The People's Cube - Political Satire

Now let's pretend in real life that I teach somewhere in a private Christian school. If I lose my job, well, that's sad and all, and many will wish me well in finding another job. In fact, I'd be expected to start looking for work. Having found work, who would think it strange that I paid for much of my own health care, and my retirement was left up to me? Well, enough of hypothetical scenarios; the thought of working in an environment where I'd be expected to show up and, uh, work, is something I can contemplate only in small doses.

So, what to do, what to do? I know, I'll join a union! Just insert the magic word union, double my pay and my benefits, and now any (any) suggestion that I pay for my own retirement or healthcare becomes an act of attempted genocide. Never mind that in my best effort to create my own separate economy I have created a shortage of goods and services and have increased unemployment! No! I need more, and anyone who suggests that I should accept a pay cut to meet a, what do they call it?, budget is guilty of attempted murder. They're treading on my corpse and wringing my livelihood from the bleeding lips of the widows and orphans, or something like that.

So, comrades, how about a bloggers' union? For the Common Good™! Blogging is an art form. And it's for the Children™! Every day one of my children says to me, “Dad, can I become a union blogger like you when I grow up?” I tell them that they can, but not if the Busheois Repugnantcans get their way and demand we work for a living. Comrades, we must organize! Altogether now…

What do we want!
Subsidies!
When do we want it!
Yesterday!

I, for one, will continue to post articles on the Cube until my demands are met. Who will join me in my struggle for the Bloggers' Union Utopia of Next Tuesday?

Hmmm a blogger's union, huh? I think the International Federation of the Unemployed already organize that segment of the unpaid working class.

Of course the Inner Party has a very generous health care plan (check your employee handbook under the chapter "They shoot horses don't they?")

And Red Square provides us all the crayons and drawing paper necessary to create our Photoshops.

All in all I can't complain (it's forbidden).

This is a glorious idea and I am ready to join to gain all of my redistributed free stuff, but it appears there is already such a Union for bloggers. (although I could not read the writings they were writing)



අපේ ලංකාවේ එක එක දේවල් පිලිබද එක එක මත දරණ අයනේ ඉන්නේ. ඒවගේම මේ තියෙන්නේ මම දරණ මතයක්. අපිට මේ ලෝකයේ ජිවත් etc., etc.

Komissar Blogunov wrote:

... any (any) suggestion that I pay for my own retirement or healthcare becomes an act of attempted genocide. Never mind that in my best effort to create my own separate economy I have created a shortage of goods and services and have increased unemployment! No! I need more, and anyone who suggests that I should accept a pay cut to meet a, what do they call it?, budget is guilty of attempted murder. They're treading on my corpse and wringing my livelihood from the bleeding lips of the widows and orphans, or something like that.

.....Yesterday!

I, for one, will continue to post articles on the Cube until my demands are met. Who will join me in my struggle for the Bloggers' Union Utopia of Next Tuesday?

Yeah!!!! And have they considered that, like any red-blooded American, sure, I have a car, I have a house, but I wouldn't if I wasn't able to charge it on my Mastercard!!! Now who's gonna make my $500.00 / month Lexus payment? I have a constitutional right to a car! And can someone explain to me this "Next Tuesday" thing? What's happening next Tuesday? Will there be food?

Brothers and Sisters,
No one received the memo? Something really needs to be done about inter-Cube communication. Ahem, "We the People's Cube" already have a Union. With membership, enrollment in our Union is automatic. The reason no one has noticed is that the Benefit Package does not appear immediately. Due to budgetary concerns we had to model our Program after ObamaCare. The Union dues are collected for the first six years and the Benefit Package is phased in over the next four years after that.

I can assure you Comrades that like ObamaCare the Package will be well worth the wait. Yes indeed, you are all going to love it. We worked day, night and well into the wee hours of the morning to formulate the best benefits for our membership.

As always, we will gladly accept any complaints or concerns you may have about our new Union and it's programs. We have conveniently located the necessary forms and Complaints Mailbox in the Headquarters Courtyard, right in front of the southernmost brick wall.

Comrades, comrades - why has no one brought up the intrinsic collektive deliciousness of unions???


Or their relationship to Dear Leader???

It nearly makes me cry just thinking about it, but unions are SO important.

They are ROUND like Dear Leader's logo (surely not a coincidence):


They are SOOOOO yummy:


And, perhaps most importantly, they go so well with The Peoples' Burger™!:


I have no idea why the Bushitlerite Teabaggers are so upset about the Unions - have they no taste???

That burger looks like it's about ready to confess something... hmmm.

Grigori E.R. wrote:Brothers and Sisters,
No one received the memo? Something really needs to be done about inter-Cube communication. Ahem, "We the People's Cube" already have a Union. With membership, enrollment in our Union is automatic. The reason no one has noticed is that the Benefit Package does not appear immediately. Due to budgetary concerns we had to model our Program after ObamaCare. The Union dues are collected for the first six years and the Benefit Package is phased in over the next four years after that.

