The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, I have been watching another cultural triumph for the Party Elite. It happened when the Costa Concordia ran aground off the Italian coast. Captain Francesco Schettino deliberately departed from the proper course so that he could blow his horn. Now I ask you. What prog could resist that? JFK would have the Secret Service find him a woman and they'd divert Air Force One for his little soldier. Bill Clinton got a haircut on his jet, backing up traffic in L.A. Larry King utterly refuses to move when he's blocking traffic. So the worthy captain is entirely within his self-entitled rights. What's proggier than that?

When the ship's hull was pierced, he said it was an electrical problem, and waited an hour before he called the Italian coast guard, and during that time he ordered dinner.

We have conversations of the Italian coast guard telling him to get out of the life boat and to direct the abandonment of ship. We have bickering between him and his first mate about getting off the lifeboat, while paying passengers were being ignored and were in danger of drowning. Of course that was mere noise to a true progressive.

The passengers themselves were being pulled off life boats by some of the male passengers. At one time it was "Women and children first!" The example set by some of the ultrarich on the The Titanic was not followed here. Now we are in the Age of Self Esteem and Endless Entitlement. ASEE.

Comrades, this thrusting selfishness of men is more proof of our success in molding the civilization so that we can have the totalitarianism which we so crave, where we are taken care of from cradle--if we make it to the cradle--to grave, whether we enter it after a long life or after been the subject of attention from the death panel Efficacy of Expensive Amelioration Board under Obamacare. You know, the one that says if you're over 65, you get, er, nothing stronger than aspirin. Unless you are of course a member of the Party Elite.
~
(An email from Dr. Ezekiel "Saving through efficiency is like putting lipstick on a pig" Emanuel, dear Rahm's brother, will be great comfort to the Party Elite. He's the one who wrote the enabling document for Obamacare. Say you're a member of the Party Elite and you need a new liver, since all the Mojitos at the Rancho have knocked yours out. And damn, absinthe's hard on the hepatocytes. You don't want a septuagenarian liver; the Board will find a reason that someone of oh say 25 years and with your blood type "needs" a minor surgical procedure and who will have a "complication" and because of the possibility of contagion, the body will need to be cremated.)

Gloria Steinem said, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." This was a good first step in marginalizing the people who would become reviled as just another Dead, White, European Male who just wasn't dead yet and we are working on that.

Then Maureen Dowd wrote, Are Men Necessary? Indeed. Since the advent of sperm banks and welfare checks, the answer is no. That is, if our Comradettes don't pick up their little comrades by rotating Comrades.

Intelligent boys who are not put into fast-track classes are bored and give trouble. So we give Ritalin. Much easier than keeping them challenged.

Think of movies a half century ago. John Wayne. Cary Grant. Jimmy Stewart. All those DWEM had a dangerous view; they were independent and they did what they thought, in their own minds, was best. They were entirely grown-up men, husband, fathers, men who could put order in things. Men who took responsibility. And since I'm a Made Prog, responsibility is something that I demand from others as I do whatever the hell I want to do. Damn those old movie stars. Why won't that celluloid catch fire?

Today we have Adam Sandler, who would have to study to be responsible enough to put the twist-tie back on a loaf of bread.

So, Comrades, the scene around the life boats of the Costa Concordia was something to be very proud of. We have managed to make a world entirely without honor, dignity, valor, and most of all, without manly men.

And they have to go because they might stand in the way of the totalitarian juggernaut which is our birthright.

Because we want it and reality is what we pull out our ass.

Adam and I had many of the same teachers.

Comrade FPT:

I immensely enjoyed your review article on "Social Darwinism" and how it applies our fellow party elites. What the captain was demonstrating for all to see was simply the "survival of the fittest progressive." This was accomplished by breaking all rules of decorum, etiquette and common decency which is what we progs do. We always hold other people to those high standards but constantly break them when a "push comes to a shove" (so to speak) in almost any situation. Most of us do it however, much more subtly and only rarely get caught on camera doing it.

PR, you realize of course that your initials say it all. There is no reality. Except what we pull out of our asses. Words mean nothing; they're tools meant for obfuscation, dissembling, and just, plain, two-fisted lying.

Ah, I love two-fisted lying. There's nothing quite like knowing that you've worked up quite the sweat calumniating people who can do nothing for you, stealing from the vulnerable, and looking down your nose all the time, while telling people that you, for reasons that not even a doting mother would believe, are patently untrue.

But we have to wonder. Think of Chuckie Schumer. I think of him as an Oberprog. He manages to get the wrong end of every stick, and ask the Romans about the stick and the sponge and the latrine. And you know, I rather think that he believes it.

Which poses an existential question: is there somehow a picture of Dorian Gray in every politician's closet? Which one believes the lies? Is there a visual indicator of lies told? One hears of pictures of saintliness; I personally think of pictures of dear Uncle Joseph as being saintly. But where, exactly, is the record of the lies told? Of the misery inflicted? Of the fortunes, minds, and bodies destroyed?

I cannot believe that all that record of lies, framing, threatening and blackmailing all for the service of the People (read the people who not "them") can be laid to rest without memorialization.

