The People's Cube - Political Satire

The world-reknown police agency Scotland Yard of Oceania has taken a dramatic step in the People's fight against racism by banning the word "whitelist." It is expected that all will understand that the word "blacklist" is also banned even though no one said so specifically for fear of using the contraband word and being accused of racism...

In an email, Scotland Yard warned staff the words were no longer “appropriate”.

Security services chief Brian Douglas wrote: “IB (Information Board) are uncomfortable with the use of the term Whitelist (and I presume Blacklist).
Source: The UK Sun.

Realizing that the inability to use the newly-declared double-plus-ungood words might hamper police operations, crack management teams went to work to uncover suitable alternatives:

“I am sure we can appreciate the sensitivity around the use of such terminology today so please ensure it is no longer used.” He suggested using green and red list instead.

Heads will roll as it was immediately apparent this effort was a total failure as it showed hateful insensitivity to those of the green or red persuasion, depending on which one of those words takes the place of "w***elist" and which one for "b***klist." In the U.S., People's Party Massachusetts Senate Candidate Elizabeth "Neutral-Colored Elk" Warren immediately denounced the potential slander on what she described as "the proudest 1/32 of my heritage."

Regardless of how this situation is resolved, experts predict the controversy will inspire a grass-roots spontaneous demand from the masses to purge the People's language of all racist idioms. The expected uprisings are anticipated to be violent, including confused and pointless street demonstrations featuring cartoon-like mayhem, owing to the masses' repressed hatred of racist language which has been long ignored by the bourgeois establishment coupled with the need of The People to remove their attention from trivial concerns such as the terrible world economy caused by George W. Bush.

All comrades are urged to take part in the massive cultural clean-up and invade schools, libraries and the homes of others as necessary in search of texts containing words that should be banned because of violent, hateful, racist connotations. Words such as "blackout", "black tie", "blacktop" and "blackened pork chops", long used to divide society by race, must now be purged from the common vocabulary if we are ever to achieve racial justice. The time is now. Your duty is clear. Which side are YOU on?

Praise be to the EU power elite!

Dear Leader and his comerad, comerad Holder, have said they will not bring charges against 'their people' which shows they will not discriminate against black people in anyway. Isn't that what it it all about? Everyone knows whites have no rights so you cannot discriminate against them. Dear leader knows this and has promised not to change anything. Isn't that 'big' of the dear leader? He did, however, promise never to say 'white-boy'. Isn't that great? I am white and I am soooo proud of the great leader.

Comrades,

Is she not insulting the Chief of her tribe by indicating the small size of his tomahawk?

All reference to color has been suspended until further notice. Also the letters "A" and "B" have been banned to avoid the impression of grading.

Comrade Comrade, you appear to have missed the memo directive - the infamous "Circle Slash" has been banned for being exclusive.

In addition - only soft, non-threatening, and non-racially-biased pastel colors hues are allowed.

Comrade R.O.C.K.

Your use of a symbol resembling the letter "X" in this context is UNACCEPTABLE! This is a racist slander against a critically-acclaimed Spike Lee movie as well as an affront to our many supporters who choose not to sign their names when voting for Obama. REPORT FOR RE-EDUCATION AND BEET HARVESTING DUTY IMMEDIATELY!

Writing acceptability is indeed tricky in this sensitive environment. I propose we ban writing altogether. In truth, what use is writing anyway. Such unproductive behavior will not be allowed after the revolution. Didn't I read some study recently that writing killed the dinosaurs? Maybe that was flatulence. There is so much new science coming out it is hard to keep up.