The People's Cube - Political Satire

Playing Angry Birds at work costs employers $1.5 billion

5 per cent of Amerikans might be playing Angry Birds, the world's most popular video game, at work. Then he figured $35 was the hourly pay of Amerikan smartphone owners. Voila: $1,516,666,667 down the toilet in productivity.

Komrades, grab your shovels! We have a new People's Enemy trying to destroy Dear Leader's economy! And just what are these saboteurs? They call themselves the Angry Birds. A quick trip around komrade Gore's internets and I discovered these evil insidious creatures inhabit the phones of the Neo-Kulaks. It appears that these felonious fowls distract their victims by offering up a game in which one can kill evil piggies. See the appeal komrades? Who wouldn't want to kill evil pigs? It's every prole's fantasy, right? But these pigs are just a distraction! (and most likely in cahoots with the birds I might add) The real purpose behind this "game" is to sap the productivity of the Amerikan worker! For this reason, I denounce The Angry Birds and call for their immediate purge! Down with the BIRDS!

Actually, we the Cube cheer the marvelous decline in the American work ethic. Soon, greedy evil Americans will learn from their more enlightened French and North Korean comrades to just chill and let the almighty State provide.

Speaking of Angry Birds, I love this game. I learn the valuable lessons of fighting capitalist exploitation and embracing collective action every time I play it from my US$500 iPhone while imbibing from my father's priceless cognac collection.