The People's Cube - Political Satire

Seriously, who are the one percenters we keep talking about at official and unofficial Party gatherings? I need a list of names to use for the weekly Fifteen Minutes of Hate, but so far I know more names of those who are NOT one of the one percent than names of those who ARE.

So far...

• Warren Buffett.... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• George Soros.... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Michael Moore.... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Elizabeth Warren.... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Susan Sarandon.... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Ayatollah Khamenei... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Barack Obama... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Louis Farrakhan... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Joe Biden... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Hugo Chavez... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Nancy Pelosi... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Kayne West... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Norman Lear... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Danny Glover... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Roseanne Barr.... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Tim Robbins... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Alec Baldwin.... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Miley Cyrus... is NOT one of the one per cent.
  
• Yoko Ono... is NOT one of the one per cent.

You get the picture. Now, which names do I have that ARE part of the one per cent?

• The Koch Brothers
  
• Joe the Plumber

Comrades, we cannot get too many Fifteen Minutes of Hate sessions out of two names. There must be SOME greedy filthy rich people who are manipulating the government, economy and the People for their own benefit (the longer list of names above obviously are not) because that is what the media and our OWS comrades keep telling us, BUT I NEED NAMES DAMMIT!

We can't hold fifteen minutes of hate sessions without someone to hate! Let's get with the program, OK?

Comrade Opiate: Please add the radical far right economist Milton Freidman to the posthumous list. This bourgeois pig had the nerve to say: "“If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in five years there'd be a shortage of sand.” Clearly a 1%-er if there ever was......

Everyone in Faux News, every RethugliKKKan, and every Teabagger are part of the 1%. Surely you got that memo?

Besides, since have we needed ANY names for the 15 Minutes of Hate? I could spend at least 15 HOURS on KKKapitalism alone, and that isn't even a person! Are you going soft, Comrade?

Also, Jane Fonda is NOT one of the 1%. Just so you remember.

Bush.

And that's pretty much all you need.

All taxpayers who are not currently paying 99% of their income in taxes (unless they are contributors to proper causes). Or for that matter, anyone whose primary source of income does not come from the government, (unless they contribute heavily to proper causes).

Ahem... Certain new information has arrived that warrants a correction or at least a disambiguation. We don't really want to take on ALL of the one percenters - at least not until we outlaw guns and motorcycles.


In all other cases, refer to a korrekt view of the issue below and disregard the inkorrekt one.

KORREKT: How to Be a 1 Percenter

INKORREKT: The real ‘1 percent': Beyond the class-war myths

Oh, for crying out loud. Must I do everything around here? Must I be the one to draw the stick figures on the chalkboard and deploy the handpuppets and spell out the painfully, absurdly obvious to everyone?

MITT ROMNEY

MITT ROMNEY

Do I have to say it again? MITT FREAKIN' ROMNEY!

Or, as he will be known should he succeed in stealing the election with the same ruthless ease he stole his fortune from the aching backs of all 99 percenters--Mittler. Mittler Robbedme.

(OK, so it's a work in progress.)

Ted Nugent
Tom Selleck
Sarah Palin
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Gary Senise

(" I'm helping!")

Mitt Romney! OMG, he even sounds like a one-percenter! What kind of monster would name a child "Mitt"? One that wished him to grow up and plunder and rob the poor and the middle class until the money he stole burst through the pockets of his million-dollar suits, that's who!

Hey, that's not even his real name - it's WILLARD MITT ROMNEY! Why is this man running around using an alias???? What has he got to hide, besides the money-grubbing deals he's made with enemies of the People like the Koch Brothers? Why can't he use his right name like President Barack Obama does? I WANT TO SEE THIS ROMNEY'S BIRTH CERTIFICATE!!!!!

What's more, do you know who "Willard" was? It was a movie... here is the synopsis from IMDB:

A social misfit, Willard is made fun of by his co-workers, and squeezed out of the company started by his deceased father by his boss. His only friends are a couple of rats he raised at home, Ben and Socrates. (And their increasing number of friends) However, when one of them is killed at work, he goes on a rampage using his rats to attack those who have been tormenting him.

This is proof Romney is using an assumed name because he has an army of rats who are going to EAT the entire middle class and sell the bones to the Koch Brothers to make fertilizer out of!

Gosh, there's enough right there for enough Fifteen Minutes of Hate to last until November 2012! Mitt Romney! What a great stroke of luck that the Occupy Movement's mass People's campaign against the One Percent ™arose in a year when the capitalist counter-revolutionaries in the Rethuglican Party decided to CHOOSE one to oppose our valiant middle class warrior, Dear Leader Barack Obama! What a coincidence, eh?

Opiate of the People wrote: WILLARD Mitt Romney!

Mitt Romney is using an assumed name because he has an army of rats who are going to EAT the entire middle class and sell the bones to the Koch Brothers to make fertilizer out of.

The horror of the bloodthirsty carnage of the working class and the poor under "1% WILLARD"
would be an epic nightmare almost rivaling "BOOOSH".

Ronald Raygun

Ronald Raygun

Do I have to say it again? Ronald Freakin' Raygun.

(Sorry about that Pinky )

If you say it enough times, the uneducated will believe it.

Occupy makes villians of the wealthy 1% the same as did Hitler the Jews and for the same reason: To rob them.

Wealthy 1% is code for the Jews who purportedly run Wall Street.

Wait till Occupy find out how Mugabe robbed the rich!

Identifying the 1% is a question for a Decimal Point Czar!

Comrades! We must add Aleck Baldwin to the list of the excluded (you know, that angry guy who does the commercials for kapitalist banking systems). Come to think of it, let's just call the whole damn place Hollywoodgrad and forget it exists.

My apologies, I see Comrade Baldwin has already been included. It's just that the list is so long...

I am shocked not to find Kelsey Grammer in the 1%. I have heard him, unblushingly, state that he is a KKKonservative. My lord but the balls that takes. That's worse than confessing to being a pederast and zoophile.

Of course when confessing to being a zoophile you really have few worries. Remember that Nanski Peloski has children and even our dear Many Titted Empress once spread her leviathan thighs and let issue forth their daughter Knightsbridge.

Judging from recent events the OWS crowd seems to think the cops are the one percent. Go get 'em OWS!