12/10/2011, 9:32 pm
As illustrated above, Dear Leader (PBUH) presents the military its new budget. Visible, flipping in the air above #11's helmet is a golden Sacagawea dollar tossed by the Lord High Commander in Chief and Fundamental Transformer of this Country, that the uniformed athletes would have to battle for an hour to determine which side would earn the budget "redistribution." (the Army premauturely announced yesterday it is cutting 8700 jobs--these will not reflect on employment statistics without administration approval.) His "O"lyness sat with one side, and at half-time SWITCHED SIDES, just as he did with campaign finance reform, FANNIE MAE/FREDDIE MAC, Guantanamo Bay, the sale of horse meat for human consumption, and his support for Hosni Mubarak in Egypt.
just as before, he ended up on the losing side in the end...
Dear Leader expressed his admiration for the students at the Military Academies, as their education (tuition, room, board, books, clothing, and an allowance...) is completely paid for by millionaires and billionaires taking advantage of the Bush Tax cuts; but upon graduation, each will become government employees who will work long hours for a pittance of pay, and sacrifice their Winter Solstice vacations in the name of "service" and fairness, just like himself...
The Department of Homeland Security urged Dear Leader not to attend, reminding him that he would be entering a truly hostile crowd of young rethugglicans who, as published in a report by DHS, would become "military veterans facing significant challenges reintegrating into their communities could lead to the potential emergence of terrorist groups or lone wolf extremists capable of carrying out violent attacks" (NOTE: The ONLY authorized use of the word "terrorist" is in reference to US Military Veterans.) The President admoinished Secretary Napolitano to "piss up a rope, I'm getting a corn dog and a beer at the stadium."
