The People's Cube - Political Satire

Break out the Obamacards and your EBT Cards! Dear Leader (PBUH) has found the way to finance his campaign by tax dollars!

Obama campaign rolls out Square mobile fundraising platform

If the milliionaires and billiionaires have their corporate jets taxed, we downsize the defense department, and a few other useless items like the FBI and the CIA (keep the treasury department, they own the Secret Service, and they keep FLATUS in lobster and fries as they wait on her hand and oversized foot...) then we turn the money into EBT cards, give them to the poor (because we care) then collect it all back by fundraising,



it's BRILLIANT!


By Lenin, we can stand our operatives outside of fast food restaurants, liquor stores free clinics and pawn shops, scanning EBT cards on our government issued iphones and rake in enough to shame the morons who voted against campaign finance reform (except Dear Leader, who was wise to go against conventional wisdom...) and raise bunches of money!

Follow the trail of crying kaptialists to see where the money came from and ended up!

We will finance Next Tuesday™ in STYLE!

Even better comrade, we can process involuntary automatic credit card contributions from those who are not aware they are making them those who are anxious to donate but were too busy mourning Kim Jong Il to do so.... Hey, WHO just charged $1000 for Obama 2012 to my Marxicard????

I say implement the TSA style of 'manipulating re-election funds' ... err I mean 'voluntary campaign contributions! The masses can be "randomly" screened upon walking into any building of the proletariat and offered a choice to either walk through a scanner that can see into their wallet and use their credit cards or they can choose to avoid the scammer ... err I mean scanner ... and be subject to <ahem> a personal examination by our highly trained TSA type agents ... err the defenders of the proletariat.

Let's just let the IRS do the fundraising for Glorious Leader. They've already got everyone in their database plus the firepower proper state apparatus to coerce efficiently receive all those heartfelt donations. After all, there is a great historical precedence:

jizyah: Poll tax that early Islamic rulers demanded from their non-Muslim subjects. This tax applied especially to followers of Judaism, Christianity, and Zoroastrianism, who were tolerated in the practice of their religion because they were “peoples of the book.” Originally intended to be used for charitable purposes, the revenues from the jizya were paid into the private treasuries of rulers, and the Ottoman sultans used the proceeds to pay military expenses. Many converted to Islam in order to escape the tax.