The People's Cube - Political Satire

Obama: How My Vision for Our Sputnik Moment Saves America

My Fellow Comrade Americans,

It is with great pride and humility that I recognize that my insights into our new "Sputnik Moment" reveal how my vision for America and the World will save not only America but also the entire Earth. I already predicted the seas would stop rising, Global Warming would subside and artic ice would stop receding. Oh, yee of little faith, have I not kept my word? Thus, it's obvious that you can "take it to the bank [for redistribution, of course]" that my prediction of the beneficial effects of my vision for dealing with our new "Sputnik Moment" will come true. I must confess, that my vision came from my wisdom in immersing my mind in the Progressive Thought that my mind inspired among the gifted minds within the Inner-Party Circle at one of our favorite meeting-places: The Peoples Cube, a place where I find that I never fail to succeed in exercising the astounding insights of my keen intellect. Well, enough about me. More about "I" is in order (or should it be "more about I am in order?). It doesn't matter because whichever way I may choose to say it, I must be correct in thus saying it. Now, enough about "I" and more about "me" and "my." How will my vision enable me to implement my insights on how I can enable America to save the world by properly responding to the new "Sputnik Moment"?

First, I cancelled the NASA plans for returning to the Moon-- this will serve worldwide economic efficiency by enabling the Chinese to be the second nation to get to the moon "first." Then, to the accompanyment of the world-famous Chinese pianist who recently entertained the world with his eclectic selection of music at the White House after the State Dinner for Hu, I will recite the famous American duet by Bud Abbott and Lou Costello, "Hu's on First." This will add to our economic recovery because there is no doubt that a YouTube video of this will quickly eclipse the number of views of the Chinese pianist honoring America with his eclectic seletion at the State Dinner. Indeed, in may even eclipse the wildly popular video of Putin singing about how he found his thrill on Blueberry Hill. (Perhaps I should have invited Putin to that State Dinner-- maybe he and Hu could have sung a duet.) I also want to take this opportunity to explain that I did not intend my failure to invite Boehner to constitute a "snub" of Boehner. Instead, I feared he might insist on asking Hu to accompany him in a duet, which I feared would degenerate into boo-Hu.


Actually, there's another reason that my visionary insights led me to understand why I was right to cancell NASA's back-to-the-moon program-- that's because I have been able to see "over the horizon" (i.e., beyond the curvature of the Earth). What have I seen? The most incredible technology imaginable is on the verge of being offered to us completely free of charge. It will make our NASA program for human exploration of space seem archaic and wholly obsolete. Indeed, it will enable me to command world-wide, simultaneous engagement of the minds of all Earthlings on the most important task facing us: Having the thoughts and minds of all Earthlings simultaneously engaged in furthering my vision of Woman's/Man's Place in the Universe. We know the BORG constitute the most advanced societal structure for enabling all minds to support the Collective Good and thereby eschew the archaic notions of individuality conceived by those 18th Century, wig-wearing, stockings-wearing, Plato-reading, Aristotle-reading, non-women the reich-winger Beck describes as our "Founding Fathers." Thus, the Peoples BORG Cube will enable all Earthlings to be assimilated into our Collective Vision of the Future.



This leaves NASA free to perform a much more important aspect of my vision for saving America and Mother Nature, also known as GAIA. As you know, it was only recently that Flat-Earthers (as well as Busty-Earthers) and Holocaust Deniers attempted to discredit Nobel-Prize- Winner Gore's scientifically undebatable theory of Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW) now known as Anthropogenic Climate Change (ACC) by spreading the absurd assertions that our scientists' reinterpretation of data to further strengthen the already impervious scientific evidence of AGW/ACC constituted "manipulations" and "falsifications" of data. Such scientific blasphemy against scientific orthodoxy poses incalculable danger to the scientific orthodoxy of AGW/ACC. Thus, NASA will now devote most of its resources to free GAIA from the web of lies spun by the "ClimateGate Defamers of AGW/ACC." No longer will we be planning to again spoil the moon with our plans to commerially exploit its resources-- we know the Chinese will do a far better job of that in a manner much more harmonious with collective unity than would we.




Of course, perhaps the most important element of my vision for responding to our new "Sputnik Moment" is GAIA Minister Neytiri's ascension to the additonal role of "BORG Queen," in which position she will be able to control the minds of women as well as her image controls the minds of men. This serves the additional "gender equality" aspect of my vision for America and the world. Previously, GAIA's effectiveness was limited by the fact that her being "hot" was the primary tool for enabling young men to perceive GAIA as getting hot and thereby desperately needing their attention. Now, she can directly influence the motivatons of women as well as men to be Green. It's all a brilliant strategy if I do say so myself, which I do. But as the new Peoples BORG Cube Queen, she still retains the ability to revert to her natural blue at will, and she will retain her title and authority as "GAIA Minister Neytiri" in addition to her new authority and power as the Peoples BORG Cube's new Queen.
It's all a brilliant strategy if I do say so myself, which I do.



--Fearless Leader.

Brilliant!


GAIA Minister Neytiri's ascension to the role of "BORG Queen" to rightfully assume her throne beside "THE ONE" will surely piss off Moochelle put assimilation into the collective in overdrive.
The Progressive World of Next Tuesday draws near.

I think it is wonderful, how Obama snuck in his long, bloviating speech, glorious praise for communist and communist countries, especially when he still managed to put down America. He is very tricky, is he not?!

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:I think it is wonderful, how Obama snuck in his long, bloviating speech, glorious praise for communist and communist countries, especially when he still managed to put down America. He is very tricky, is he not?!

Fraulein,

He never misses a beat, an opportunity, or a cheap shot, to reflect his great patriotic LOVE for this country. Within the nuances of his brilliant oratory one can find many hidden messages refering to how we should be conducting our lives and our thoughts. His message of Utopian bliss cannot be ignored. He LOVES this country! No, really... he does! Hey, I'm trying to be serious here and everyone's laughing at me! STOP THAT LAUGHING!

"Within the nuances of his brilliant oratory one can find many hidden messages refering to how we should be conducting our lives and our thoughts."

So true Comrade Whinny-da-PBUH. Like the "Deficit Adjustment In Space Yeomanship":
The brilliant subtlety of reducing NASA to nothing was lost on the unknowing masses. Nature abhors a vacuum. The evil kkkapitalist's will fill the Space Vacuum with space exploration endeavors that will actually benefit mankind and do so while turning a profit. Then we come in and Nationalize their corrupt enterprises, re-distribute their ill-gotten gains and take the credit for all their achievements.

See, Comrade PBUH, that's what we do.

So good to see Neytiri and with a promotion to boot. Maybe Porg Queen or Prog Queen instead? In keeping with the current era? Anyway, kudos to you Fearless Leader. Keep up the good work..................stop laughing Comrade PBUH, I'm trying to be serious here.