We need to have a museum to perfidy. And it should be placed right next to the Holocaust museum. And in our museum of perfidy we can point out that, properly handled, there would have been no need for a Holocaust museum because it would have all been sanitized, because as we all know, Judenhass has been the pastime of the liberal intelligentsia for the last century and more.

No one is above the law. Except of course us.

Of course, when the movie based on the true story of this event comes out, Captain Schettino will be a hero, the Jim Garrison of the Costa Concordia, fighting to save the 99% passengers from the shipboard bomb planted by the Koch Bros by trying to steer to the nearest rocks of social progess. And he jumped into the lifeboat to cast out the evil rich so the poor folks from steerage could have a chance. Yes, that's the way it must be - truth is irrelevant when we have a narrative to sell. "I'm coming, Captain! Back and to the left, back and to the left...."

Opiate, I bow to your prescience. Perhaps the captain will be Leonardo di Caprio. Now there's an actor with the proper gravitas for the job.

But you're right that it's the fault of the right.

Oh. Did I hear that one of the people who worked in a steel mill which made a part of the ship once voted conservative? That's why the entire ship was doomed.

Comrade Opiate and FPT: I hear George Clooney and Susan Saradon are competing for the role of Captain Schettino. James Cameron is directing and his focus will be on the sea life that was killed by the shipwreck and will completely ignore all the human death and suffering....

PR, that's genius. Here's an idea. Have a movie about the family of one-clawed Mediterranean crustaceans which was damaged by the ship. They were protected under the Law of the Sea. The single claw is congenital and all of the crustaceans have had image problems with the other crustaceans laughing at them.

"Look, Jake! Bonzo only has one claw! What happen, Bonzo? You wear the other one off abusing yourself?"

And some of the things said by the flounders were just scandalous.

We could show how the one-clawed crustaceans--some of them are two-lesbian families by the way--were coming to terms with their disability and after years of therapy with the flounders and the one-clawed crustaceans, all were just about ready to enter the world with Elysian fields filled with rainbow-farting unicorns.

But then the ship came and destroyed all the work that the certified one-clawed-crustacean social workers did.

Obviously it is the fault of capitalism, and on the count of three...George W. Bush.

Excerpts from the James Cameron re-write:

" Captain Schettino acted heroically by swerving the Costa Concordia towards the rocks so as to avoid collision with a school of Mediterranean sardines. With complete disregard for his own welfare, he was among the first to board a lifeboat so that he could verify their safety by observing them from a closer point of view.
Furthermore, upon examination of the ship's black box, it was also learned that the captain's first announcement to the passengers was indeed correct ...... it was "an electrical problem".

" The fact that ripping open the ship's hull to the sea precipitated this "problem" was not announced so as to avoid adding confusion to the situation."

According to the great and always changing constitution of the collective members of the Socialist/Communist proliteriat, we are all equal. Women are to be encouraged to
to farm, to soldier, and to bear children at the same time. Now with their new found freedom and equality under the great liberal system they must also bear some of the burden. If that means getting kicked out of a lifeboat by a stronger male comrade, then the system has worked.
Captain Schettino expressed that 'equality' sentiment beautifully in a just and socialist manner.

Do not forget that, in James' rewrite, the good captain will be 10 feet tall, dark blue, and will emote wildly when the sardines have been killed anyway.

This one will have as the star the Sand Hills Lizard, which Dear O'Leader is planning to turn from a previously unknown 3" reptile to something which will shut down the oil production in ten counties in oil-rich Texas and SE New Mexico. Since the Sand Hills Lizard has been shown to have such power, it will be used to shut down other advances, such as nuclear plants, coal plants, and even any structure which some NIMBYist finds offensive, anywhere at any time.

We will blubber over the Sand Hills Lizard while fiercely supporting cops' right to use choke holds on people who believe that a partial-birth abortion is infanticide.

"It's not a baby until I say it is."

"It's not an achievement until I say it is."

"It's not yours if I can get it from you."

Krasnodar wrote: Furthermore, upon examination of the ship's black box, it was also learned that the captain's first announcement to the passengers was indeed correct ...... it was "an electrical problem".

" The fact that ripping open the ship's hull to the sea precipitated this "problem" was not announced so as to avoid adding confusion to the situation."

Electrical problem.... and who was it that discovered the evil genie of electricity? Benjamin "Dead White Male" Franklin! And another Dead White Male, Edison, conspired with the 19th century robber barrons to put this evil into wires and force it upon the unsuspecting populace who became addicted to it and that is why we live as slaves to Big Electric today. It's a conspiracy of immense proportions, immense I tell you! And Captain Schettino attempted to expose the conspiracy and for that, he had to be silenced - the powers that be created this ship disaster and set him up as the fall guy. He is, simultaneously, a hero and a victim.

Opiate, you are so right. This goes along with Dear O'leader's statement that we need more jobs by, oh, getting rid of ATMs. We could have more jobs by getting rid of electricity. And let's get rid of the wheel! After all, the Egyptians didn't need it. We could have 100% employment if we got rid of electricity and the wheel.

Of course we'd all work 20 hours a day and live in dirt hovels with pig shit on the floor, but since the proles would be doing that, that's just fine by me.

I'd be going around telling the proles that the reason things are bad is George W. Bush.