The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, it saddens me to report two of our stalwart Liberal States have declared war over me.

Makin' Whoopie: Is Pennsylvania the birthplace of the Whoopie pie?
Published: Wednesday, January 19, 2011, 7:10 PM
By SUE GLEITER, The Patriot-News

Pennsylvanians ready to declare a pie fight.

The beloved Whoopie pie — the popular chocolate cakes with white, fluffy frosting — is under threat. Maine wants the snack to be its official state dessert.

Many say Whoopie pies originated in Pennsylvania, where Amish women baked them and put them in farmers' or schoolchildrens' lunches. Those who found them in their lunch pails would shout, “Whoopie!”

Recently, the Whoopie pie has become trendy.

A May 2009 New York Times story lavished praise on the dessert and noted that historians credit Pennsylvania as its birthplace. Last June, The San Francisco Chronicle declared that the pies were becoming a “West Coast sensation.”

But Whoopie pies will always be part of the Keystone State's culinary landscape.

Let me set the record straight and in so doing avert needless death and destruction, war never solved anything.

The Whoopie pie was invented by the People's Amish Dessert Collective in PA. The name Whoopie Pie was taken from the nickname the gulag gals have given me because I'm so darned sweet.

As a compromise for the sake of peace I'd like to offer the people of Maine another sweet dessert which we call "Sticky Buns" so named in honor of our hard working staff here at Party HQ who spend so much time seated at their computers working diligently for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday.

That looks like a giant Suzy-Q to me. I think Hostess has beaten you all to the punch.

And you better hide that from MOOshelle too! you know how she feels about desserts!

Whoopie, I will rally the troops, but they will only fight for the more progressive state.

I am not familiar with this image of stuffed dog do but I do know what making whoopee.... whoopie is. And I don't understand why states would be waring over dog patties and as for 'making whoopee', that is done is all 56. . 57 states. I suggest rechecking your informants misleading information Plus I find resentment in "sticky bun" comment . . . I take a shower every week it's allowed! .

I, as an exceptionally serious and stern Party official, see no humor in celebrating the favorite dessert of race traitors like Clarence Thomas. If these pies truly are in the process of corrupting the workers of San Francisco, it is time the City Apparatchiks did their duty and banned them as they did the evil and vile Happy Meal ™.

DANGIT! I wasn't the least bit hungry until I saw that mighty fine huge cookie filling a plate.

And then I decided to Google Image "whoopie pie"-

https://www.google.com/images?hl=en&source=imghp&q=whoopie+pie

Now I am yelling at Mrs. Scratchanitch to make something sweet.

And she is yelling something back at me. I think I heard the words "Make it yerself, fatass!"

See how much trouble you started?

Alright, the guilty comrade can come forward and confess now and not lose their beet rations, or else there will be collective punishment for Sticky Bun theft....


<h2>DON'T TOUCH MY STICKY BUNS!!!</h2>

Comrade Whoopie,

Heard of your plight and of course want to offer my assistance to avoid this conflict. I see "Sticky Buns" has been offered as a suitable replacement for Maine's dessert selection.

Of course they may turn it down and it always good to have a backup Pie offering.

I've been toiling away in The People's Galley and have come up with a surefire hit that will get those Mainer's mouths just a drooling, a pie that truly honors a State that produced the likes of Stephen King.........I Present Pumpkin Pie stuffed with Veggies and Spam slices.

I DENOUNCE THE COMMODORE FOR SPAMMING THE CUBE!

Comrade Rooster, I will confess . . . I mentioned to Buffoon that there were Sticky Buns in the back of the hen house. I do not know for any factuality that he is personally responsible for their demise & consumption, but it does raise questions does it not.

Snoogie Woogums, please do not tell me that is all that's left of Comrade Porkulus?

Great idea Snoogie, give Maine the spam pie and we'll keep the sticky buns for ourselves.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:.........I Present Pumpkin Pie stuffed with Veggies and Spam slices.

Ohh....my.....gawd.


I ain't hungry any more. Pumpkin pie? Are you sure?

I want one of each. Even the pumpkin spam stuffed pie looks good. Living out on the kollektive farm one learns to eat everything.

It really looks more like a quiche than pumpkin pie. I see veggies in there.

(and Snoogie is a notorious fibber)

Comrade Whoopie, it's got meat and cheese and crust (hopefully made with lard) and vegetables. What's not to like. When the world gets hsort on food I will not starve. Comrade MadJack likes everything. ;)