The People's Cube - Political Satire

KOMRADES!

Ever since our Dear Leader's Glorious Imaculation, we have been hearing about the abundance of "Shovel-ready" jobs. These jobs were to hit the ground running, employing highly trained Mc Donald's technicians to dig ditches for the Progressive Infrastructure Of Next Tuesday™, and then only to fill them back up again.

Funding for these jobs was supposed to come from the Holy Stimulus, or more commonly known as Porkulus™, but also referred to as the now-famous "Obama Stash™"—that secret place where Utopia flows from for the New Progressive Order™.

However, be it far from us to call The One™ a "liar" (like some tea-orrist took the occassion to during one of Dear Leader's eloquent teleprompter recitals), in a rare moment of exasperation over the unfair criticism from unemployment beneficiaries, and Tea-orrists just looking for anything to complain about, quipped about the Shovel-ready jobs:



As you can see, Dear Leader was "prompterless" and caught off guard. He didn't really mean that the Shovel-ready jobs weren't really that shovel-ready. Being omnipotent does have its momentary drawbacks, especially when not being guided by The 'Prompter. If he could recant that quip I'm sure he would direct our attention to the $10 million dollars of Holy Stimulus money given to the ATF for "Project Gunrunner".

Since the purpose of the Holy Stimulus is to create jobs, many illegal alien drug smugglin', gun-runnin' undocumented Dem0crats were given highly specialized tasks of linking illegal gun-trafikking activity with ATF-provided weapons. By creating these jobs, and funding them from the Obama Stash™, this enriched our economy and GDP numbers. This brought about more consumerism putting the money back into our economy, and thus making the Progressive World Of Next Tuesday™ a day closer.

As with any occupation—and especially those created by the ObamaState—there are drawbacks and backfires. In the instance of Project Gunrunner, the main obstacles seem to be meddling Rethuglikkkan politicians and their incessant witchhunts, who want to pad their resumés, in this case, at the expense of the ATF workers.

"But what does this have to do with Shovel-ready jobs?", you may ask.

The important thing to note is whether or not a shovel is actually being used for the job. Here at the Cube™, we all know what a shovel is used for. And then there are those with "talent on loan from Marx" who have raised the shovel to a peerless art form. You know who you are. But I digress. The point about Holy Stimulus jobs is the "trickle down effect" it has.

In this case the "trickle down" comes in the form of a dead Border Patrol guard gunned down by one of the Project Gunrunner guns that was handed out by ATF agents paid for by the Holy Stimulus money from Obama's Stash™.

As with anything Dear Leader touches, it has a propensity to turn to ruin. The real Shovel-ready jobs apparently are reserved only for the Undertakers of this Utopia.

I just wish reality would get its ass in gear and comply with His Obamaness's decrees.

Shoveling the BS produced by this regime would put everyone back to work

Corporeal Whinny wrote:KOMRADES!
As you can see, Dear Leader was "prompterless" and caught off guard. He didn't really mean that the Shovel-ready jobs weren't really that shovel-ready. Being omnipotent does have its momentary drawbacks, especially when not being guided by The 'Prompter.

Comrade, such insight is customarily not found in lowly Corporeals. The unenlightened can not comprehend Obama's burden of genius. Teleprompters necessarily allow His Eminence access to human communication patterns vastly beneath His lofty comprehensions, much like the Moldy Koran allows common access to Allah's incomprehensible thoughts.

If only the evil Rethuglikkkans and football fans would quit interrupting his speech opportunities we would soon understand the depth of Dear Leader's involvement and caring about shovel ready jobs. It's difficult to comprehend the audacity of these racists - can you just imagine the hate it took to plan both a GOP debate, and as a backup, a season opening NFL football game at the time of Dear Leader's speech?!?

And now, speaking of sports, I've read that five (5) racist NASCAR drivers have turned down an invitation to the White House.

Comrades, I haven't seen this kind of racism and hate in a long time. I long for Next Tuesday™

As you can see, Dear Leader was "prompterless" and caught off guard. He didn't really mean that the Shovel-ready jobs weren't really that shovel-ready. Being omnipotent does have its momentary drawbacks, especially when not being guided by The 'Prompter.

Are you suggesting that Dear Leader is like Elmer Fudd in the Bugs Bunny Cartoon "What's Opera, Doc?" Fudd, playing the part of Siegfried (without Roy) explained that his power came from his "Spear and Magic Hewlmet." Are you saying that His Obamaness is powerless without his Smear and Magic Teweprompter?

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." -Robert Kennedy

The problems we inherited from the Bush Administration are difficult to assess and harder to solve. Only our best and brightest can understand. We must not "change horses" in the midst of our current War on Economics. Stay the course. Steady the helm. Raise the Jolly Roger. It won't take four more years for these pirates to completely plunder the country. (oops, I forgot myself for a moment) I mean our best days are before us.

Comrade Ivan,

I am only saying that who is Merlin without the Magik Wand™; Nanski without the Botox™; Bush without his lies and cowboy boots; Cheney without his Darth Vader helmet; Derr Schleikmeister without his cigars; Hillary without her many titted polyester pant suit; Joe 'bite me' Biden without his incomprehensible intellect; Islam without its 'phobia'; Barney from the Simpsons without his beer. . . which leaves, Obama without his 'prompter'?

All I'm saying, Comrade Ivan, is that the power is in the pants for who it is that wears them. In Dear Leader's case that would be MOO-chelle.

It won't take four more years for these pirates to completely plunder the country[...]

No sir, it won't. After the ObamaCare™ kicks in, and the Death Panels™ put into place, the shovel-ready jobs will become self-evident.

But for now, we have Dear Leader's and Eric Holder's Project Gunrunner, which will ensure many more dead Border Patrol agents to guarantee the shovel-ready jobs will be around for a long, long time to come.

And not a moment too soon. Just in time to raise the employment figures to the reasonable mark needed to qualify for reelection. More dead Border Patrol agents means more shovel-ready jobs. More jobs means less unemployment. Less unemployment means 4 MORE YEARS!

The Thought Criminals are all over the Shovel Ready Jobs not being so ready. We just cannot allow the Obama to speak without the teleprompter. This is priority one.

Warning, this is not for Comrades with weak hearts: