The People's Cube - Political Satire

As was said of Katharine Graham, long-time publisher of The Washington Post, on the advent of Watergate, "Katie's got her tittie in a wringer." She's now rolling in her grave.

On August 18, 2011, Matt Patterson wrote a column

https://www.goall.com/article/amazing-t ... obama.html

Patterson wrote:Imagine a future historian examining Obama's pre-presidential life: ushered into and through the Ivy League despite unremarkable grades and test scores along the way; a cushy non-job as a "community organizer"; a brief career as a state legislator devoid of legislative achievement (and in fact nearly devoid of his attention, so often did he vote "present") ; and finally an unaccomplished single term in the United States Senate, the entirety of which was devoted to his presidential ambitions. He left no academic legacy in academia, authored no signature legislation as a legislator.

And then there is the matter of his troubling associations: the white-hating, America-loathing preacher who for decades served as Obama's "spiritual mentor"; a real-life, actual terrorist who served as Obama's colleague and political sponsor. It is easy to imagine a future historian looking at it all and asking: how on Earth was such a man elected president?...

True, Obama himself was never troubled by his lack of achievements, but why would he be? As many have noted, Obama was told he was good enough for Columbia despite undistinguished grades at Occidental; he was told he was good enough for the US Senate despite a mediocre record in Illinois; he was told he was good enough to be president despite no record at all in the Senate. All his life, every step of the way, Obama was told he was good enough for the next step, in spite of ample evidence to the contrary. What could this breed if not the sort of empty narcissism on display every time Obama speaks?

Comrades, this is intolerable. At long last we get a president who is full to above the Plimsoll line of arrogance, hubris and conceit; he disdains America as he should, as do all left-thinking people and Lord O is a man of the hard left; and, let's not put too fine a point on it; not all that ight-bray but because, in Joe Biden's words, he cleans up good, we finally got the president we need. Anyone smarter would be terrified of the oncoming catastrophe but because Lord O's never done anything and has been told of his wondrousness all his life, he simply doesn't care, as long as he can be the engineer of the train going over the cliff.

Now one of the bastions of progressive thought, The Washington Post, for Walter Duranty's sake, is removing the polite fig leaves which all left-thinking people have used so generously to cover Lord O's, er, lack of accomplishments.

All the best leftist thought, and I will kill anyone who suggests that there is no thinking, only hysteria and calculation in leftist thought, is now being exposed.

Obama is the Perfect Progressive President. Who could do better? He's spent the country into bankruptcy. He's alienated our friends. He's bowed to enemies. He's shown the most American weakness of the last century and our enemies love it. He was handed a won Iraqi war; it will be undone entirely in two months owing to his refusal to make a simple deal with the Iraqis about American immunity.

I get that. Lord O, PBUH, is a progressive; he hates any soldier who isn't either kicking in a door at midnight or standing around a concentration camp. And what progressive wants democracy? That's like a vermiform appendix, a mere bobble in prog-kind's eternal search for the vice-grip of slavery and submission.

Lord O is engaging in class warfare, which he should. He's buddies with Trumpka, one of the biggest union thugs on earth. He's refused to talk to the RethugliKKKans and has poisoned political discourse as much as possible, aided of course by Nanski Peloski and Senator Reid.

But most of all, President Obama is the Perfect Progressive President because down deep he despises AmeriKKKa and that's why we must rally round him and demand that the WaPo fire that bastard Matt Patterson. Before he commits another Washington faux pas: accidentally telling the truth again.

Theo, I was not supposed to tell you this but since you have revealed yourself to be a faithful Party member and a raving lunatic (a feature, not a bug!) I can let you in on a secret... This "column" is just a smokescreen, designed to lure enemies of the People out into the open like cockroaches coming out at midnight to investigate the smell of not-yet-putrid borscht. The idea is to tempt wavering Party members, too small to be bailed out bankers and disgruntled Solyndra investors into displaying any lack of loyalty they have toward Dearest Leader by letting them think they are ranting into a safe venue. It is all being monitored. Just like in our favorite tome, 1984, the operative phrase is "I love Big Brother!"

Ah, Opiate; I'm so glad that you realize that my raving lunacy is a feature and not a bug. That validates all of MSNBC. I've heard Rachael Madcow and Laurence O'Donnell both speak and I have a long climb ahead of me to their empyrean lunacy.

I hope one day to rise to the level of meanness and lunacy of Nina Totenberg, who is not the Wicca worshiper in NPR, who wished for AIDS on Jesse Helms and on his grandchildren.

Now you have to like that: someone whose salary is paid by the government wishing AIDS on innocent children.

What a prog.

Nina Totebag wished for AIDS on Jesse Helms and his grandchildren? How arrogantly self-righteous of her! This is one of the characteristics of our enlightened species I have always admired, the facility to devise imprecations for our enemies that match the government programs they dare to oppose. I remember the late Carl Sagan, a prog by virtue of being an academic, saying that it would be great if white people all got skin cancer because of their relentless destruction of the ozone layer or something.

