We must follow proper protocol in issuing our Fatwas! There can be no exceptions, "A fatwa is a fatwa is a fatwa."
Youssef Al-Ahmed, a Saudi cleric, issued a fatwa against the supermarket chain Panda for daring to hire women who mingle with male customers and employees alike. But Grand Mufti Sheik Abdul-Aziz Al Sheik has issued a fatwa against the fatwa issued by Youssef Al-Ahmed because Al-Ahmed is not of sufficient status to issue fatwas. In reply Al-Ahmed issued a fatwaette against any of his junior clerics from talking about the rescinded fatwa. Grand Mufti Sheik Abdul-Aziz Al Sheik then issued a fatwa against fatwaettes saying you can't have smaller fatwas. "A fatwa is a fatwa is a fatwa."
To read more from where I confiscated the quote above click here:
8/28/2010, 1:38 pm
Comrade Whoopie
Hoo boy, now you gone and started something. Ok, I'll be the first...
I issue a fatwa on your fatwa against ill conceived fatwas.
(Ok, who's next?)
8/28/2010, 1:50 pm
Mrs Al Czarweary
I issue fatwa that there is to be no more fatwa... EVAH!!!
8/28/2010, 1:57 pm
John Lenin
I'll see your fatwa and raise you three jihads and a call for Tolerance ™.
8/28/2010, 2:00 pm
Leninka
Wait a minute. I didn't get my fatwa in. I issue a fatwa on all goats that belong to Mrs. Al Czarweary because, because, they are goats, and goats are so stupid, they don't know the first thing about fatwas. Was that a stupid fatwa? I'll think of a better one later.
8/28/2010, 2:11 pm
Mrs Al Czarweary
Good thing I not to have any goats.
8/28/2010, 2:12 pm
Leninka
Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:I issue fatwa that there is to be no more fatwa... EVAH!!!
I issue a fatwa against Mrs Al Czarweary's Brooklyn accent!
8/28/2010, 2:24 pm
Leninka
Comrade Whoopie wrote:Hoo boy, now you gone and started something. Ok, I'll be the first...
I issue a fatwa on your fatwa against ill conceived fatwas.
(Ok, who's next?)
What is this business of issuing fatwas to end all fatwas? I'm not fatwa'd out yet, and I know you, Comrade Whoopie, are just itching to issue another fatwa!
8/28/2010, 3:30 pm
Groucho Marxist
What's all this fatwahs wahs wahs?
What about the Skinnywahs?
Or the Thinwahs?
Medium buildwahs?
Perhaps even a size 12 wahs?
Nobody says anything about them. It's all about fatwahs. Doesn't it occur to anyone they may have eating disorders, or a glandular problem. My aunt Beluga had this gastro-intestional thing that when it went off, oh my whew. She could eat carrots and gain weight. She could eat celery and gain weight. She could eat cabbage, oooh she ate way too much cabbage...Anyway enough picking on the fatwahs.
I'll have that and a Fat-Free Declaration of Jihad. I'm trying to watch my weight...
8/28/2010, 3:45 pm
Leninka
Why, that's a lovely Avatar you have there, Gorby.
I issue a fatwa on Check Point Charlie for fatwaing up the discussion of fatwas.
8/28/2010, 3:46 pm
Gorby Obamachev
Thank you Comrade Leninka - I came up with that at the Artist's Collective.
8/28/2010, 3:52 pm
Groucho Marxist
My fatwa is bigger than your fatwa.
8/28/2010, 3:56 pm
Check Point Charlie
Comrade Leninka,
Proper protocol of fatwas and/or fatwaettes to have Sharia compliance requires that they be issued by a member of the male sexual gender with sperm producing testicles only. You do not have sufficient status to issue fatwas. You must be denounced for issuing fake fatwas.
8/28/2010, 4:03 pm
Comrade Whoopie
Oh no you didn't just say that Charlie, I know someone who's gonads are gonna be in the soup tonight.
