5/23/2011, 9:12 pm
No, not THAT kind of love, Comrades. Yes, Her Equalness is in charge of comforting, but I have another duty based on years oftorturing psychiatric experience.
And I now hereby declare the opening of our own Ministry of Love, where the thoughtcriminal and political deviant will be treated in a manner conducive to their re-edukation rehabilitation and return as f...'d up functional members of the Kollektive ™. The new building assigned to Miniluv, in the Soviet District of Detroit in the Republik of Michigan, is, as you can see, of highly efficient design made with all recycled materials.
Each deluxe room will come complete with a picture of Dear Leader Obama, a comfortable slab bed, and a camera to record all actions of the patient to ensure proper behavior and treatment. Oh, and bars. The place has a comfortable recreation room, a salt mine garden to encourage robust exercise and activity, and to give the patients a sense that they are still contributing to the good of the Kollektive, even though they are locked up in a nuthouse temporarily protected from the cares of the world in a therapeutic environment.
The jewel of the Ministry, however, is located on the first level.
Room 101 is a state-of-the-art psychiatric interview setting, with a one way mirror, adjustable lighting (glaring or none), climate control, restraints, a pharmaceutical chest with all the latest anti-psychotic medication. Our intention is for Room 101 to house our new exposure therapy department.
GREAT, YOUR EQUALNESS!!! HOW DO I REFER A PATIENT TO THE MINISTRY OF LOVE? So glad you asked, Comrade. Any citizen can make a referral, and is encouraged to do so. The most telltale signs of psychiatric illness are 1) disagreeing with the principals of enlightened leftism and Marx and 2) believing one is perfectly sane while professing such beliefs. If you know someone who fits the above discription, you should, of course, denounce them. But in addition to this, keep in mind that these individuals are sick. They must be treated with disrespect and accusations patience and therapeutic kindness, which is what the Ministry represents. In general, a person can sign themselves in voluntarily for treatment. But we usually will trick themmake a decision to hospitalize them involuntary anyway, because it's easier for us, and because we're afraid they'll change their mind.
SOUNDS EXCITING YOUR EQUALNESS!!! CAN I JOIN YOU IN YOUR WORK AT THE MINISTRY OF LOVE? As a matter of fact, we are hiring new staff at this very minute. Due to the wisdom of Obama's economic policies, which include these new federal jobs, however, there is a lot of competition from people in Michigan. But go ahead and send submit your resume here, and fill out the attached application. I promise to immediately throw it awayperuse it carefully and file it for any future time that we need to replace burned out retired staff.
Application for Ministry of LoveCONTACT INFORMATION Name Street Address City ST ZIP Code phone Party Membership Number E-Mail Address AVAILABILITY During which hours are you available for work assignments? Weekday morningsWeekend mornings Weekday afternoonsWeekend afternoons Weekday eveningsWeekend evenings INTERESTS Tell us in which areas you are interested in working InterrogationDiagnosis of political deviantsRecreational activities (must have good marksmanship in order to ensure discipline among patients)Organization of Demonstrations of Appreciation for Party ActionsPatient management (once again, marksmanship is important here)Art therapyPropagandaMine management SPECIAL SKILLS OR QUALIFICATIONSSummarize special skills and qualifications you have acquired from employment, previous volunteer work, or through other activities, including hobbies or sports. Be sure to include any experience you have in mental health, mining, interrogation, mainstream media work (especially under Keith Olbermann or Michael Moore), lobbying for Fairness Doctrine and other enhancements of the Bill of Wrongs, and Exposure Therapy.
And I now hereby declare the opening of our own Ministry of Love, where the thoughtcriminal and political deviant will be treated in a manner conducive to their re-edukation rehabilitation and return as f...'d up functional members of the Kollektive ™. The new building assigned to Miniluv, in the Soviet District of Detroit in the Republik of Michigan, is, as you can see, of highly efficient design made with all recycled materials.
Each deluxe room will come complete with a picture of Dear Leader Obama, a comfortable slab bed, and a camera to record all actions of the patient to ensure proper behavior and treatment. Oh, and bars. The place has a comfortable recreation room, a salt mine garden to encourage robust exercise and activity, and to give the patients a sense that they are still contributing to the good of the Kollektive, even though they are locked up in a nuthouse temporarily protected from the cares of the world in a therapeutic environment.
The jewel of the Ministry, however, is located on the first level.
Room 101 is a state-of-the-art psychiatric interview setting, with a one way mirror, adjustable lighting (glaring or none), climate control, restraints, a pharmaceutical chest with all the latest anti-psychotic medication. Our intention is for Room 101 to house our new exposure therapy department.
GREAT, YOUR EQUALNESS!!! HOW DO I REFER A PATIENT TO THE MINISTRY OF LOVE? So glad you asked, Comrade. Any citizen can make a referral, and is encouraged to do so. The most telltale signs of psychiatric illness are 1) disagreeing with the principals of enlightened leftism and Marx and 2) believing one is perfectly sane while professing such beliefs. If you know someone who fits the above discription, you should, of course, denounce them. But in addition to this, keep in mind that these individuals are sick. They must be treated with disrespect and accusations patience and therapeutic kindness, which is what the Ministry represents. In general, a person can sign themselves in voluntarily for treatment. But we usually will trick themmake a decision to hospitalize them involuntary anyway, because it's easier for us, and because we're afraid they'll change their mind.
SOUNDS EXCITING YOUR EQUALNESS!!! CAN I JOIN YOU IN YOUR WORK AT THE MINISTRY OF LOVE? As a matter of fact, we are hiring new staff at this very minute. Due to the wisdom of Obama's economic policies, which include these new federal jobs, however, there is a lot of competition from people in Michigan. But go ahead and send submit your resume here, and fill out the attached application. I promise to immediately throw it awayperuse it carefully and file it for any future time that we need to replace burned out retired staff.
Application for Ministry of LoveCONTACT INFORMATION Name Street Address City ST ZIP Code phone Party Membership Number E-Mail Address AVAILABILITY During which hours are you available for work assignments? Weekday morningsWeekend mornings Weekday afternoonsWeekend afternoons Weekday eveningsWeekend evenings INTERESTS Tell us in which areas you are interested in working InterrogationDiagnosis of political deviantsRecreational activities (must have good marksmanship in order to ensure discipline among patients)Organization of Demonstrations of Appreciation for Party ActionsPatient management (once again, marksmanship is important here)Art therapyPropagandaMine management SPECIAL SKILLS OR QUALIFICATIONSSummarize special skills and qualifications you have acquired from employment, previous volunteer work, or through other activities, including hobbies or sports. Be sure to include any experience you have in mental health, mining, interrogation, mainstream media work (especially under Keith Olbermann or Michael Moore), lobbying for Fairness Doctrine and other enhancements of the Bill of Wrongs, and Exposure Therapy.
