The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades!

Glorious news! We have come up with a full proof solution to the unemployment crisis that will ensure that our Glorious Leader will triumph in the polls in 2012. After implementation, the next jobs report will read A ZERO unemployment rate, that is right ZERO! Because we will ensure that everyone is now considered employed.
That is right Comrades, we will reclassify those that are now called unemployed into a new federally recognized job occupation and will call it "Professional JobSeeker" or PJ for short. Not only will this create self esteem for those currently in the PJ field by having an actual title it will also create pride in social situations when asked, "What do you do for a living?"
Imagine Comrades next months Jobs report as reported by state media after we enact this change!

" Job Growth in the PJ Field Exceeds All Expectations"

" Economy Continues Strong Job Growth PJ Jobs Up 9.1 Percent"

Comrades, as you see this is the solution and will ensure victory in 2012!

An excellent suggestion, destined to replace "funemployment" as the proper usage for the chronically occupationally challenged. It needs a bit of tweaking, however. The titile "permanent jobseeker" will undoubtedly be condemned by the neanderthal conservatives as just another feel-good euphemism. I think that we should simply classify them as federal employees, at least in the public arena.

And I say we need to unionize the PJs!

Job seeking is for capitalists. I prefer a wholesale purge of those still seeking and a reclassification of those who have submitted to glorious leader's nanny state. It is much cleaner solution and has same result.

It is well known that job seekers are racist and only "look for jobs" to make Obama look stupid when the unemployment rate soars despite his brilliant spending plans. The new stimulus has massive gulag expansion included I hear.

INGSOC wrote:Job seeking is for capitalists. I prefer a wholesale purge of those still seeking and a reclassification of those who have submitted to glorious leader's nanny state. It is much cleaner solution and has same result.

It is well known that job seekers are racist and only "look for jobs" to make Obama look stupid when the unemployment rate soars despite his brilliant spending plans. The new stimulus has massive gulag expansion included I hear.

Comrade,

I understand the urging for a purging but until we establish the glorious world of next tuesday we need to be prudent in our tactics. Those that have accepted our permanent nanny state and no longer are seeking work will be classified in our official statistics as employed as "Local Economic Evaluators Community Health Expert Specialists" or LEECHES and shall be counted as such in our stats for full employment.

Commodore.
Thank you for confirming that the Kool-Aid has retained its full potency.

Another glorious suggestion from the People's Cube think-tank, Snoogie.

Also. I think all who attempting to seek wages for service or production should be reported to Dear Leaders AttackWatch.com. Seeking compensation for effort is nothing but an attempt to subvert the collective agenda, attempt to perpetrate the failed Kapitalist system, and an attempt to further embarrass Dear Leader.These subversives must be stopped!

With full approval of Dear Leader (PBUH)

My goodness, look at all those subversive Tea -orrists/-baggers eagerly waiting in line to take up the capitalist spit chains, selfishly trying to enrich themselves at the expense of others. Don't they know that is what The State™ is for? SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!