The People's Cube - Political Satire

Annual May Day Communiqué From Laika:

To the Peasants, Workers, Toiling Laborers, and the Party Privileged!

Greetings from Comrade Zero, The Many Titted Empress and Global Presence, Chairfrau Wasserman “I know nothing, I see nothing” Schultz, Commissar Reid, Sheik bin-Laden, Organizers, Agitators, Launderers, The Islamic Brotherhood, Al Qaeda, Hugo Chavez, Fidel & Raul, our financial overlord, Hu Jintao, and The Most Merciful Kim Jong Il. Please forgive me if I've forgotten anybody, like Nancy Pelosi, who will be airbrushed & photo shopped out of history if the Party™ marks another setback in the House elections like 2010, but which are certainly appreciated in all of our many class struggles with the running chain dogs of Capitalism, especially the evil George W. Bush (pause…crowd shakes fists in required two minutes of hate) and his Gang of Four; Boehner, Ryan, Glenn Beck (hissssss!) and the witch, Sarah Palin! (crowd chants “Burn her! Burn her!)

Today marks the passing of another glorious year in the triumphant march of Progressive Socialism! The Glorious World of Next Tuesday™ which is now ours MUST stay ours. If it is ours to stay, you must be IN. I ask you now Comrades, are you IN? Comrade Bill Clinton once stated

“It depends upon what the meaning of “is” is.” Can I assure you “is” it ours? It is if you're IN. All others must pack one suitcase, dress warmly and report to platform 86 at the train station. There is plenty of room in the GULAG for those who are not IN. (stunned silence as the crowd nervously looks around at each other)

Why IN? Simply because the campaign slogan HOPE consists of 4 alphabetical letters. CHANGE has 6! Scientific study and all the latest polling results show Americans are confused by such big words as Hope & Change in this upcoming election. They actually believed these words had meaning. (crowd snickers with derision) Our inside mole sources in the fascist Republican Party have told us they plan on using foolish phrases like “fiscal responsibility”, “accountability”, and their shop worn “strong defense”. Just what is a “fiscal” anyway? I don't believe I've ever seen a fiscal or know what a fiscal looks like! Neither do the unwashed masses! (much laughter) Just think of how we'll be saving the planet just by being IN….less ink for slogan placards, less calories being burned for thought processes, less thoughtcrimes period. Once and for all, we will save the planet, reducing carbon emissions, simply by making “thought” itself a crime. Less thinkers, less thoughts, less carbon dioxide emissions, problem solved.

Now, who is IN?

(crowd roars “We ARE!”)

Good, very good. I am proud of all of you.

It's been another great year, keep up the good work and enjoy your one and only holiday!

The Hero Space Dog of Socialism,
Laika

Just In:
A special pod just landed here at the NC Kollective:

I hereby declare Commissarka Pinkie as Queen of this years festivities. In commemoration of this glorious event, we of the People's Cube, do present the most caring and loyal member, Commissarka Pinkie with a matching set of gold and platinum shovels.

The Hero Space Dog of Socialism,
Laika

Commodore Snoogie Woogums' most glorious graphic:

Comrade Rasputin is hereby awarded the OOL. Grigori has done a fine job of making this May Day, May Day......May Day? Can you read me, over? May Day, I repeat, May Day!...oops. Transmitting interference. Phew...not enough petrol to roll the tanks and parade the missiles but we have bling, medals, and fruit salad for everybody...and an extra beet and a pint of Everclear for every Comrade!

FooxUp Newz is distorting the fact that OBL is now dead. Whoraldo was bouncing off the floor,
and came closest to an on stage climax or soiling himself with all the self generated excitement! Claiming this was the greatest day of his career, considering the source, it may very well be! This should be the equivalent of opening the Capone vault in Chicago to find nothing!

Old Bull Orally brought him on board to be a "moderate" influence to the heavy left team of distorters. He has certainly put the W in Whacko!

I am slim! I am queen! But best of all, two glorious gleaming shovels for me! Thank you, Space Dog!

Two shovels, comrades! Double the whacking = double the fear.

I'm eating Ju-Jubes, thank zeus there aren't any pink ones in the bag, they are the foulest tasting ones of them all. BYE BYE cubically contained u.s.s.a of ewe-brews.

Am I late? I rushed back from Pakistan as fast as I could (I didn't think I'd ever lose those SEALS who were chasing me). Phew! Close call.

Anyway, I'm back. Yuck! What's that smell? Is there a bushel of rotten beets stashed around here? Oh wait, I see, Pinkie took her boots off. Nevermind.

Nice job with the pics Grigori and Snoogie. Laika, the awards and bling were greatly appreciated. I'll wear them with pride. It's a shame an otherwise glorious May Day was spoiled by that cowboy Obama and his saber rattling.

Whoopie...we were worried! You saved the Sheik, correct? It's all a Bush and Cheney ruse. The real Obama would never do this. We believe Obama's been kidnapped and there's an Obama double in the White House.

Laika, you may be right, I noticed that Dear Leader is starting to resemble Bush wearing brown shoe polish.

As for UBL, last time I saw him he was bravely preparing for martyrdom by ducking and weaving behind his wife and son. Since he wasn't using his trademark little AK-47 I grabbed it and jumped out the window (I was thinking of giving it to the Col. for his birthday...shhh, it's a surprise).

Laika,
Thank you for the award. I will treasure it.

Maybe another reason for Dear Leader's strange behavior? Dear Leader's home State of Hawaii was a hot bed for mind control research in the 50's, 60's, 70's and still continues today. Childhood programming activated by neuro-linguistic commands? That would explain a lot.

Re: Commissarka Pinkie
"Two shovels, comrades! Double the whacking = double the fear."
It's going to be very hard to duck two shovels at once. Her skill with just one is legendary. She's like the Lone Wolf Shogun's Assassin, with a shovel instead of Samurai Sword. Now two? It's a good thing we have ObamaCare. We're going to need it.

Grigori E.R. wrote: Maybe another reason for Dear Leader's strange behavior? Dear Leader's home State of Hawaii was a hot bed for mind control research in the 50's, 60's, 70's and still continues today. Childhood programming activated by neuro-linguistic commands? That would explain a lot.

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]
It would indeed. It has been mentioned he was an MK Ultra "Star Kid".