The People's Cube - Political Satire

MOUNT HOLLY, N.C. — President Barack Obama on Wednesday made his most urgent appeal yet for the nation to wean itself from oil, calling it a "fuel of the past" and demanding that the United States broaden its approach to energy through the development of alternate bio fuels powered engines.

Obama, promoting his energy policies in a politically prominent state that will host the Democratic National Convention, called on Congress to provide $1 billion in grants to local communities to encourage greater use of Bio-fuel-efficient technologies. The administration's goal is to make bio-fuel vehicles as affordable and convenient as gasoline-powered vehicles by 2020.

Researchers at the Peoples Navy Engineering Department has heard the President's appeal and being justly inspired by his leadership, has now developed a revolutionary engine which maximizes fuel efficiency when powered on a renewable bio-fuel.

Dubbed The OMNIVORE hybrid concept, it employs a novel engine architecture that is designed to power an electric turbine after insertion of the bio-fuel. The turbine will then charge a lithium battery pack along with the torque to power the drive train reducing the charging times during times of idleness.

The engine is the perfect bridge towards overcoming consumer reluctance towards purchasing an electric car. The OMNIVORE engine is also ideally suited to Bio flex-fuel operation as the bio fuel source can also include the use of hamsters or squirrels.

What will liberals dream up next? Many of you may have already seen shoes that store the energy of walking or running. Now they've dreamt up a marvelous machine that can use the energy of breathing to recharge electronic devices. And more good news is on the way! Scientists say they are on the verge of a urethral implant that will capture the energy of urination and a rectal implant that will collect the energy of your bowel movements. America's energy future is in your bio-friendly bodily functions. Waste not, want not.

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:Obama, promoting his energy policies in a politically prominent state that will host the Democratic National Convention, called on Congress to provide $1 billion in grants to local communities to encourage greater use of Bio-fuel-efficient technologies.

Comrade Woogums, a point of clarification, if I may, lest those less equally connected to Dear Leader misunderstand: this $1 billion in grants to local communities IS NOT $1 billion in total, it is $1 billion PER LOCAL COMMUNITY.

These new energy policies are incredibly important, as the recent condom recycling effort brought to light during the Sandra Fluke eruption has proven - and $1 billion per community is only a start. After His re-election, Phase Two will commence, with amazingly eco-friendly benefits for all.

And speaking of all, that is all - for now.

I missed the fine print, Please comrade, reassure me that the Party has excluded Wasilla Alaska, Crawford Texas, and anyplace in Arizona from this stimulus...

Where ARE my glasses?

Nowhere in Arizona, huh ?

Well it looks like yours truly is out of the loop !

Krasno, my comrade, the savages of the Arpaio tribe are out of control. The government denies rights to migrant voters, and the cost of auto insurance is prohibitive. And where was the old guy who ran with Palin come from? The party will restrain from supporting such a red state that beets look pale in comparisons.

Behold, the ultimate shovel ready power on Lenin's round earth!

Comrade Chu says a five year plan with a further investment of only @ $5-9 million billion trillion will bring the ultimate renewable bio-fuel to the proletariat.

Keep digging, my friends.

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