The People's Cube - Political Satire

ABC News' Devin Dwyer wrote: No gifts, please. Just your name will do.

That's the message President Obama's re-election campaign is pushing in an elaborate nationwide effort to expand the president's grassroots network on his 50th birthday.
While aides plan a glitzy Aug. 3 fundraiser-bashfor Obama at Chicago's Aragon Ballroom, organizers are encouraging thousands of supporters who can't attend to plan and host house parties of their own.

The campaign has rolled out a website dedicated to promoting the parties -- and a glossy 4-page, step-by-step guide that instructs would-be hosts on everything from “recruiting” attendees to electronically relaying participants' personal information back to headquarters.

Who should be invited? “At least 50” friends and neighbors.

Where should it be held? “A quiet and focused place to talk and organize.”

When should it start? “Sometime between 6:30 PM and 6:45 PM ET.”

Aides say Obama will deliver a live video message to house party attendees that will stream over the internet on hosts' computers once the events are underway.

They're also offering help with decorations, selling special “host packs” of birthday hats, buttons, balloons, stickers and signs, all emblazoned with a giant 5-0, “Happy Birthday,” and the campaign's official logo.

And, don't forget to snap a picture, they say. “We're collecting hundreds of photos from house parties across the country and will display them for President Obama at his house party in Chicago.”

Corporeal Whinny wrote:Buffoon,

How about a special edition '50th' commemorative boot for Dear Leader's small, obtuse head?

ABC News' Devin Dwyer wrote: No gifts, please. Just your name will do.

That's the message President Obama's re-election campaign is pushing in an elaborate nationwide effort to expand the president's grassroots network on his 50th birthday.
While aides plan a glitzy Aug. 3 fundraiser-bashfor Obama at Chicago's Aragon Ballroom, organizers are encouraging thousands of supporters who can't attend to plan and host house parties of their own.

The campaign has rolled out a website dedicated to promoting the parties -- and a glossy 4-page, step-by-step guide that instructs would-be hosts on everything from “recruiting” attendees to electronically relaying participants' personal information back to headquarters.

Who should be invited? “At least 50” friends and neighbors.

Where should it be held? “A quiet and focused place to talk and organize.”

When should it start? “Sometime between 6:30 PM and 6:45 PM ET.”

Aides say Obama will deliver a live video message to house party attendees that will stream over the internet on hosts' computers once the events are underway.

They're also offering help with decorations, selling special “host packs” of birthday hats, buttons, balloons, stickers and signs, all emblazoned with a giant 5-0, “Happy Birthday,” and the campaign's official logo.

And, don't forget to snap a picture, they say. “We're collecting hundreds of photos from house parties across the country and will display them for President Obama at his house party in Chicago.”

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Buffoon: Congratulations. She's a cutie.

Red Square wrote:Happy Obama's Birthday to Buffoon and his gender-neutral family unit!

El Presidente wrote:A "gift" for Dear Leader? I gave at the office. Four years of my life.

El Presidente wrote:A "gift" for Dear Leader? I gave at the office. Four years of my life.

Comrade Buffoon wrote:

El Presidente wrote:A "gift" for Dear Leader? I gave at the office. Four years of my life.

only four years?

El Presidente wrote:

Comrade Buffoon wrote:

El Presidente wrote:A "gift" for Dear Leader? I gave at the office. Four years of my life.

only four years?

It is not the quantity but the quality, Comrade. They are the best four years of my life.

Who is a notorious not give it your aller... and a suspected tea party sympathizer...!
One cannot be too sure these days..

Comrade Whoopie wrote:What!? Is it his birthday again? He just had one a year ago.
(Ahhh, what I meant to say is, isn't it a shame he can't have two or three each year about this time.)

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:On a related note, I VERY highly recommend Ann Coulter's new book, "Demonic". It's essentially about how mobs think and work, with a lot of references to Gustave Le Bon's classic "The Crowd: A Study of the Popular Mind", written in 1895, and a very eye opening and detailed comparison between the American and French revolutions.

It's a must read. It's not the usual delightfully sarcastic Ann (although there are sprinklings throughout), it's a serious study and history of how mobs think and how that applies directly to what's going on today. Get it.

And I vehemently denounce myself for even suggesting such a thing. I'm off to JiffyLobo™!

Bring 50 new people into this campaign in time for the President's 50th
birthday. Choose one or any combination of the organizing activities below—we'll
track your progress for you after you register. Once you get to 50, you'll
automatically be given a chance to be one of four supporters who will join the
President for a birthday celebration in Chicago next month.

