The People's Cube - Political Satire

**12/28/2011, 1:05 am**

This afternoon, on the fifth page of the seemingly endless " Occupy USSA " thread, our beloved( or at the very least, feared ) Komrade Father Prog Theocritus has announced that this year's New Year's Eve Celebration and Bacchanalia will be held at his security compound in the West Texan desert this Saturday !

The illegals ......... " Dream Act Participants " are seen crossing the river because it's low this time of year. They do, however, stay a healthy distance away from the structures.

( It seems a few of their compadres had, shall we say, a close encounter with the electrified razor wire along with assorted claymore mines buried just outside the perimeter.)

So, befitting of his legendary hospitality, they have bestowed upon Theo the endearing title of " El muy cabron "

Just follow the signs........ B.Y.O.V., cash bar available. $ 25.00 cover charge ( cash )

**12/28/2011, 5:48 am**

K-Man, most of us are already here, including R.O.C.K., Tovarichi, Pamalinsky, Red Rooster, et al... Your host and his compadre are waiting on you! After all, you've got the stash of Stoli.

Move it, soldier! Let's get this People's Party started! (Don't forget to bring all your cash, valuables, and PII for safekeeping in Theo's vault.)

**12/28/2011, 11:05 am**

Comrade Red: Look above........ B.Y.O.V. ( Bring Your Own Vodka )

Theocritus instructed me to park the " spirits " tanker around the back, and that he'll take care of the rest." ( Remember.... he prides himself on being a bastard ! )

But he also said that there will be drinks available at his cash bar. No doubt..........

It just doesn't get more equal than that, now does it, Comrade !

**12/28/2011, 1:16 pm**

[sigh] Krasno, BYOV is for Progs less equal than us.

When you've achieved our more equal level of Proggery, it is required to get someone else whom you perceive to be less equal than you to bring the vodka. So for me to require you to bring my vodka from your stash is actually an honor for you. (Prog logic 101, also known as "Progic". And no, Theo, that's not a programming language. Its internal inconsistencies cause any code generated with it to collapse once the OPM is exhausted.)

**12/28/2011, 1:26 pm**

Commissar Redumdimski wrote:[sigh]Krasno, BYOV is for Progs less equal than us.

When you've achieved our more equal level of Proggery, it is required to get someone else whom you perceive to be less equal than you to bring the vodka. So for me to require you to bring my vodka from your stash is actually an honor for you. (Prog logic 101.)

**12/28/2011, 2:57 pm**

Well, FPT said " No exceptions ! ".... and that even progs are beneath him.

**12/29/2011, 1:43 am**

Well, Theo's libation tanker arrived today. Admittedly, it's a fresh batch, but he's letting it age until Saturday.

One thing is bothering me, though.
Earlier today, FPT was going over his list of supplies destined for the big burger barbecue.
That, in and of itself, was relatively benign.

But now the two delivery horses are missing.

**12/29/2011, 1:56 am**

I'll be there, my darlings! YES! I'll be there! That is where I was made a prog. For real! Thanks to special efforts made, because of my stubborness, by Father Prog Theocritus himself.

Theo wrote a story about this event, way back in May of 2010, called "Pamalinsky's Breakdown". Maybe March. I'm trying to find it and will deliver when I do find it. I was honored to be a "feature" of Father Prog Theo's attention. He is, after all, my Cube mentor. He believed in me when others didn't! I owe him big time!

Great fun was had by all! Goofy Cubers had a field day! It was wonderful, well, in a disgusting sort of way. They had to bring in the Haz Mats dudes after the party, but that's to be expected!

Let's do it again!Father Prog Theocritus, can you help me find this post? It was a turning point for me and I want to share it with others. Hmmm? Sorry to put the "presh" on you, my dear friend.Would you mind?

**12/29/2011, 2:05 am**

Pamalinski,

Should we wear our body armor ?
I don't think anyone wants to be in the way of stray rounds if " Hello Kitty " finds Theocritus.

**12/29/2011, 2:17 am**

Krasnodar wrote:Pamalinski,

Should we wear our body armor ?
I don't think anyone wants to be in the way of stray rounds if " Hello Kitty " finds Theocritus.

Actually, Theo is my friend, and I think he'll deliver for me. I love Theo, and you,too, Kraz.

**12/29/2011, 2:36 am**

Why, thank you, Comraderess P.