I can assure you Comrades that like ObamaCare the Package will be well worth the wait. Yes indeed, you are all going to love it. We worked day, night and well into the wee hours of the morning to formulate the best benefits for our membership.

As always, we will gladly accept any complaints or concerns you may have about our new Union and it's programs. We have conveniently located the necessary forms and Complaints Mailbox in the Headquarters Courtyard, right in front of the southernmost brick wall.

Our most glorious Comrade, you are filled with correctness that our Memo Czar should be considered for replacement (! spit!) but I must add, I believe the discussion was regarding yet another Union which would include lowly proles and not simply ourselves, the glorious elite bloggers of the Cube. We must reach out to the little people, should we not? (I know it is a bit disgusting to ponder, but it needs to be done)

Sorry.

I thought the thread was about "The Magic of Unicorns."

I must see somebody atoub my lysdexia.

Comrade Blogunov,

Since you have already created this post praising the wonders and the glory of public sector unions, I want to be opportunistic take this opportunity to remind my fellow Workers For The Cause™ some of the wonderful academic acheivements these salt-of-the-earth middle-class heros have brought to us—and the Children™.

As we all know, our brothers and sisters proudly wearing the public sector union label have been getting a very bad rap by Rethuglicans who want to bring about real and honest change their version of Hoplessness and Status Quo™.

Comrades,

The main theme of these two videos is called "A Paradox: Teaching Children How To Be Oxymorons".

Here is the Childrens Chorale™ singing in a school by you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FO3NBqT ... r_embedded

Lyrics
========
Song 1:
Mm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said that all must lend a hand
To make this country strong again
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said we must be fair today
Equal work means equal pay
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said that we must take a stand
To make sure everyone gets a chance
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

He said red, yellow, black or white
All are equal in his sight
Mmm, mmm, mm!
Barack Hussein Obama

Yes!
Mmm, mmm, mm
Barack Hussein Obama

Song 2:
Hello, Mr. President we honor you today!
For all your great accomplishments, we all doth say “hooray!”

Hooray, Mr. President! You're number one!
The first black American to lead this great nation!

Hooray, Mr. President we honor your great plans
To make this country's economy number one again!

Hooray Mr. President, we're really proud of you!
And we stand for all Americans under the great Red, White, and Blue!

So continue —- Mr. President we know you'll do the trick
So here's a hearty hip-hooray —-

Hip, hip hooray!
Hip, hip hooray!
Hip, hip hooray!
~
This song is entitled, "My Field Trip to the Capital"



TEACHER: (rotunda echo) Show me what Democracy looks like!

STUDENTS: This is what democracy looks like!

TEACHER: Show me what Democracy looks like!

STUDENTS: This is what democracy looks like!

TEACHER: Whose house?

STUDENTS: Our house!

TEACHER: Whose house?

STUDENTS: Our house!

TEACHER: Whose house?

STUDENTS: Our house!

TEACHER: Whose house?

STUDENTS: Our house!

TEACHER: Whose house?

STUDENTS: Our house!

ALL: Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Scott Walker has got to go! Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Scott Walker has got to go! Hey, hey! Ho, ho! Scott Walker has got to go!

It's an easy mistake to make Dear Leader Obamugabe. Unicorns, Onions and Unions are all closely related.

Ahhh, the little Obamanation Childrens. They are sooooo precious. Thank you Comrade Whinny.

Yes it all brings tears to our eyes.

I like sour cream and union chips when I can get them at the state store. Quite frankly I'm disgusted that there isn't equal representation in snack foods. I demand an onion union! And I'll join this blogger's union. In fact, I demand a universal union than encompasses all other unions, with mandatory voluntary membership. That way nobody is left unrepresented.

And of course Ogres are like Unions

These are worth a look for inspiration. We need a catchy Bloggers' Union song...

How exiting. I half offtin thoughts of becoming a righter but culd never find an employer willing to higher myself. With a Union I could reelize mine dream and leave the dustbowl gloryus collective on which we grew the noble beet stable. I understood also that as a card carry member of Union that I may have the opportunity to shovel teabaggers enimees of the state over their hayeds, drink two tymes vodka ration and work halve as much for more script? Pinch me, I'm stupidfied.

---

Welcome Comrade Pavlovski,

I do hope that bolt is Union made. Anyway, you need to sign up right away Comrade. Please see Komissar Blogunov. He has all the necessary forms for you to fill out. Pay no attention to the 2,000 + pages of our Union's Rules and Regulations, it's all just the standard stuff that really doesn't matter.

Comrades,
See, SEE! Just look at the poor man. This is sooo typical of non-Union workers. Victims of Capitalist oppression all. Thank Obama we are here to help him. We need that catchy Bloggers' Union song and we need it NOW!

Look FOR the Un-ion lo-bo...!