)


…and from the East, our Saudi friends have donated their “Killer Chip” -- a tiny semiconductor device originally intended to be surgically implanted or injected into the body for the purpose of tracking visitors from other nations by global-positioning satellites and preventing them from overstaying their visas.
(Source:https://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=98386)
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It has taken months of code-crunching and reverse engineering, but under very careful supervision of Party Scientists and ceaseless “prodding,” (zzZZZZAAAPP! I really enjoyed the prodding!) , Professor McDevitt has managed to meld these two chips into one – The Complete Circles of Life Bio-Chip^TM. In essence, the Complete Circles of Life Bio-Chip^TM will be implanted (at the proles' expense) when every American either buys his/her/its mandatory health insurance policy or enrolls in Obamacare. The Complete Circles of Life Bio-Chip^TM will monitor the prole for any, potentially negative or life-threatening changes in their health condition (e.g. signs of cancer, heart troubles, eating excessive calories, consuming transfats, et al.). It will then determine, based on their age, whether or not they are worthy of treatment. If they are above Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel'sBell-Curve, the Complete Circles of Life Bio-Chip^TM will release a chemical agent that will recycle the prole for use as an organ donor, inert farm laborer, and Necro-proxy in accordance with the Complete Circles of Life Program^TM.




As you recall, the Dear Leader (PBUH) stated unequivocally that there would be no “Death Panels” in His Obamacare system. When He made this claim He was expressing His unwavering confidence in our ability to come up with a solution that would not require “Death Panels” to achieve the same result.

We are working alongside Party Psychiatrists and Geneticists at the Karl Marx Treatment Center on upgrading the Complete Circles of Life Bio-Chip^TM to include mental disorders and certain undesirable genetic traits, such as voting for RethugliKKKans and TEA-Bagger candidates, cracker babies, radio talk show hosts, people who enjoy watching FoxNews and various other thought crimes as the Party deems necessary.

We are also on the look out to steal incorporate ideas from some of you up-and-coming progs with other “features” we might like to incorporate.

We are also looking for willing prog volunteers to assist with ongoing medical trials. All nominations are welcome (…except for yours truly…)?

"the Complete Circles of Life Bio-Chip TM will release a chemical agent that will recycle the prole for use as an organ donor, inert farm laborer, and Necro-proxy in accordance with the Complete Circles of Life Program TM."

Indeed a breakthrough in the People's Technology. Just needed a slight correction to Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel's Bell-Curve:


Just remember it's for The Children.

Um...erm... (backing away slowly)

...so how does one "volunteer" for this program. Surely frequent stays in treatment for thought crimes would not be a criterion... would it?

And I noticed that my age group seems to be in a very disadvantageous placement on the graph. The fact that I have participated in 7 different decades should be a plus and not a minus... right?. right??

Boy this sure doesn't seem like the brochure at all, at all. ((sigh)) BTW... my knitting needles have proven to be very, very valuable *cough, tools, *cough.

Comrade Raum,

Glorious technological merge for the advancement of purges. I nominate you to receive the Nobel Peace Prize, as you are most equal to Dear Leader.

"And I noticed that my age group seems to be in a very disadvantageous placement on the graph."

Not to worry Comrade darski. As a member of ThePeoplesCube.com in good standing* the graph does not apply to you. Membership has it's privileges.

*All Union dues paid in full to date. Minuscule fees (to cover processing expenses only) paid to high ranking Party Officials to assure good standing and fill out the 2,000 page Exemption from Bell Curve form #25152118-62131154.

darski wrote:Um...erm... (backing away slowly)

...so how does one "volunteer" for this program. Surely frequent stays in treatment for thought crimes would not be a criterion... would it?

And I noticed that my age group seems to be in a very disadvantageous placement on the graph. The fact that I have participated in 7 different decades should be a plus and not a minus... right?. right??

Boy this sure doesn't seem like the brochure at all, at all. ((sigh)) BTW... my knitting needles have proven to be very, very valuable *cough, tools, *cough.

Comrade darski! Please! Put down you knitting needles....you might hurt someone with those. That's it....easy....good. Step away from the needles....excellent.

