The People's Cube - Political Satire

Komrades!

As you know I have called for a purge to cleanse the Cube of those who lack faith in Dear Leader (AP&PBUH) and are of the opinion that our visions for Next Tuesday are all but impossible. I have called for these purges as a means of presenting the "stick." Fear is a wonderful motivator!

But now I wish to present the carrot "beet" to entice encourage those who are now adequately fearful.

I have received an email that has several reminders for us that we should be of great cheer! It presents several encouraging points that should serve to remind us that -- in spite of the morale sucking rhetoric -- we are closer than ever to achieving the vision! I am providing much of the text here (editied for Cube consumption -- of course) to give you something to run to when you are fleeing the "stick."

Centralised Power in America has been on a fast-track -- and the Constitution has become a virtual relic to be interpreted and re-interpreted in the most expedient manner necessary to acheive Social Justice.

In what ways has our power risen in America?
~

1. Privacy - Red light cameras and tens of thousands of hidden surveillance cameras watch what we're doing at all times of the day and night. Unless you live in a rural area, there is no privacy anymore -- even if you're a "law-abiding citizen" (as we know there is no such animal). What's more, the government can wiretap your phone anytime they want -- without warning.

2. Guilty Even If Proven Innocent - This is a requirement for ensuring absolute power justice: Local police and any of the federal government's alphabet agencies can conduct searches and seizures without a warrant. No proof of wrong-doing is required, just reasonable suspicion. You are assumed guilty -- and there is no recourse even if you are eventually proven innocent.

3. No Freedom of Speech - As has been witnessed even here on the Cube, one must be careful what one says in America... it could get you beaten or arrested. Consider all the recent protests that have taken place where people have been beaten or arrested -- not for violence -- but for simply speaking out or refusing to leave when the police tell them to leave. Free speech and the right to protest peacefully were once guaranteed by the Constitution -- a guarantee that is now worthless!

4. Excessive Appropriate Force and Retaliation for Minor Infractions - Consider the case of the 6-year-old boy who was being disruptive by talking in his school classroom. Rather than being reprimanded or written up, he was hand-cuffed and detained for hours in a separate office. He was told he would be sent to jail and never see his parents again. This is just one example of the use of excessive appropriate force that is becoming increasingly common.

5. Draconian Food Laws Eliminate Freedom of Choice - As one is well aware...choice is detrimintal to true joy and happiness. Did you know it's illegal to buy raw milk in the U.S.? In fact, an August 2011 report by Natural News reveals that the FDA is "waging a clandestine war on raw milk dairy farmers through a network of government spies." Restrictive food laws are on the rise. The FDA is trying to grab even more power. They're already targeting farmers markets and are seeking to regulate the fresh produce sold in hundreds of small towns around the country.

And the few examples listed here only scratch the surface! There is virtually no area of life that the Party has not in some way infringed upon. Here's a perfect illustration of what I mean...

If you watch the news, then you know the U.S. media loves to bash China for curbing free speech on the Internet. I mean, the Chinese should have a right to read what they want, right? But little do they realize how similar the U.S. government is when it comes to violating the rights of its citizens!

Just this summer (June 2011), the FBI seized multiple servers at a Digital One data center, shutting down dozens of U.S.-based websites. The FBI did not have a warrant. The FBI did not notify the data center in advance or even ask for assistance. The FBI simply waltzed in... stole confiscated (in a caring manner) the servers... and walked out.

Apparently, the FBI was targeting a single website -- just one website! -- but used excessive force anyway, with complete disregard for the collateral damage they would cause by seizing entire racks of servers.

Again, this is just one small example. Stories like this come out every single month and are happening with increasing frequency. The question is, are you willing to stop your whinging and put your nose to the grindstone?

And the Dear Leader is making the US safe by raiding guitar factories!

Comrade Raum,

Just a few clarifications:

Raum Emmanual Goldstein wrote: 1. Privacy - Red light cameras and tens of thousands of hidden surveillance cameras watch what we're doing at all times of the day and night. Unless you live in a rural area, there is no privacy anymore -- even if you're a "law-abiding citizen" (as we know there is no such animal). What's more, the government can wiretap your phone anytime they want -- without warning.

The red light cameras are there for one reason, and one reason only: to provide revenue to the State. Just like gambling casinos are in existence for only one reason—and that is to fleece gullible "poor" people into believing they can achieve wealth the same way Nanski Peloski and other admirable "regular type" liberals have.

And don't forget that even rural areas can't escape our agents with iPhones. Our cameras are everywhere. We know all; see all, and eventually will control all.

Raum wrote: 2. Guilty Even If Proven Innocent - This is a requirement for ensuring absolute power justice: Local police and any of the federal government's alphabet agencies can conduct searches and seizures without a warrant. No proof of wrong-doing is required, just reasonable suspicion. You are assumed guilty -- and there is no recourse even if you are eventually proven innocent.

