The People's Cube - Political Satire

You heard me comrades! Marshal Pupovich is outraged today, just like most days....

But imagine the outrage I felt today when I discovered these 2 stories that clearly indicate a complete breakdown of security!

First there was this completely bone-headed error that was made right on the White House official site for Lenin's sake!

"As a consequence of that swift, decisive, and sometimes difficult period, we were able to take an economy that was shrinking by about 6 percent and create an economy that is now growing, and has grown steadily now over many consecutive quarters. Over the last 15 months we've created over 2.1 million private sector jobs. (Laughter.)"

Who in the %*#^ ^@)# allowed this to happen must less show it in print? Heads must roll for this comrades! Laughing at Obama talking of the millions and millions of jobs he has created? My outrage is boiling comrades!

Then I run across this further outrage!

South African President Snubs Michelle Obama!

It seems the S African president was too busy to meet with the First of all First Ladies, and then highlighted his treason by sending the Minister of Prisons and one, only one mind you, of his THREE wives!

Socialist blood boils comrades! What to do? Speak out!

Comrade Pup,

Calm yourself! Maybe they are talking about job growth in the only sector that matters, the Public Sector of the economy!

Marshall Pupovich, you must have gotten off of work before I could to respond in such a timely manner.

First, Laughter. Is there no respect for authority anymore? When Dear Leader speaks he is to be admired and applauded. Nothing else. With the exception of chanting "yes we can" when authorized.

(Unless Laugher was written into the script and the audience was directed to laugh on cue, thus demonstrating that Dear Leader (PBUH) is both clever AND humorous--in which case it was absolutely brilliant).


Next, this South African business: MooChele is acting on behalf of the First Dad who has Golf summits that prevent him from travelling. Truly such diplomatic snubbery is offensive and elitist. Do they not understand that MooChele is conducting a STATE visit? Summer vacations can be taken anywhere yet Sasha and Malia chose South Africa, their ancestral homeland (perhaps on somebody's side, somewhere...) and thier Mom just didn't load the mini-van for a trip to the zoo! NYET! This is a STATE VISIT for YOUTH OUTREACH!!! The Safari is for OFFICIAL PURPOSES ONLY!

I say that the President of South Africa does NOT get the autographed copy of the new food chart, OR the IPOD with Michele's speeches (which for the first time would make her proud to be of African Descent). And the kids don't have to share their O-Force One Coloring Books.

So there.

Comrade Marshall,

Calm yourself. That communique came from the Ministry of Truth itself. You have interpreted the laughter all wrong. The laughter is not at Supreme Uber Comrade Obama, but at the ridiculousness of the statement. It is a joke, and the underlings responded appropriately. Think of it in this way:
When we, the Party Elite, pull up in our stretch limos, jump out and violently confiscate other peoples money, what is our response to those proles who dare challenge us before they get a jack boot in the face? Hmmm? It is approved Party Response to Proles Regarding Confiscation of Assets No. 4652. Everyone say it with me, "We are talking your money to redistribute it to those who need it more than you do. Be happy that you are giving it up for a better society!"
Then of course we climb back into our limo and then giggle uncontrollably at the absurdity of that statement for we know that the money we just liberated is going to fuel our alcohol and hooker binge we are about to embark upon.
If there is an error it is that apparently you stumbled upon archives meant for Elite Party members only, not that you are not among our circle comrade, but you should not have been able to access it from the common prole White House site. Maybe you were looking at the Party site and not the Prole one? If not then a purge is in order for the subversive who is trying to subvert the subversive policies we have implemented to subvert the capitalist subversives!!!

As for the soon to be ex South African president. Simply dispatch Chairman Meow to conduct an 'audit' of his financials to ensure that they are in accordance to Party directives. He will never be heard from again....

O'Brien

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Marshal Pup,

Surely this "laughter" has been taken out of context.

I'm sure they weren't laughing at our most illustrious Dear Leader—and his solid creation of over 2.1 million jobs with almost a trillion dollars of Stimulus Money™ since he acquired the Whitehouse throne—any more than those YouTube videos showing him... "laughing" during the "shovel-ready jobs" comment remarking how the "shovel-ready jobs weren't really 'shovel-ready'". His little chuckle during the remark was just as misinterpreted as this "laughter" is being misinterpreted now.

Dear Leader's sheepish chuckle over the "shovel-ready jobs" remark was taken out of context and was being used by reichwing rethuglikans to try to smear the compassionate intent of The One just as much as this showing of joyous "laughter" is also being taken out of context.

What was really meant by this "laughter" is an outward showing of joy and admiration—a collective emotional outburst of knee-jerk progressive gLee. They were "laughing" with Dear Leader in support of his great and glorious accomplishments for the People™.

Let us also laugh with Dear Leader and share in the joy of his great accomplishments! 2.1 million "shovel-ready jobs that are not really shovel-ready", and a growing economy by any unionized public skool standard of -.05 is really something to laugh about and rejoice over!

Comrade Pup.They were not laughing at the Dear Leader, they were laughing with him.

El Presidente wrote:Comrade Pup.They were not laughing at the Dear Leader, they were laughing with him.

Yes, that's it, they were laughing with him...laughing at him.

I tell you what, I'm so angry I'm fixing to start a drumming circle.

Comrade O'Brien, Praise Stalin, I am feeling much relieved this evening. While I appreciate what you suggested, along with the other comments by comrades, it has been revealed what was the cause of the seemingly scandalous "laughter" during the Obama speech. No Comrade, it was not that I was erroneously viewing the official Party webpage while thinking I was on the page intended for the proles.

The White House has corrected theJob Creation Laughter Transcript. It was. as it is known technically, a "Flub," which as you know is a code word for Found Leftover Undercover Bushie. Yes, this "laughter" did not occur at all! It was allegedly entered "by accident" instead of the correct "wild applause." Needless to say, the individual in question, "the Flub," will also be taken care of..."by accident."

Then as if that wasn't enough to set my black socialist heart to rest and my evening be made as near perfect as possible, I discovered that one of our atheist comrades, and outstanding progressive humanist, has created yet another Bible...The Good Book - A Humanist Bible! Of course, this is only useful for those who have not been approved to read our very own People's Bible. A.C. Grayling has created "a non-religious Bible, drawn from the wealth of secular literature and philosophy in both Western and Eastern traditions, using the same techniques of editing, redaction, and adaptation that produced the holy books of the Judaeo-Christian and Islamic religions."

Can't you just smell the smell of Progress comrades?

Now I am sad to say that we still have not seen a proper apology for the snub in South Africa of the First of All First Ladies. Therefore I agree with you Comrade O'Brien, we should send the Chairman there to "audit" them....that would no doubt be quite productive for the Chairman, and bring some closure.