To paraphrase another glorious progressive icon: You have nothing to fear but fear itself. You have placed your faith in the Great Massiah (PBUH) and His most capable Disciples! You shall have cradle to grave care, collective redemption and a glorious afterlife of service to the Dear Leader (pbuh) as an organ donor to the greater good of the collective, an inert farm laborer...pushing up daisies, other useful vegetables and of course medicinal herbs...and, most importantly, acting as a necro-proxy ensuring 99% of the vote for the Dear Leader in perpetuity.

Indeed, you will also prove most useful tool Hero of the Revolution in another way...If you will now walk this way....these gentlemen will escort you down to the Karl Marx Treatment Center so that you may assist with the current medical trials. Your glorious perticipation will assist us in working out a few remaining "bugs" we have been experiencing in other test subjects volunteers. We have found some very unfortuate er..."side efects."

Besides....the Dear Leader has all the sweaters and mittens he needs.

Well, well, well, if dear Comrade Raum Emmanual Goldstein didn't return to the collective successfully (after his long jaunt in the Siberian gulag and spy mission to the PROC), nice to see you comrade. We see you have done excellent work for the collective (although it seems you escaped the PROC for other "resources") very good comrade.

When can we begin implanting? errr.. I mean, thank you for discovering this capitalist plot.

(WHEN, DAMMIT, WHEN!?!?!)

Raum Emmanual Goldstein, your insight is fresh air. People are a commodity of The State, nothing more, nothing less. Do we trouble ourselves over rotten fruit (another commodity)? No, we find a use for it and feed it to swine and thereby the public benefits through pulled-pork sandwiches and pickled pig's feet. We must elevate our thinking and stop clinging to our useless lives at the expense of society's good.

Your solution, Comrade Goldstein, of automating the plug pulling decision, removes the emotional component from our decision while society evolves to a higher collective plane. This is technology at it's finest.

Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote:
We are also looking for willing prog volunteers to assist with ongoing medical trials. All nominations are welcome (…except for yours truly…)?

The true devotion and leadership of this prog of progs in being one of the first to implant the Complete Circles of Life Bio Chip ™ should serve as inspiration to the rest of us to submit volunteer for the medical trials immediately to complete this most worthy project for the State.

Grigori E.R. wrote:Not to worry Comrade darski. As a member of ThePeoplesCube.com in good standing* the graph does not apply to you. Membership has it's privileges.

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk… Comrade Grigori! I a surprised at you!

How could you discourage a fellow comrade on the precipice of exploiting the full range of opportunities afforded to all those lemmings who wisely chose to place their trust in the Dear Leader (pbuh) from taking that next, transforming step? She will soon achieve collective salvation…the ultimate privilege of membership to the party.

This is most subversive…most subversive, indeed. I will not however denounce you. There exists still a shred of potential for you to prove yourself a loyal member of the party. There is one seat remaining on the white van from the Karl Marx Treatment Center…parked just outside. If you accompany these gentlemen, they will escort you to CCoL Bio-Chip labs to do your duty for Collective Salvation.

That's it…this is a special jacket with adjustable straps to ensure you are calm and comfortable on your journey towards transformation in hopeful change. You may call it a “chrysalis” if you like. I'm sure they will soon be popular in the Dry Goods section.

By Stalin, Comrade! I am sure you will win the “Order of Alinsky” for this!

Very VERY good news! The "Carousel of Renewal" must be nearing completion!

R.E.G., I fear that you are exhibiting signs of becoming dizzy with success in reprimanding a Party Official of our dear spritual mentor, Grigori E.R.'s stature. For one thing, high Party Officials are far too valuable to the welfare of the state to be subjected to the regulations imposed on the lesser members of the Collective. No expense can be spared to preserve the health and longevity of these tireless workers for the Greater Good. For another, Grigori has already shown that he can stand up to any death panel or microchip devised by man. For a third, he's standing right behind you.

Greetings, Brother Maynard! Professor Solinger sends his regards.

Just start implanting the RuthugliKKKan bastards and get this party rolling.
What the hell is the Civilian National Security Force doing anyway?

