Comrades, I must call your attention to the following article:
guardian.co.uk wrote:
It may not rank as the most compelling reason to curb greenhouse gases, but reducing our emissions might just save humanity from a pre-emptive alien attack, scientists claim.
Watching from afar, extraterrestrial beings might view changes in Earth's atmosphere as symptomatic of a civilisation growing out of control – and take drastic action to keep us from becoming a more serious threat, the researchers explain.
This highly speculative scenario is one of several described by scientists at Nasa and Pennsylvania State University that, while considered unlikely, they say could play out were humans and alien life to make contact at some point in the future.
(snip)
"A preemptive strike would be particularly likely in the early phases of our expansion because a civilisation may become increasingly difficult to destroy as it continues to expand. Humanity may just now be entering the period in which its rapid civilisational expansion could be detected by an ETI because our expansion is changing the composition of the Earth's atmosphere, via greenhouse gas emissions," the report states.
"Green" aliens might object to the environmental damage humans have caused on Earth and wipe us out to save the planet. "These scenarios give us reason to limit our growth and reduce our impact on global ecosystems. It would be particularly important for us to limit our emissions of greenhouse gases, since atmospheric composition can be observed from other planets," the authors write.
You will note the article clearly states that this scenario is speculative; sadly, this is not true. Comrades, I must inform you I have a contact who works at the very secret Area ?? (I cannot reveal its number because even he was not told it, that's how TOP SECRET this base is.) Anyway, he or she has informed me that the aliens are already on the way here to destroy us. Their armada left their home planet last November after the Rethuglicans stole enough House races to take over control. It was at this point that the ETs were sure that we would not fulfill Barack Obama's promise to them that we would pass Cap N' Trade (and Card Check, too - they're unionized aliens) but Cap N' Trade was the thing they wanted to see us pass, because that would convince them we were serious about reforming our greedy evil carbon-spewing ways. But of course, we stupid fools failed and so the aliens are now on their way here to destroy us. They would've been here by the end of July but they had saucer trouble near the exit ramp to Neptune and were delayed. That is why Obama was not bothering to pass a budget or raise the debt ceiling, he figured we would all be gone by Aug 2. But you know, sh*t happens, even to avenging green aliens who are also "green". Anyway, the timing of Obama's job creating bus tour is NOT coincidental, he wanted to take one last look around before... you know, time runs out for us. Don't worry, the ETs will spare him because he is such a great leader that some other planet, maybe a brighter one with no Tea Parties, will be able to make better use of him. The ETs will likely lift him and his bus onto their starship before blowing the rest of us away. If you see a big black two million dollar bus floating in the air toward a huge alien mothership, you'll know the end is just about here. Then we should all prepare to meet our doom.
What can I say, it's been nice knowing all of you. I'm sorry we failed you, Obama. Adios.
-Opiate of the People
8/19/2011, 8:55 am
Commissarka Pinkie
Oh, for crying out loud. These scientists just don't want to admit that they subjected themselves to the 2008 remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, and they stole the plot to redistribute their misery to the masses. They think since the movie bombed at the box office, then no one must have seen it, ergo no one will notice.
But I noticed because I happened to see that piece of crap a few months ago on the FOX HD movie channel, thus losing nearly three hours of my already pathetic life that I'll never get back, unless Colonel 7.62 can somehow recover them through one of his wormholes.
It's a 103 minute movie stretched out to an agonizing two and a half hours on aforementioned channel to make room for 10 minute commercial breaks every five minutes, thus preventing the average viewer from keeping up with the plot.*
It's about aliens who descend upon Earth to destroy humanity, because humans haven't been good stewards of the planet and are doing a lousy job of sorting papers from plastics, etc. Keanu Reeves (as Klaatu, and whoever told him he could act?) claims he can save everyone from being annihilated, but it'll mean Earth Hour every hour for eternity--no more electricity, we're back to the Stone Age. Yippee!
*That, or it's to allow environmentalist viewers extra time in the bathroom if they can't wait till the end of the movie for the huge spontaneous multiple orgasm they could otherwise enjoy upon learning Planet Earth is left with no more electrical power.
8/19/2011, 9:07 am
Jíbaro
Bah, if Aliens were to get rid of the Human race they would just invent a virus that would wipe out only Humans and for which there is no cure.
Come to think of it, that is how HIV works.
8/19/2011, 12:30 pm
Grigori E.R.
They're here! Actual footage from the People's Republic of San Franistan:
Grigori E.R. wrote:They're here! Actual footage from the People's Republic of San Franistan:
Swing looooooooooooooooow,
Sweet Chariooooooooooooooot,
Comin' for to carry me home!
All hail the God-State!
-KAM
8/19/2011, 5:15 pm
GAIA Minister Neytiri
Persevere, Comrades, take comfort from my GAIA Minister Neytiri Naked Truth Report on our progress in combatting human-caused Global Warming (Anthropogenic Global Warming for the real scientists in Rio Linda).
We are closer than ever to our goals-- Especially now that Mitt Romney and John Huntsman assure us they can rid the Tea-Party of Global-Warming Deniers. Thank GAIA for our Top-Flight NASA scientist in issuing this important warning for the masses.
--GAIA Minister Neytiri
8/19/2011, 7:22 pm
Ivan Betinov
Message received: in order to make sure that we are not wiped out by aliens that may or may not exist, and that may or may not be environmentalists if they DO exist, we need to revert to a pre-industrial subsistence agricultural level of existence. Perhaps we need to go back to being hunter-gatherers, for that matter.
