9/13/2011, 9:36 am
Alchemists have been trying to transmute common elements into gold for hundreds of years.
Recently an American Al-Chemist claims to have succeeded where so many have failed.
"The secret is that you need a special catalyst to turn common elements into gold," confided Al Gore, former senator from Tennessee and vice-president to Bill Clinton. "My method is to force the sale of carbon credits through a huge steaming pile of what I like to call climate science."
"The hardest part is to get people to exchange precious metals like gold and silver for worthless carbon credits. To do that you need a lot of junk science, but it becomes a real gravy train when combined with government mandates."
Mr. Gore declined to elaborate further about how he was able to manipulate this market for private gain, but Mr X, an old college roommate, gave us some hints. "Yeah, ‘Crazy-Al' was always talking about some get-rich scheme or another. Back in the 80s he was sure that he was going to make a lot of money on new technology. He said that if his patent for the internet was approved, he would charge half a penny for each web page, and he would never have to work again".
"I said, 'Al, you're already in Congress--you don't have to work!' He didn't think that was very funny. But when he became unemployed back in 2000, he decided to take his chance. He told me that his mentor George Soros had once told him the secret to easy money: You can be as rich as you want--you just have to make a whole lot of other people poorer."
Note: This article is in honor of tomorrow's day of propaganda,where Mr. Gore and his friends will once again proclaim that "the science is settled" and that "deniers" like myself should be silenced so they can implement their radical policy of government control over energy, food, water and other natural resources.