Comrade Raum Emmanual Goldstein said;
"By Stalin, Comrade! I am sure you will win the “Order of Alinsky” for this!"

I'm not one for naming names, but would you like to know who Comrade Alinsky's Spiritual Adviser was?

Commissar Ivan Betinov brought up a good point;

"No expense can be spared to preserve the health and longevity of these tireless workers for the Greater Good."

This was the point I was stating in my comment about Membership. Members of the PeoplesCube.com are by very definition those tireless workers for the cause. Who else? Those pseudo socialists that infest our beloved Congress? I say no and yet all members of Congress are exempt from any manner of Healthcare reform. We are the Creme de la Creme of the Party. We are the Pinnacle of Progdom. Do we not deserve a little consideration for our efforts? I say YES, just as long as the proper Party Protocol Procedures are met (there have to be some rules).

This, Brothers and Sisters is not about privileges or special consideration for any individual member. It's about preserving the best of us to lead the USA, nay the World into the Utopian Paradise we all know can and will be. The masses need our guidance Comrades. You know this in your heart of hearts.

Gulag 4 Alfred wrote:Just start implanting the RuthugliKKKan bastards and get this party rolling.
What the hell is the Civilian National Security Force doing anyway?

analplug.jpg

Yes, one is never too young to be a useful Comrade. Youth Insertion Squads ™ should cover the landscape. What a priceless snapshot, I laugh with joy and pride.

Grigori E.R. wrote: "No expense can be spared to preserve the health and longevity of these tireless workers for the Greater Good."

This was the point I was stating in my comment about Membership. Members of the PeoplesCube.com are by very definition those tireless workers for the cause. Who else? Those pseudo socialists that infest our beloved Congress? I say no and yet all members of Congress are exempt from any manner of Health Care reform. We are the Creme de la Creme of the Party. We are the Pinnacle of Progdom. Do we not deserve a little consideration for our efforts? I say YES, just as long as the proper Party Protocol Procedures are met (there have to be some rules).

This, Brothers and Sisters is not about privileges or special consideration for any individual member. It's about preserving the best of us to lead the USA, nay the World into the Utopian Paradise we all know can and will be. The masses need our guidance Comrades. You know this in your heart of hearts.

I see your point Com. Grigori... In essence "Some are more equal than others?" But Party Protocol -- like the Current Truth and our "living and breathing" Constitution -- must be subject to change and open interpretation without notice if they are to remain "Progressive."

Indeed, IF we are all equal...and some are more equal than others, then does not PartyLogicTM also require that some of us who are more equal are also more equally equal than the others?

As the Chosen Few, some of us who are more equally equal than others may be called upon by the Dear Leader (or His designated agents) to provide a useful example for the People to follow in accordance with the capricious desires of the Dear Leader (or His designated agents). In that vein, the WORTH of each member of the Party Elite (except for those who must remain to ensure the continued success of the Complete Circles of LifeTM Program) can only be measured by the willingness of said member to lay down his life for the Dear Leader (or His designated agents).

One who is reluctant must -- by logical extension -- be less equal than his more equally equal contemporaries. Is that not so?

So... ONLY those members of the Party Elite who are the most enthusiastic to have a test version of the Complete Circles of Life Bio-Chip inserted may be considered the stalwartly loyal "Creme de la Creme of the Party." AND, by contrast, those who are openly reluctant to place their faith HOPE™ in the game system -- and the living, breathing rules that govern it -- are (by logical extention) less deserving and -- dare I say -- less than loyal.

As an esteemed member of the "Pinnacle of Progdom", such logical truths should not have escaped you. The fact that I, a mild and humble servant of the Dear Leader, have had to point this out to you is futher indication that your loyalties to ThePeoplesCube.com may be in question and all the more reason you should hop on the van before someone in a position of authority finds out about this unfortunate breach of the People's Protocol!

You may rest assured, Comrade. The current Complete Circles of Life Bio-ChipTM prototype is only about the size of a small toaster, and if your loyalty to the party is truly unquestionable then you should suffer no ill effects. I doubt you will have anything to worry about.