Question: What if the aliens are like capitalists and intend to strip mine the planet for resources?
8/19/2011, 7:44 pm
Grigori E.R.
I agree Commissar Ivan. These aliens are most likely Capitalist's of the worst order. It takes big bucks or whatever they use for money to build star ships. A fair and balanced Socialist Society would never spend the People's wealth on such things.
8/19/2011, 11:00 pm
Fearless Leader
Grigori E.R. wrote:I agree Commissar Ivan. These aliens are most likely Capitalist's of the worst order. It takes big bucks or whatever they use for money to build star ships. A fair and balanced Socialist Society would never spend the People's wealth on such things.
My Dear Grigori,
You are so right and so insightful. The People's Wealth must never be spent on high-tech stuff spreading our disrespect for nature throughout the Cosmos. We must first create Utopia here on Earth before we dare step beyond. That's why it has been necessary for me to change NASA's mission from human exploration to servicing GAIA and building bridges to the Islamic World.
We also must save the Goriputians from ClimateGate:
--Fearless Leadeer
8/20/2011, 12:52 am
Opiate of the People
Ivan Betinov wrote:Message received: in order to make sure tat we are not wiped out by aliens that may or may not exist, and that may or may not be environmentalists if they DO exist, we need to revert to a pre-industrial subsistence agricultural level of existence. Perhaps we need to go back to being hunter-gatherers, for that matter.
Good thinking, comrade. We can all hunt for warehouses which distrubtute government cheese and then go gather it up.
Question: What if the aliens are like capitalists and intend to strip mine the planet for resources?
I think I saw this plot in a movie once, one which was made by a millionaire environmentalist who lived in a mansion.
8/21/2011, 6:21 pm
Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Oh, for crying out loud. These scientists just don't want to admit that they subjected themselves to the 2008 remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still, and they stole the plot to redistribute their misery to the masses. They think since the movie bombed at the box office, then no one must have seen it, ergo no one will notice.
But I noticed because I happened to see that piece of crap a few months ago on the FOX HD movie channel, thus losing nearly three hours of my already pathetic life that I'll never get back, unless Colonel 7.62 can somehow recover them through one of his wormholes.
It's a 103 minute movie stretched out to an agonizing two and a half hours on aforementioned channel to make room for 10 minute commercial breaks every five minutes, thus preventing the average viewer from keeping up with the plot.*
It's about aliens who descend upon Earth to destroy humanity, because humans haven't been good stewards of the planet and are doing a lousy job of sorting papers from plastics, etc. Keanu Reeves (as Klaatu, and whoever told him he could act?) claims he can save everyone from being annihilated, but it'll mean Earth Hour every hour for eternity--no more electricity, we're back to the Stone Age. Yippee!
*That, or it's to allow environmentalist viewers extra time in the bathroom if they can't wait till the end of the movie for the huge spontaneous multiple orgasm they could otherwise enjoy upon learning Planet Earth is left with no more electrical power.
Kom. Pinkie! Ssshhhhhh!
It's part of the Kenyesian plot! It was a brilliant strategy by Paul Krugman!
If it came from San Francisco, then it MUST BE TRUE!
OH MY OBAMA! KRUGMAN IS A PROFIT PROPHET!
8/21/2011, 6:28 pm
Raum Emmanual Goldstein
Jíbaro wrote:Bah, if Aliens were to get rid of the Human race they would just invent a virus that would wipe out only Humans and for which there is no cure.
Come to think of it, that is how HIV works.
You See!! Those crazy Christian wackos claimed AIDS was God's punishment for gays...
As it turns out it was the aliens' punishment for our collective rape of Mother Earth all along!
8/24/2011, 11:24 am
Raum Emmanual Goldstein
The Debt Star has cleared the planet...
The Debt Star has cleared the planet...
8/24/2011, 1:32 pm
Kool-Aid_Man
"You may fire when ready."
8/24/2011, 5:06 pm
Shovel 4 U
Grigori E.R. wrote: It takes big bucks or whatever they use for money to build star ships. A fair and balanced Socialist Society would never spend the People's wealth on such things.
Jeeeesh, that's why Dear Leader (PBUH) takes the bus.
Wow, back then, mid August 2011, it didn't work to the fullest .....
So ― bannggg!, early 2020, till now, and forever:
[right]Covid! Covid! Covid![/right][/i]
4/29/2021, 8:08 pm
R.O.C.K. in the USSA
Comrades, I know for a fact that disgusting kapitalist Donald J. Trump is involved in this dastardly scheme to use space aliens to destroy the earth!!
Behold, I present incontrovertible proof of this terrifying truth -
4/30/2021, 10:08 am
jackalopelipsky
'pelipsky don't know about the rest of you comrades, but isn't this whole meme even amemeable because once again, the Biden/Harris Administration is counting on aliens doing a job Americans haven't been able to do, which is, to destroy the human race?
Do only Comrade K.O.O.K. and the mythical horned rodent see this?
Comrades??
5/1/2021, 8:50 pm
R.O.C.K. in the USSA
Comrade Horny Rodent:
If this is true, then - as you can tell by above-linked actual video footage posted by yours truly - it can only mean that traitor comrade Donald J. Trump is in on the plan all along!
I find this terrifying.
5/2/2021, 4:28 am
RedDiaperette
Fie, fie! The use of the term "alien" has been forbidden. We must now call them interplanetary migrants or perhaps undocumented citizens.