This is why we have established the Court Of Public Opinion in conjunction with special interest groups and our beloved Media. We can't rely on "reichwing" federal judge appointees who have no interest for special interest or social justice. Certain groups of people, like whites, Christians and conservatives, are guilty by default. Whether they can prove their "innocence" (which is subjectively determined by the Court Of Social Justice) is irrelevant to the larger picture of statism.

Raum wrote: 3. No Freedom of Speech - As has been witnessed even here on the Cube, one must be careful what one says in America... it could get you beaten or arrested. Consider all the recent protests that have taken place where people have been beaten or arrested -- not for violence -- but for simply speaking out or refusing to leave when the police tell them to leave. Free speech and the right to protest peacefully were once guaranteed by the Constitution -- a guarantee that is now worthless!

Comrade, it's not the there is a loss of freedom for speaking out, for anyone can say whatever they want; any time they want, but it's holding one accountable for the words they utter. Say the wrong thing and suffer the consequences. It's about that simple. And as far as protesting goes, if you are an underprivileged class conforming to the racial codes of victim status, or belonging to certain religious cults that are Party-approved, you may congregate on the State's property without fear of losing your "free speech rights", or police reprisal.

The Constitution still guarantees the right to free speech—now with embellishments that add more definition as to what speech will be considered "free". See? Nothing's changed.

Raum wrote: 4. Excessive Appropriate Force and Retaliation for Minor Infractions - Consider the case of the 6-year-old boy who was being disruptive by talking in his school classroom. Rather than being reprimanded or written up, he was hand-cuffed and detained for hours in a separate office. He was told he would be sent to jail and never see his parents again. This is just one example of the use of excessive appropriate force that is becoming increasingly common.

All we hear is that he's a 6-year old boy. We don't hear about any gang affiliations, criminal record, race, or whether he comes from a one-parent home. It's proven that sitting him in a corner with a 'dunce' cap will ruin his self-esteem leaving him with irreversable emotional scars for the rest of his life. The teacher can no longer issue corporal punishment because that would be commiting an act of violence. And even if the 6-year old presented an open switchblade to the teacher's face, corporal punishment still couldn't be initiated.

The threat about him going to jail and never seeing his parents again was only a reference that he would be put in a seperate cell from his parent(s).

Raum wrote:
5. Draconian Food Laws Eliminate Freedom of Choice - As one is well aware...choice is detrimintal to true joy and happiness. Did you know it's illegal to buy raw milk in the U.S.? In fact, an August 2011 report by Natural News reveals that the FDA is "waging a clandestine war on raw milk dairy farmers through a network of government spies." Restrictive food laws are on the rise. The FDA is trying to grab even more power. They're already targeting farmers markets and are seeking to regulate the fresh produce sold in hundreds of small towns around the country.

Comrade, we all know that choice leads to confusion over making the wisest of decisions. We have our compilations of data proving that the "average Joe" cannot make reasonable, appropriate choices when given a myriad to choose from. One or two choices should be sufficient for everyone. The movie Soylent Green illustrates the efficiency of food manufacturing and distribution. This is the way of the future.

Nutrition is a numbers game, and who better to play the game than the Lords Of The State. We must allow the FDA to proceed with its duties for the good of the Peoples health. We don't know what private farmers have done to their crops that it is they're trying to sell to the public. They may not have used the government-allotted pesticides, or cancer-causing growth hormones that are required by the FDA for better, healthier food.

This goes for those lemonade stands you see once in a while set up by young, entrepreneurial capitalist upstarts. We don't know what went into that lemonade that they're trying to peddle to the public. It could have tap water in it, or saccharin. Some people who are allergic to that could have a reaction. And worst of all, there is no food warning labels telling the caloric count, carbohydrates, fiber, daily government-approved vitamin allowances and high-fructose count.

This is important for the obese diabetics who are already claiming social security disability checks that they don't lose their weight that qualified them for disability to begin with.

Comrades, I thank you for providing me this bleak delightful news to which I have awakened this beautiful late summer morning! It's easy to forget, much like a frog in a soon to be boiling pot of water, just how far we've already come toward the glorious world of Next Tuesday! There are still minor roadblocks to our progressive vision of the future, but they are few - and we're actually nearly there!!

Thank Gaia, and Dear Leader (PBUH)!

If the boy's parents come to his defense then it's obvious that they're enemies of the Party.He's already had a full 6 years to spy on his parents and denounce them but since they haven't been executed yet then he's either incompetent or a co-conspirator.
[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img] I'm going to set up a suspicious-looking lemonade stand somewhere conspicuous and get some buddies to come with me and dress all shady and shifty. Then we'll wait around until a police car comes by and quickly grab everything and run away screaming "IT'S THE COPS!"