It's so great to be a prog; for a normal person, spitting out spiteful rants like those are a sign of a small, immature character. But for progs, it's a sign of our moral superiority that we are so outraged by what we see as others' failures to do the "right" thing as we see it, that we wish on them deaths a sane person wouldn't wish on a dog.

Attention, world! If you don't do the things I think you all should do, you deserve to get AIDS and cancer and die in a flaming car crash on your way to the slaughterhouse!

I feel so superior now. Aaaah.

Opiate, a nice encapsulation.

Ah, yes, the virtue of proggery is that Reality is What Comes Out My Ass. We are not constrained by reality or consideration when our finely tuned antennae detect Something We Might Take Offense To.

Claim the moral high ground even though it's the low ground and infest the legacy media and academe so that decent people are afraid to speak and the vicious can wish death on people with whom they have a political disagreement.

But Opiate I'm sure you agree with me that the most delicious disagreements are political. Because that's when you get to rob people blind, enslave them, and if you're really lucky, and I'm getting randy here, use lethal force.

For their own good.

But remember: for a prog, Reality Is What Comes Out My Ass™.

Elements of last sentence, Theocritus, would make for an interesting T-shirt.

Printed on the back, of course.

With an over-sized arrow pointed down.

Or the arrow could be pointing up to the asshat sitting atop the cranium.

It's amazing how Realty Is What Comes Out My Ass™ happens, invariably, within three months of your first really good fit with a superheterodyne, phased-antenna-array tin-foil hat.

Speaking of such, have you heard Nanski lately? Dear Nanski is making absolutely no sense whatsoever. I think the botox needles went into her gray matter.

Father Prog,

I believe Nanski has been given a mandatory hiatus to be spent in the attic alongside "Uncle" Joe Bitme. Either that, or she has been digitized and sentenced to life in Arkam Asylum in a cell next to The Joker™.

Let's be charitable to them both. Joe Bidet was supposed to arrange it so our Imperialist Soldier Dogs could stay in Iraq with diplomatic immunity. He managed to force us to withdraw from Iraq, snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. General Betrayus' surge actually worked and so it couldn't be allowed to work.

Nanski was of course saying, "Pass the bill and you'll see what's in it."

It's so very hard for a prog to say and do these things day in and day out without really wearing out the Jiffy-Lobo™.

Father Prog,

I just love being charitable—as long as it doesn't cost me anything in the process. I believe there was a highly criticized video of Nanski that was floating around recently, that mysteriously disappeared. It showed her acting like her normal, rational self flailing her arms in the air like she was trying to shoo away some invisible annoyance.

One thing about "Uncle Joe": If I were a mooslem (and you never know with the way things are going these days how that could be a reality) I would be praising his name as the best thing to happen since spelling bees.

I believe the second-biggest selling book in the Muslim countries is [/i]Mein Kampf[/i].

I personally quite agree with your assessment that you like being charitable--as long as you don't have to pay for anything. This is how you become employed by a philanthropy. Every year they have a big shin-dig, and when they had one in Miami, the cops rousted the homeless. There were food stands every block and you could eat free on showing your philanthropy badge, but the homeless who sneaked back in were run away again.

I love it. Those people, like Bill Arimony, doing well by doing good, spending OPM and running away people who weren't good enough to eat with them.

[ off ]In 1979 I was given a Saturday tour of the national United Way headquarters by one of the prototypes for Bruno, a college friend and then more. I saw the studios and even then I could tell that it was corrupt from the way ur-Bruno talked about it. I don't care if you do graduate cum laude from Rice, MA from Georgetown, accepted to Chicago, if you're a moonbat, you're a moonbat. It's a lapse in taste and cognition.

The only thing which tickles me more than the downfall of a bastard like Arimony is the death of a faith healer.

Father Prog Theocritus wrote:Speaking of such, have you heard Nanski lately? Dear Nanski is making absolutely no sense whatsoever. I think the botox needles went into her gray matter.

Ummm, as I pointed out in another (fully equal) thread, Ms Nanski's face is currently frozen, which is no doubt contributing to the lack of her usual contributions.

Bear in mind that botox is short for botulism toxin. It is my understanding that not only has Nanski been injected with four gallons of botox, but she also got four gallons of propafol. You know, the Jackson Juice. It was to help her through the loss of her 757 with the golden toilet which she rode on and from which her progressive turds were thrown on fly-over country.

[ off ]Seriously, folks; Nanski is quite mad now. Completely and totally without regard to paying even lip service to reality.

And, if I might add, is doing a wonderful job representing her San Francisco constituency.

FPT : Glad to hear you got those bugs out of your teeth.

Those were actually not bugs. Those were the roasted private parts of RethugliKKKans who made the mistake of entering the Rancho.