The People's Cube - Political Satire

48 years ago today, on June 16, 1963 Valentina Tereshkova piloted the Soviet spacecraft Vostok 6, becoming the first woman in space. Later she also became a prominent member of the Communist Party, holding various political offices. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, she retired from politics, but remains revered as a hero in post-Soviet Russia.

You can read the rest here. But here's a quote that caught our attention:

Wikipedia wrote:On this mission, lasting almost three days in space, she performed various tests on herself to collect data on the female body's reaction to spaceflight.

I'm sure Chairman Punchenko and Anthony Weiner would have loved to know more about the selfless sacrifice of the young Cosmonaut's womanhood to the cause of advancing the Progressive World of Next Tuesday. If anyone has additional information, do share!

I was able to recover this classified photo from the Motherland's secret archives.

And here's a closeup:

How about the effects of zero gravity on sagging boobs?

Think of the Breasts-Not-Bombs crowd floating around inside a space station, and suddenly they look pretty damn hot to you, don't they?

In fact, that might explain why the comics tend to portray women in space as having big torpedo-style hooters that stick out like that big, long, hard thing Tereshkova holds erect in the picture above.

You read those comics and you fantasize about traveling into space, winning one of these women for yourself, then bringing her back to your world to be your sex slave.

What they never tell you is when you come back down to Earth . . . alas, so do her boobs.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Think of the Breasts-Not-Bombs crowd floating around inside a space station, and suddenly they look pretty damn hot to you, don't they?

Commissarka, I can speak for no one but myself (although for sufficient ration of beets we could discuss other possibilities), but the B-Not-B crowd has always seemed hot to me.

And just think about the possible effects of zero gravity on armpit hair in space!! Oh my...

I am indeed most interested in Soviet People's Hero, Valentina Tereshkova. I am, I should admit, more interested in her advanced age more so than I would be when she was young, nubile, and experimental.


Tell us, Comrade Red Square -- does Russia have a generous Medicare and Social Security system as we do here in the States? Just how much is a People's Hero of the Soviet Union really worth these days? 2 million rubles? Perhaps 10 million rubles?

I have just had a brainstorm! (Trust me, I know what those feel like.) We have our first Black president, right? And he has been accomplishing a number of Black presidential firsts, right? First Black president to play more than 80 rounds of golf, first Black president to ride on Air Force One, first Black president to eat a ham sandwich, and so on. How about this for an October surprise:

FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT IN SPACE!

To make it even better, we could wait until after the last shuttle flight and send him up via a Russian booster to the International Space Station. Think about the multicultural signifigance of such an event!

Ivan Betinov wrote:I have just had a brainstorm! (Trust me, I know what those feel like.) We have our first Black president, right? And he has been accomplishing a number of Black presidential firsts, right? First Black president to play more than 80 rounds of golf, first Black president to ride on Air Force One, first Black president to eat a ham sandwich, and so on. How about this for an October surprise:

FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT IN SPACE!

To make it even better, we could wait until after the last shuttle flight and send him up via a Russian booster to the International Space Station. Think about the multicultural signifigance of such an event!

*soils pants!*

You honor me, Chairman.

I beg to differ with the Commissarka. Her image of weightless boob bombers just doesn't hold up to science. Sure, what sagged before would rise....until they reached the end of their tether when they would bounce down and repeat this scenario for as long as the female was weightless. Now grant it, one could probably hook up some generator to these oscillating boobs for the space craft, but would we really want to take this chance? Nyet I say!

I will confess to my one and only female fantasy in space. She is....



Perfect proportions, and such an egalitarian hair-do! Power to the People!

Comrade Betinov, I join in celebration of your brilliance for Obama as the First Black President in space....but then what if he were to become the first black president Lost in Space? Are you trying to put him in harms way Comrade?

Not at all comrade marshal! Why, space travel is so safe, I would even suggest that he take the lovely First Lady with him.

The thought of lax old boobies bouncing around like paddle balls makes me space sick.

Wow...they'd be like futon torpedoes....

Assuming I am flying solo, what are the effects of gravity after my rocket releases it's payload?

Newton states that what comes up must come down, was he right? Is there somewhere I can go to test this hypothesis?

Newton states that what comes up must come down, was he right? Is there somewhere I can go to test this hypothesis?

Why, I think the President's popularity polls provide ample proof of this hypothesis (Is there anything he can't do?)

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Comrade Betinov, I join in celebration of your brilliance for Obama as the First Black President in space....but then what if he were to become the first black president Lost in Space? Are you trying to put him in harms way Comrade?

Ivan Betinov wrote:

Newton states that what comes up must come down, was he right? Is there somewhere I can go to test this hypothesis?

Why, I think the President's popularity polls provide ample proof of this hypothesis (Is the anything he can't do?)

No No No Comrade Ivan, this is what I had in mind!

Red Square wrote:48 years ago today, on June 16, 1963 Valentina Tereshkova piloted the Soviet spacecraft Vostok 6, becoming the first woman in space. Later she also became a prominent member of the Communist Party, holding various political offices. After the collapse of the Soviet Union, she retired from politics, but remains revered as a hero in post-Soviet Russia.

You can read the rest here. But here's a quote that caught our attention:

Wikipedia wrote:On this mission, lasting almost three days in space, she performed various tests on herself to collect data on the female body's reaction to spaceflight.

I'm sure Chairman Punchenko and Anthony Weiner would have loved to know more about the selfless sacrifice of the young Cosmonaut's womanhood to the cause of advancing the Progressive World of Next Tuesday. If anyone has additional information, do share!

My files reflect little of Comrade Valentina but do show record of Comrade Weinerella being on board the mission and charged with the flights hose handling and hose handling documentation.

Carried out flawlessly I might add.

Mission Control - you sure wind speed is at acceptable level to reach escape velocity for historic mission?

48 years ago today, on June 16, 1963 Valentina Tereshkova piloted the Soviet spacecraft Vostok 6, becoming the first woman in space. That is what Wikipedia told you. What they left out was this. She launched the ship as soon as she remembered where she put the keys to the spaceship. They were in her other purse.

My humble addition to the thread.