The People's Cube - Political Satire

JiffyLobos have become problematic. They just don't have the public appeal they once enjoyed. The masses have become grumpy with all of the rethug opposition to Premiere Obama's plans and are less likely to voluntarily have parts of their brains removed in order to understand and willingly participate in Hope and Change.

I was revisiting a favourite movie of mine where a computer-like brain device was used to erase segments of a prole's memory without a scalpel or the oh so messy nostril pick and hook.

This device was wired to the man's head while he slept, all in the comfort of his own dacha like so:

While the process, like JiffyLobo, is still technically brain damage it is no more than what one would endure from a night of heavy beet vodka consumption at Pulloskies.

With a five million dollar grant from the Department of reEducation I was able to develop a basic prototype:

EMBEDDED IMAGE NO LONGER AVAILABLE

The marginal results were promising given large doses of medical marijuana were used to supplement the workings of the device. The administration was so impressed with the test data illustrating substantial memory loss that it actually inspired the freshly printed porkulous junior and is in part responsible for its existence.

Here's the best news- If we pass the bill as Dear Leader demands as a show of our love, I have been informed that my yet to be named company will receive no less than $675,000,000.00 in government backed "loans" to begin mass production... and at some later point the development of the technology to make them actually work.

This projekt has the potential to create (or save) three million jobs between the crews that will service the public with 3 AM visits and the colander factories where the headgear will be manufactured. Colanders aren't just for pasta anymore!

I assume the resulting program will be administered under the Department of the AttackWatch.com. The 4th graders in charge had to go to recess before I was clear on the post production plan.

Comrade INGSOC, Congress simply MUST pass the bill, if for no other reason than to see what's in it!

Meanwhile, though, in other news - I heard a rumor just Last Tuesday that JiffyLobo™ was coming out with a new JiffyLoboHemiTurbo™ procedure that would put the old-style basic JiffoLobo™ to shame. I immediately applied and submitted my ObamaCard™ number online at AttackWatch.com, in order to be equally first in line!!

You heard right, R.O.C.K. ........ It's the wave of the collective future !

The all-new " JiffyLobo HemiTurbo " procedure. No scarring !!!!!

An all new technique, pioneered by University Progressives,

removes parts of the brain by accessing it rectally.

Tsk... Tsk... Tsk... you be careful with that spoon now Krasnodar!

No worries, RR...... I'm " Old School ".

Like ice cream... good work Krasnodar!

Thanks !
Hey, Seeing as how it's a Friday night, 'n all, how bout a double-dip lobo sundae ?

My's favorite's called the DNC ....... two rainbow sherbet scoops sprinkled with nuts.

MMMM ........Tasty!

I'm sorry comrades but like the incandescent light bulb the jiffy lobo must go the way of the dodo bird. I'm in talks with GE as we speak and will be having cake with Production Czar Imelt tomorrow afternoon in the Hall of Mirrors, Versailles.