8/28/2010, 4:18 pm
Leninka
Check Point Charlie wrote:Comrade Leninka,
Proper protocol of fatwas and/or fatwaettes to have Sharia compliance requires that they be issued by a member of the male sexual gender with sperm producing testicles only. You do not have sufficient status to issue fatwas. You must be denounced for issuing fake fatwas.
What was that about sperm producing testicles only? That excludes you, too, then, Check Point Charlie. Don't forget how your FemiNazi female gender spousal unit sent you to the testicle lock box Testicle Jiffi-Snip ™ .
8/28/2010, 4:21 pm
Check Point Charlie
Comrade Leninka,
I think its best to retreat while behind like General Kudosov.
8/28/2010, 5:12 pm
Fraulein Frankenfeinstein
I place a new fatwaette that there shall be no more fatwa!!! I am sick of fat and wa's and ettes! spit spit!
8/28/2010, 5:21 pm
Leninka
Et tu Fraulein?
8/28/2010, 6:09 pm
Opiate of the People
What about a fatWaWa, which is a very tolerant convenience store chain on the East Coast?
8/28/2010, 6:09 pm
Leninka
Comrade Check Point Charlie,
Not a bad move. Kudosov led 500,000 French soldiers to an icicle party in Moscow.
Comrade Opiate,
I had no idea that there were nice Fatwas.
8/28/2010, 7:01 pm
Fraulein Frankenfeinstein
Yes, dear Leninka, thank you for asking. I et before going to the gulag to place in my fatwaette. Denouncing is hard business.
8/28/2010, 10:41 pm
darski
How is it possible for party to be equality of equals if we without testicles cannot issue fatwas
I denounce all testicle owners and issue fatwa against them... not applicable to members of The Party who get to control the air that I breathe and the beets that I eat. :{
8/28/2010, 10:56 pm
Groucho Marxist
Runs away with obvious joke......
8/29/2010, 12:22 am
Leninka
He who has testicles rules, Comrade darski. Why do you think, like a good FemiNazi, that I worked so hard to grow this beard. To be like a man, is to rule the world. THis is why equality mean being as close to being like a man as possible.
8/29/2010, 1:50 am
Colonel 7.62
I see the fatwahs and jihads, and raise four mosques built near sights of muslim terrorist attacks, two Israeli D-9 Caterpillar bulldozers (Thank you Rachel Corrie's Ghost), a container load of burkahs, and a half dozen racing camels.
On top of that, I am issuing my own fatwah. Namely that Pinkie's shovel cannot strike an Inner Party(TM) member between the hours of 12am and 11:59:59pm.
8/29/2010, 1:58 am
Leninka
What? You've got those times bass acckwards! What on earth are you thinking? What are you up to? Always confounding me with the time. I issue a fatwa on Colonel 7.62's watch.
8/29/2010, 2:08 am
Colonel 7.62
I issue a fatwah on whatever economically neutrally employed non resident undocumented democrat migrant guest worker is supposed to be giving Leninka the memos.
And the memo says my watch is the standard by which all other watches are set. Except for Red Square's watch. I set mine by his. Unfortunately, I think one of his subordinates sets his watch by my watch. Much hilarity usually ensues.
8/29/2010, 2:50 am
Leninka
More confounded doublespeak. Just like capitalist commercial:
8/29/2010, 9:45 am
Shovel 4 U
Yaroslava wants to know if she can join said fatwa's? Just asking....
8/29/2010, 11:17 am
Colonel 7.62
I issue a fatwah on Comrade Gulag 4 U. I do not think I must explain why.
There are REASONS burkahs were invented damnit!
Leninka, of course I speak doubleplusgood doublespeak. It is required to be a good proggie.
8/29/2010, 12:13 pm
Comrade Whoopie
Comrade Shovel, have you been visiting Leninka's facebook page?
8/29/2010, 9:29 pm
Colonel 7.62
STALIN DAMN IT WHOOPIE! No wormhole privileges for a month for you!