I'm still wearing my flak vest.

**12/29/2011, 2:48 am**

You needn't wear your flak vest, my dear Kraz. I would take a bullet for you! X!

**12/29/2011, 3:48 am**

Well, I left MY vest at home, but then (what with an amp that goes to 11 and all) I have NO problem deflecting stray rounds with a high-powered concentration of whammy barred feedback, willpower, and the glow from my newly whiteness-enhanced teeth via Crest Whitening Strips.

So, speaking of advertisement, y'all got your Superbowl jerseys?

Geesh - I go away for ONE DAY and the Cube gets overrun with Chinese imitation Superbowl jerseys.

Ack.

Looking forward to Saturday night - for those of you who haven't yet arrived at the Rancho, boy howdy do you have a treat in store for you when you get here!

**12/29/2011, 3:51 am**

Krasnodar wrote: Well, FPT said " No exceptions ! ".... and that even progs are beneath him.

I haven't seen the memo from our beloved FPT. If I haven't seen it, it doesn't exist.

If Theo generates the memo in the future, Colonel 7.62 will have to delete the past to obviate these conversations, which will then be null and void.

But by the time we've partaken of some of your equally excellent vodka stash, we won't care anyway. Since it's at the Rancho: Salud!

**12/29/2011, 11:17 pm**

Public service announcement :

If there is any residual cleaning solvent found floating in the party's vodka tank, it will be burned off sometime on Saturday. Then, and only then, will The Rancho's bar be open.

Due to the " university-endowed intelligence " among the Collective's members, we of The Central Committee are certain that no one among us would be stupid enough to take a drink before this step has been accomplished.After all, ingesting industrial solvents is not beneficial to anyone hoping to see our glorious
" World of Next Tuesday "........ or even 2012, for that matter !

( Nobody took a drink, did they ? )

Speaking of which, has anyone seen Bruno ?

**12/29/2011, 11:25 pm**

Just a tiny little eensie weensie taste, Comrade Kras - immeasurably small, and yet a delight to the palate - hints of carnage, with a slight aftertaste of poverty! A fine brew, if I may be so bold.

**12/30/2011, 4:05 am**

Tovarichi, welcome. Haven't seen you in a while.

Here at the Cube you Korrektly engage in mindless bastardy, but I know that you're too smart to defend 0ccupier troll prole pond scum. I was trying to remind you of that regarding Market Grilled Chicken.

And I was Korrektly incensed when you threatened my kitten, so of course I had to latch on and shake you like the vicious attack dog with shark-like rows of teeth that I am.

No hard feelings, just doing my job here at the Cube.

So I'd like to bury the hatchet (no, no, not in your head) and offer a toast to you now during the People's Pre-Party before the full festivities gear up.

(Plus I don't want a trained People's Soldier eyeing my back while fingering his LHR combat knife.)

To Tovarichi, one of the finest People's Soldiers to grace the Cubespace.

And since we're at the Rancho, Salud!

By the way – not to worry. Your drink is from Krasno's personal stash, not the Party's vodka tank, and there's no need to be concerned about residual cleaning solvent spoiling his Stoli. (I had Krasno take a test drink from the bottle to verify this.)

Oh, and my kitten says all is forgiven. She's a real Party animal!

**12/30/2011, 4:09 am**

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Just a tiny little eensie weensie taste, Comrade Kras - immeasurably small, and yet a delight to the palate - hints of carnage, with a slight aftertaste of poverty! A fine brew, if I may be so bold.

How ya feeling, R.O.C.K.? Remember, less than two days to the New Year's Hammer-and-Sickle drop!

**12/30/2011, 11:21 am**

Comrade ROCK:
Keep an eye on yourself.
Especially if your definition of an " eensie weensie taste " is anything over 8 oz.
That solvent stuff can cause cognitive impairment or even permanent brain damage that leaves the victim in a vegetative, conservative-minded state.

So, if you find yourself thinking thoughts like " This country is drowning in debt. ",
or "Obama is a narcissistic bastard", get yourself down to a Jiffy-Lobo ASAP !
Ask for the full prog de-tox brainwash and hot wax.

**12/30/2011, 12:17 pm**

Oh dear. You were right, Krasnodar - and I hit JiffyLobo™ first thing this morning and asked for the full prog special. Damn, those Brazilian waxes hurt!!