Four (4) winners will each receive the following prize package (the "Trip"):

• One round-trip coach-class airplane ticket from the major airport closest
to the winner's address within the continental United States to Chicago,
Illinois, including ground transportation to and from the airport. (approximate
retail value $800.00)
• One night's stay for winner at a hotel in Chicago on
August 3, 2011 in a single-occupancy room or room of equivalent value
(approximate retail value $150);
• Admittance to a birthday celebration in
honor of President Barack Obama in Chicago on August 3, 2011 (approximate retail
value $200.00);
Approximate retail value of the each entire Trip package:
$1,050.00.
Sponsor will choose, in its sole discretion, the airline, hotel,
flight dates, flight times, departure city and airport and other Trip logistics
and details. Dates of travel are subject to availability. If winner's address is
within 100 miles of Chicago, Sponsor may, in its sole discretion, provide ground
transportation to the Trip hotel or event in lieu of an airplane ticket. Except
as expressly set forth in the description of the Trip above, each winner is
responsible for his/her ground transportation to and from the airports and
hotel, all meals and all other expenses that such winner incurs in connection
with the Trip. Sponsor will also determine, in its sole discretion, the date,
location, attendees, and all other relevant details of the birthday celebration.

(a) Complete a Total of Fifty of Volunteer Actions Method: To enter via this
method an individual must complete a combination of fifty (50) "Actions" during
the Promotion Period and in accordance with the following rules and procedures.
Each additional fifty Actions taken by an individual after the first fifty
Actions will constitute an additional entry in the Promotion. In order for any
Action to count towards the required number of Actions, an individual must first
sign up for the Promotion using the form available here:
https://my.barackobama.com/50for50. "Actions" means any of the following four
activities performed in accordance with the corresponding terms and conditions:

(i) Collect and Submit "I'm In" Written Commitments Action:
Each
individual "I'm In" written commitment collected and submitted to Sponsor during
the Promotion Period by an eligible individual constitutes a single "Action." An
individual may obtain "I'm In" Commitment cards or sign up forms from an
employee or agent of Sponsor, subject to availability, or by printing cards from
Sponsor's website, here: https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-cards. Individuals
must then circulate and have other individuals complete the "I'm In" cards or
forms in accordance with Sponsor's instructions, where applicable. Finally, the
individual must submit the information from the completed "I'm In" cards or
forms he or she has gathered to Sponsor by entering the information from the
cards according to the instructions here:
https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-cards (unless the individual is collecting
completed "I'm In" cards as part of an established program whereby the
information will be entered by into VAN and the individual is specifically
informed by their volunteer supervisor authorized by Sponsor that the "I'm In"
cards they collect will be attributed to them for purposes of the Promotion).
Any "I'm In" commitment that is forged, falsified, or obtained through
fraudulent or inappropriate means, or in violation of Sponsor's instructions may
be deemed invalid by Sponsor in its sole discretion and not counted towards the
required fifty (50) actions. Individuals are prohibited from offering other
individuals any compensation or any thing of value of any kind in exchange for
making an "I'm In" commitment.
(ii.) Collect and Submit "I'm In" Telephone
Commitments Action:
Each "I'm In" telephone commitment collected and
submitted to Sponsor during the Promotion Period via the Sponsor's call-tool by
an eligible individual constitutes a single "Action." An individual may collect
"I'm In" commitments via telephone by using the Sponsor's call tool available
here: https://call.barackobama.com. To collect valid "I'm In" commitments through
the telephone, an individual must follow all of the instructions at
https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-calls, call other individuals as prompted by
Sponsor's call tool, and enter the information concerning those individuals who
have committed to being "In" as prompted. Each valid "I'm In" commitment will be
counted towards the individual's total of 50 actions. Any "I'm In" commitment
that is forged, falsified, or obtained through fraudulent or inappropriate
means, or in violation of Sponsor's instructions may be deemed invalid by
Sponsor in its sole discretion and not counted towards the required fifty (50)
actions. Individuals are prohibited from offering other individuals any
compensation or any thing of value of any kind in exchange for making an "I'm
In" commitment.
(iii.) Collect Contributions from Contributors Through A
Grassroots Fundraising Page Action:
Each contribution from a unique
contributor that an eligible individuals accepts on his or her grassroots
fundraising page in accordance with the following terms and conditions during
the Promotion Period will constitute a single "Action" An individual must first
have or create a personal grassroots fundraising page on barackobama.com. If one
has not previously created a grassroots fundraising page, he or she may do so by
visiting: https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-contributions and following all of
the instructions. Next, one must register the grassroots fundraising page in the
Promotion. Using the same email address associated with the account, an
individual must sign up for the Promotion using the form available here:
https://my.barackobama.com/50for50. Next, individuals may ask others to
contribute to Sponsor via their grassroots fundraising pages. Each unique
contributor that contributes to an individual's grassroots fundraising page
during the Promotion Period will constitute a single "Action" and be counted
towards the required fifty (50) actions. If the same individual makes more than
one contribution to a single grassroots fundraising page during the Promotion
Period, that will only constitute a single "Action." Individuals may not offer
others any prize, consideration, or any thing of value whatsoever to others in
exchange for contributing to Sponsor via any grassroots fundraising page. All
use of individuals' grassroots fundraising pages and requests for others to
contribute to Sponsor via a grassroots fundraising page must be in accordance
with Sponsor's instructions, including those guidelines available at
https://www.barackobama.com/pdf/grassro ... Guidelines. Only
contributions from contributors that comply with federal law and Sponsor's
fundraising policies will be considered as part of this entry method. Sponsor
only accepts contributions of up to $2,500 from individuals per election.
Sponsor does not accept contributions in any amount from registered federal
lobbyists, registered foreign agents, federal political action committees, or
minors under the age of 16. Contributions in any amount from corporations, labor
organizations, national banks, federal contractors, and foreign nationals are
prohibited. Any contribution made from a contributor via a grassroots
fundraising page that is solicited or obtained through forgery, falsification,
fraud or other inappropriate means, or in violation of the law or Sponsor's
instructions may be deemed invalid by Sponsor in its sole discretion and not
counted towards the fifty (50) actions.
(iv.) Host Events with Attendees
Registered on BarackObama.com Action.
If an individual registered for the
Promotion sign's up to host an event during the Promotion Period in accordance
with the following terms and conditions, every unique individual that signs up
on barackobama.com to attend that event will constitute a single "Action." An
individual must first, during the Promotion Period, sign up to host a political
event or events concerning Sponsor at https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-RSVPs to
occur during Promotion Period. Each unique attendee that signs up on
barackobama.com indicating that they intend on attending at least one of these
events will count towards the individual's 50 actions. In order to be eligible,
events must comply with Sponsor's instructions and guidelines, including those
available at https://my.barackobama.com/grassrootsresources. Any registration for
an event that is forged, falsified, or obtained through fraudulent or
inappropriate means, or in violation of Sponsor's instructions, or any event
held in violation of the law or Sponsor's guidelines may be deemed invalid by
Sponsor in its sole discretion and not counted towards the an entry. Other than
refreshments, as discussed in Sponsors' guidelines on hosting events,
individuals are prohibited from offering other individuals any compensation or
any thing of value of any kind in exchange for registering to attend an event.

