The People's Cube - Political Satire

Effingham deputies call feds after arresting Russians with shovel, wire cutters outside Georgia Power plant.

SPRINGFIELD — Effingham County sheriff deputies have reported the early Sunday morning arrest of three men to the federal Joint Terrorism Task Force.

The men, two from Russia and one from Kazakhstan, were found near Georgia Power's Plant McIntosh on Old Augusta Road about 1 a.m. Sunday after a ranger with the Department of Natural Resources reported a suspicious vehicle, Effingham County sheriff's spokesman David Ehsanipoor said.

Deputies reported the men, who were inside a 1995 Nissan Pathfinder, had a machete, shovel, wire cutters and ski masks. One man also had black silk stockings in his front left pocket.

All three reported they lived in Charleston, S.C., deputies reported.

The men were all charged with possession of tools during the commission of a crime.

The three were released after being interviewed by task force members, Ehsanipoor said.
"They did all have visas that allowed them to be here and are supposed to be leaving the country soon."

https://savannahnow.com/effingham-now/2 ... re-cutters


OK - Who didn't read the Revolution Handbook again, especially the part about not getting caught.

What is your alibi, Comrade?

I was in Chicago at the time ;-/

bada bum bump (rim shot)

It all depends on what the meaning of the word "is" is, Comrade.

Oh, my alibi ? I was up all night Saturday changing the oil on my Pobeda SUV. I must do this every week or the engine seizes up because of the little bits of metal. My neighbors can tell you that this is so . . . the smoke that was made by trying to start it was hanging over the village all day Sunday. Am I now permitted to go, comrade ?

Ski masks, black silk stockings, shovels...sounds like they were just looking for love in all the wrong places.

Shovel 4 U wrote:One man also had black silk stockings in his front left pocket.

This was a total misunderstanding and a clear case of ethnic profiling. They saw the shovels in our car and pegged us a Russians immediately. We had just returned from a successful (and harmless) panty raid at Charleston Southern University. I maintain if we had been Norwegian they would not have searched our vehicle.

Don't you see? While these operatives were captured, the higher level operatives may now act with impunity, while the attention is on these bunglers.

DANG. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY PUBLISH THIS AS NEWS. I was just as discreet as I could be and then out of no where, they coppers jump out of the bushes!! I am so sorry we let you down, comrades. Comrade Comrade and I will do better next time.

I just hate gulags.

An aside: That's one beautiful shovel pictured there! A real dandy! I love the little foot rest on it, but shouldn't it be on the LEFT side?

My alibi would be: We were just checking up on our beet crop and the best time to do it is 1am. I use the shovel to dig up the beets. Then I hack off the leaves with the machete. The wire cutters are for my toe nails—I know, I forgot to leave them in the Pathfinder and accidentally brought them with me.

Oh... the silk stockings? No, they're not mine! They really belong to a congressman in Massachusetts!

Comrade Whinny, what a lovely description for our next alibi trip. You simply must come along! We can always use another set of eyes, ears, hands and shovels.