**12/30/2011, 12:50 pm**

R.O.C.K.,
Make sure that you didn't do something stupid when you were under the influence,
like making a realistic household budget or starting up a savings account.
People wouldn't believe you're a socialist liberal !

As far as those hot wax burns, spray some Windex on them. Works every time !

Regards,
Krasnodar, Vagabond of the Outer Parts and ordinance specialist.

**12/31/2011, 4:58 am**

Tovariches, in 2012 let's change from what fails every time it's tried – tyranny – to what we know from experience cannot fail when it flourishes – freedom. Let's give ourselves hope for success: Fight the Power™!

**12/31/2011, 10:12 am**

I will watch in pants peeing glee as the peoples "HAMMER" of social justice slams into the ground at the Rancho, as this will be the year the final nail is hammered into the coffin of this kapitalistic hellhole formerly know as the USA and the Most High Lord Obamao (PBUH) assumes his affirmative action rightful destiny in Nov. as Most Supreme Leader 4 Life of the U.S.S.A and then the World, and then the Universe, and then all Universes, and then all spatial dimensions, et al.

A MOST HAP - HAP - HAPPY NEW YEAR INDEED!
PASS THE VODKA RATIONS.

**12/31/2011, 4:15 pm**

Comrade,

if illegals non documented victims are crossing then it would be the Progressive thing to do and offer them the new ICE Opens Hotline to Assist Illegal Immigrants

**12/31/2011, 11:07 pm**

Shovel 4 U wrote:I will watch in pants peeing glee as the peoples "HAMMER" of social justice slams into the ground at the Rancho, as this will be the year the final nail is hammered into the coffin of this kapitalistic hellhole formerly know as the USA and the Most High Lord Obamao (PBUH) assumes his affirmative action rightful destiny in Nov. as Most Supreme Leader 4 Life of the U.S.S.A and then the World, and then the Universe, and then all Universes, and then all spatial dimensions, et al.

A MOST HAP - HAP - HAPPY NEW YEAR INDEED!
PASS THE VODKA RATIONS.

ifwt-2012-ball-170x136.gif

Live Entertainment, Father TheoCactus certainly knows how to throw a classy party.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=p ... 5eqkuuCxPY#!

**1/1/2012, 10:54 pm**

Krasnodar wrote:Public service announcement :

If there is any residual cleaning solvent found floating in the party's vodka tank, it will be burned off sometime on Saturday. Then, and only then, will The Rancho's bar be open.

Vodka 2jpg.jpg

Due to the " university-endowed intelligence " among the Collective's members, we of The Central Committee are certain that no one among us would be stupid enough to take a drink before this step has been accomplished.After all, ingesting industrial solvents is not beneficial to anyone hoping to see our glorious
" World of Next Tuesday "........ or even 2012, for that matter !

( Nobody took a drink, did they ? )

Speaking of which, has anyone seen Bruno ?

One of our Over Seas Bureaus did not receive the memo. Investigation pending. Naturally, we shall turn to the Irish for details.
https://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2011/1215/breaking12.html

**1/2/2012, 3:57 pm**

Commissar Redumdimski wrote: Tovariches, in 2012 let's change from what fails every time it's tried – tyranny – to what we know from experience cannot fail when it flourishes – freedom. Let's give ourselves hope for success: Fight the Power™!

Hell YEAH dittos! HELL yeah! Fnay! (effin ass!) All of you Progs with whom I have had the pleasure to meet recently, and less recently, I am in love with you! Thank you for giving me an island of sanity in all of this horrifying mess! X!

**1/2/2012, 4:04 pm**

Krasnodar wrote:R.O.C.K.,
Make sure that you didn't do something stupid when you were under the influence,
like making a realistic household budget or starting up a savings account.
People wouldn't believe you're a socialist liberal !

As far as those hot wax burns, spray some Windex on them. Works every time !

Regards,
Krasnodar, Vagabond of the Outer Parts and ordinance specialist.

Windex also works quite well on cockroaches and waterbugs (very large cockroaches) The poor creatures sputter for well, a few minutes, seeking escape in your bathtub, gasping for breath, but, as revolting as it is to watch, it works! Otherwise, for roaches, I would recommend Boric Acid. That works, too! X!

**1/2/2012, 4:39 pm**

Pamalinsky wrote:Hell YEAH dittos! HELL yeah! Fnay! (effin ass!)

