3/21/2006, 9:35 pm
By Don Hagen
A Political Party Quiz to Test If You're an Archconservative, Leftwing Wacko, Antigovernment Libertine or a Commie Sympathizer
Submitted by the author personally, who has so far compiled 179 questions and answers on his web page - https://www.geocities.com/donaldjhagen/humoroustest.html
Some sample questions:
1: Government's practice of stealing from the rich to give to the poor is...
CONSERVATIVE: a crime.
LIBERAL: a brave, generous, and heroic deed.
LIBERTARIAN: a foolish, misguided attempt at social engineering.
COMMUNIST: an inspiration to us all.
7: The Center for Public-Health Dietary Self Control releases a study that says eating just one jelly donut is as harmful to human health as smoking 10,000,000 cartons of cigarettes. Do you...
CONSERVATIVE: keep eating jelly donuts.
LIBERAL: demand that jelly donuts be removed from vending machines, and public school cafeterias.
LIBERTARIAN: hoard jelly donuts before they are regulated off grocer's shelves.
COMMUNIST: hoard jelly donuts so you can sell them on the black market.
10: What techniques are best for maintaining discipline in the classroom?
CONSERVATIVE: If just one student misbehaves, severely punish the entire class.
LIBERAL: Force boys who refuse to settle down to take psychotropic drugs, such as Ritalin and Prozac.
LIBERTARIAN: Anyone who doesn't want to be in class can leave.
COMMUNIST: Anyone who doesn't want to be in class can be made an example of.
20: What's the best way to stop people from illegally crossing our borders?
CONSERVATIVE: Seal the borders so no one can get in.
LIBERAL: Do nothing to beef up security at the borders, and offer illegal aliens a wide array of free services.
LIBERTARIAN: Allow unrestricted passage across the borders.
COMMUNIST: Seal the borders so no one can get out.
21: How would you define the word "profit"?
CONSERVATIVE: What business owners earn by selling a quality product at a competitive price.
LIBERAL: What business owners RIP-OFF from their customers.
LIBERTARIAN: What business owners are rewarded with for risking the loss of their own money.
COMMUNIST: What business owners RIP-OFF from their employees.
A Political Party Quiz to Test If You're an Archconservative, Leftwing Wacko, Antigovernment Libertine or a Commie Sympathizer
Submitted by the author personally, who has so far compiled 179 questions and answers on his web page - https://www.geocities.com/donaldjhagen/humoroustest.html
Some sample questions:
1: Government's practice of stealing from the rich to give to the poor is...
CONSERVATIVE: a crime.
LIBERAL: a brave, generous, and heroic deed.
LIBERTARIAN: a foolish, misguided attempt at social engineering.
COMMUNIST: an inspiration to us all.
7: The Center for Public-Health Dietary Self Control releases a study that says eating just one jelly donut is as harmful to human health as smoking 10,000,000 cartons of cigarettes. Do you...
CONSERVATIVE: keep eating jelly donuts.
LIBERAL: demand that jelly donuts be removed from vending machines, and public school cafeterias.
LIBERTARIAN: hoard jelly donuts before they are regulated off grocer's shelves.
COMMUNIST: hoard jelly donuts so you can sell them on the black market.
10: What techniques are best for maintaining discipline in the classroom?
CONSERVATIVE: If just one student misbehaves, severely punish the entire class.
LIBERAL: Force boys who refuse to settle down to take psychotropic drugs, such as Ritalin and Prozac.
LIBERTARIAN: Anyone who doesn't want to be in class can leave.
COMMUNIST: Anyone who doesn't want to be in class can be made an example of.
20: What's the best way to stop people from illegally crossing our borders?
CONSERVATIVE: Seal the borders so no one can get in.
LIBERAL: Do nothing to beef up security at the borders, and offer illegal aliens a wide array of free services.
LIBERTARIAN: Allow unrestricted passage across the borders.
COMMUNIST: Seal the borders so no one can get out.
21: How would you define the word "profit"?
CONSERVATIVE: What business owners earn by selling a quality product at a competitive price.
LIBERAL: What business owners RIP-OFF from their customers.
LIBERTARIAN: What business owners are rewarded with for risking the loss of their own money.
COMMUNIST: What business owners RIP-OFF from their employees.