1/22/2011, 4:42 pm
In an earlier post, our esteemed Comrade Whoopie refered to FLOTUS as "Mother Michelle". Sycophantic self-righteous asshole Progressive that I am, this inspired me to write a song in tribute to her and her caring interference attitude. Here it is, co-opting (for the public good) the melody of "Let It Be":
DO NOT EAT
When I find myself enjoying chocolate, Mother Michelle comes at me!
Busting my f*****g eardrums, "DO NOT EAT!"
And in my hour of dinner, she is standing right in front of me
Fingering my meatballs, "DO NOT EAT!"
Chorus:
"DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!, DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!"
Everything that's tasty, "DO NOT EAT!"
And when the junk-food junkie people go looking for a fix or three,
She will stand there bleating, "DO NOT EAT!"
For though they have the right to, she will nag them 'til they agree
She has all the answers, "DO NOT EAT!"
Chorus:
"DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!, DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!"
Buy vegetables at WalMart, else "DO NOT EAT!"
Tho your midnight snack is hidden, there's still a chance that she will see
Then she'll scream on 'til tomorrow, "DO NOT EAT!"
She'll criticize your lunch and dinner, every meal from A to Z
"STAY AWAY FROM TRANS-FATS... DO NOT EAT!"
Chorus:
"DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!, DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!"
The State will run your life now, "DO NOT EAT!"
DO NOT EAT
When I find myself enjoying chocolate, Mother Michelle comes at me!
Busting my f*****g eardrums, "DO NOT EAT!"
And in my hour of dinner, she is standing right in front of me
Fingering my meatballs, "DO NOT EAT!"
Chorus:
"DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!, DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!"
Everything that's tasty, "DO NOT EAT!"
And when the junk-food junkie people go looking for a fix or three,
She will stand there bleating, "DO NOT EAT!"
For though they have the right to, she will nag them 'til they agree
She has all the answers, "DO NOT EAT!"
Chorus:
"DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!, DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!"
Buy vegetables at WalMart, else "DO NOT EAT!"
Tho your midnight snack is hidden, there's still a chance that she will see
Then she'll scream on 'til tomorrow, "DO NOT EAT!"
She'll criticize your lunch and dinner, every meal from A to Z
"STAY AWAY FROM TRANS-FATS... DO NOT EAT!"
Chorus:
"DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!, DO NOT EAT, DO NOT EAT!"
The State will run your life now, "DO NOT EAT!"