Pamy, perhaps the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™ is already affecting our alphabet, as I do not know how to interpret that, but it appears it meand "bueno" - Ah. Okay, yes, it does!

Pamalinsky wrote:All of you Progs with whom I have had the pleasure to meet recently, and less recently, I am in love with you! Thank you for giving me an island of sanity in all of this horrifying mess! X!

Yes! Like good Progs who consume all that surrounds them, we must expand the Cube Isle so it engulfs all reality - both vitual and "real"! (Real reality? Sure!)

X to Pamy!

**1/2/2012, 5:11 pm**

Pamalinski...
My congratulations on your selection of avatar imagery............
But after " Hello Kitty " and " sputtering cockroaches ", your status as an antibellum princess is somewhat in question ( from my point-of-view ).

Also....... as pleasant as it is to have you as a fellow commentator, I'm finding that our association is rather expensive. The need to purchase Kevlar body armor has really
put a strain on my resources ! But I'm not complaining, mind you.

I have the suit displayed up on my wall as an intriguing conversation piece ! And I've turned the helmet upside down to serve as a bowl for mixed nuts.*

* I don't know why............. it just seemed to be the right thing to do.

**1/2/2012, 5:25 pm**

Aw, common Kras! Lighten up! I already told you I'd take a bullet for you! (Just like our dear "O" who signed a bill which included taking American citizens as hostages, but...he won't.) Besides, my sweetheart, Comrade Tovarich, already told you to skip the cod piece! After all, he should know. Trust me! Trust me on this, dear Krasnodar!

**1/2/2012, 5:27 pm**

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

We all know that things are going south when anyone would refer to those of " The People's Cube" as " an island of sanity ".

**1/2/2012, 5:36 pm**

Yeah, so true Kraz, so SUE ME! X!

**1/2/2012, 5:44 pm**

Gone south. Yes. Yes it has. Way souther than I ever thought it would, and it ain't through yet, I fear. What's Left of America seems to have a very strong south going magnet attached to it, and the speed has been picking up the last few years.

On the positive side, though, a lot of former sheep have awakened recently as well.

Fellow Cubers™, may 2012 be the beginning of a northward turn for the former United States of America. And it's been delightful getting to know you! The Cube truly is an island of sanity in an ever-increasing morass of, well, asses, to be blunt.

Happy New Year, Comrades!!

**1/2/2012, 5:48 pm**

Ooooh! I love you, R.O.C.K.! XXX!!!

**1/2/2012, 5:54 pm**

Comradessesses P, Now why would I wish to begin any legal proceedings ? Denunciations ?
" Far be it from moi to even consider such a course of action ", Krasnodar said in third-person.

" Morasses "..... so much easier to write than " Washington, D.C."

**1/2/2012, 5:55 pm**

Krasnodar wrote:Comradessesses P, Now why would I wish to begin any legal proceedings ? Denunciations ?
" Far be it from moi to even consider such a course of action ", Krasnodar said in third-person.

" Morasses "..... so much easier to write than " Washington, D.C."

**1/2/2012, 5:58 pm**

Krasnodar wrote:Comradessesses P, Now why would I wish to begin any legal proceedings ? Denunciations ?
" Far be it from moi to even consider such a course of action ", Krasnodar said in third-person.

" Morasses "..... so much easier to write than " Washington, D.C."

OK, Kraz, I'll bite! You mean "More Asses!" Huh?

**1/2/2012, 6:01 pm**

You're cleverness is beyond that of most federal agencies !

**1/2/2012, 7:51 pm**

Love ya back, Pamalinsky :)

Oh, and - um - GO DUCKS!!

**1/2/2012, 8:38 pm**

OK, upon your request ...........

Pamalinski... are you sure this is what you want ?

**1/3/2012, 11:57 am**

Krasnodar wrote:Pamalinski...
My congratulations on your selection of avatar imagery............
But after " Hello Kitty " and " sputtering cockroaches ", your status as an antibellum princess is somewhat in question ( from my point-of-view ).

Hey Krasno, did you mean "antebellum"? Or are you inferring that Pamy is against our Great Progressive War on the Road to the Progressive World of Next Tuesday™?

I know you didn't mean it that way, Comrade!

The People's Cube - Political Satire

Rancho de Rio Grande / Dec.31