11/18/2011, 12:44 am
Dear Comrades:
The glorious world of Next Tuesday™ is much closer to fruition. Newspeak has taken over the European Union. Our glorious commissars in Brussels have issued regulations saying that water is no longer considered healthy. It is now a crime, my comrades, to claim water will protect against dehydration! Is this not wonderful? Afterall, the good proles of the people's bureaucracy of Europe™ will believe what these glorious experts™ have declared to be the Current Truth™. Marx™would be proud. And further, these highly paid commissars have apparently passed legislation against "excessively curved" bananas and ugly carrots. Magnificent! It is the best way possible to bring about a total end to evil Capitalism by worrying about these important things while Europe is in financial crisis.
Comrades, is this not an appropriate use of the Occupy movement? Afterall, the cry of the 99% is that they did what they were supposed to do. They were apparently required to go to ivy league colleges and borrow $50,000 per semester for tuition. Then they were required to get degrees in Gender Studies, Anthropology, Hating America, Linguistics, Sociology, Socialist Welfare, and other very important subjects. In return for spending $50,000 per semester and partying/drinking and regurgitating everything their socialist professors told them, they expected a six figure salary job to fall out of the sky on top of them. But because of the evil Rethuglikkkan KAPITALISTS, they are being denied the six figure salary jobs they were naturally owed right out of college because they refused to think for themselves did what they were told and were useful idiots.
Likewise, water must be occupied. For so long, people were told that water was healthy. Good proles used to buy lots of bottles of the stuffand litter the ground with the empty bottles. Now that our most intelligent experts in the European Union have dispelled this most unfortunate rumor and given us the Current Truth, water must pay. #Occupy-Water. Better yet, NASA has discovered that there is probably water beneath the ice on Jupiter's moon Europa. #Occupy-Europa. Occupy everything. Bus the people to the moon Europa at a cost of $4.6 billion. Let the rich™ pay for the trip. And if galactic cops prevent occupation forces on Europa, do something to get a good sympathy photo. If that means becoming space popcorn, so be it. It's the photo that is important. And remember, wealthy progs will provide occupiers with free space suits, wifi, and gourmet food while occupying Europa.
The glorious world of Next Tuesday™ is much closer to fruition. Newspeak has taken over the European Union. Our glorious commissars in Brussels have issued regulations saying that water is no longer considered healthy. It is now a crime, my comrades, to claim water will protect against dehydration! Is this not wonderful? Afterall, the good proles of the people's bureaucracy of Europe™ will believe what these glorious experts™ have declared to be the Current Truth™. Marx™would be proud. And further, these highly paid commissars have apparently passed legislation against "excessively curved" bananas and ugly carrots. Magnificent! It is the best way possible to bring about a total end to evil Capitalism by worrying about these important things while Europe is in financial crisis.
Comrades, is this not an appropriate use of the Occupy movement? Afterall, the cry of the 99% is that they did what they were supposed to do. They were apparently required to go to ivy league colleges and borrow $50,000 per semester for tuition. Then they were required to get degrees in Gender Studies, Anthropology, Hating America, Linguistics, Sociology, Socialist Welfare, and other very important subjects. In return for spending $50,000 per semester and partying/drinking and regurgitating everything their socialist professors told them, they expected a six figure salary job to fall out of the sky on top of them. But because of the evil Rethuglikkkan KAPITALISTS, they are being denied the six figure salary jobs they were naturally owed right out of college because they refused to think for themselves did what they were told and were useful idiots.
Likewise, water must be occupied. For so long, people were told that water was healthy. Good proles used to buy lots of bottles of the stuffand litter the ground with the empty bottles. Now that our most intelligent experts in the European Union have dispelled this most unfortunate rumor and given us the Current Truth, water must pay. #Occupy-Water. Better yet, NASA has discovered that there is probably water beneath the ice on Jupiter's moon Europa. #Occupy-Europa. Occupy everything. Bus the people to the moon Europa at a cost of $4.6 billion. Let the rich™ pay for the trip. And if galactic cops prevent occupation forces on Europa, do something to get a good sympathy photo. If that means becoming space popcorn, so be it. It's the photo that is important. And remember, wealthy progs will provide occupiers with free space suits, wifi, and gourmet food while occupying Europa.