(b) Free Online Entry Method: To enter via the free online entry method without
having to take any Actions, visit https://my.barackobama.com/50for50-alt or other
landing page specifically identified by Sponsor and complete and submit the
online entry form during the Promotion Period.

You can also sign up for the chance to attend the President's birthday
celebration here without getting involved. But if you get the chance to meet
him, you'll have a lot more stories to tell him about how you've helped build
this campaign if you put in the time to bring 50 more people into it.

10. General Release. By entering the Promotion, you release Sponsor and all
Released Parties from any liability whatsoever, and waive any and all causes of
action, related to any claims, costs, injuries, losses, or damages of any kind
arising out of or in connection with the Promotion or delivery, misdelivery,
acceptance, possession, use of or inability to use any prize (including, without
limitation, claims, costs, injuries, losses and damages related to personal
injuries, death, damage to or destruction of property, rights of publicity or
privacy, defamation or portrayal in a false light, whether intentional or
unintentional), whether under a theory of contract, tort (including negligence),
warranty or other theory.

11. Use of Winner Name, Likeness, etc. Except where prohibited by law, entry
into the Promotion constitutes permission to use each winner's name, hometown,
likeness and/or prize information, without limitation, for promotional purposes
without further permission or compensation. As a condition of being awarded any
prize, except where prohibited by law, each winner may be required to execute a
consent to the use of his or her name, hometown, likeness and/or prize
information, without limitation, for promotional purposes without further
permission or compensation.

Sponsor reserves the right to disqualify any person from receiving any prize
based on such background check if Sponsor determines, in its sole discretion
that awarding any prize to such potential winner could result in a safety or
security risk to any person or persons or could result in the disruption of any
event associated with the Promotion.

All prizes are awarded "AS IS" and WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, express or
implied (including, without limitation, any implied warranty of merchantability
or fitness for a particular purpose).