The People's Cube - Political Satire

In an unprecedented move, the Obama campaign (PBUH) has launched a data mining operation which, according to Politico, knows "what you read and where you shop, what kind of work you do and who you count as friends. They also know who your mother voted for in the last election."

In the photo above, the team of 150 data mining techies is hard at work, scouring the interwebs for details of the lives of all Americans, living and dead, as an SEIU member stands watch.

Known as "ObamaNet" to those closest to the project, the data mining is intended to learn the minutest details of all potential voters' lives, in order to develop specific voter profiles which will allow fine-tuning messages - email, tweets, television, radio, ultra and supersonic radio waves, etc. - broadcast into the minds of all Americans who might potentially vote this coming November.

The original Politico article is here.

Presidential spokesmouth Jay "Carney" Carney barked that "Hey, we know pretty much everything there is to know about everybody anyway, what with Google being in our pocket and the thousands of drones we now have flying over the country. ObamaNet will just help us to ensure that everyone votes properly in the coming presidential election".

Carney commented "off the record" that some of the footage he's seen from the drone infrared cameras "is better than the Playboy channel".

Another slew of green jobs created by Dear Leader! Mining data is clean, as opposed to mining coal (ptui!) or useful metals, which are dirty. As the enlightened elite at Party HQ likes to say, when it comes to data, "What's yours is MINED!"

BTW comrade, good job not mentioning how some of the data we are mining are credit card numbers and bank account numbers (hee, hee, hee!) We wouldn't want the world to find out that their funds are also being mined, along with their data (snicker, snicker.)

I, like Dear Leader (PBUH) find it offensive that there is any accusation of wrongdoing from HIS (PBUH) administration. If the Party identifies significant information found in data wrongfully collected by the Bush Administration policies and their remnants, they simply found it, and will be returning it to its rightful place after the election so as not to reveal its content to that extreme conservative Romney <spit>

We need to mine even deeper and get the little ones Planned Parenthood missed to rat out their parental units.

Remember comrades: if you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide!

Ahhh, comrades - it appears that the Soviet UnionRussia is returning to its glorious roots!

The Russian government is breaking down doors and raiding the homes of >spit< dissidents; we can only hope that Dear Leader follows the lead of Comrade Putin!

Of course, it is likely that Dear Leader actually suggested these actions to Comrade Putin, since he is SO ahead of the curve!

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:

ObamaHackers.jpg

In an unprecedented move, the Obama campaign (PBUH) has launched a data mining operation which, according to Politico, knows "what you read and where you shop, what kind of work you do and who you count as friends. They also know who your mother voted for in the last election."

Comrade!

Progress is being made in determining if a thought crime has been committed as well!

People are usually reluctant to admit their real feelings in surveys, but there's no doubt that our experiences and our prejudices play a part in the way we vote. In order to figure out whether racial bias affected Barack Obama's results in the 2008 presidential election, Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, a doctoral candidate in economics at Harvard University, passed over easy-to-manipulate surveys and looked at data from another source: online searches.

Thanks to the New York Times we have proof that West Virginia is a racist territory that would rather vote for a convicted felon than for Dear Leader.

It recently held its Democratic presidential primary, in which Mr. Obama was challenged by a convicted felon. The felon, who is white, won 41 percent of the vote.

For Lenin's sake, I just got used to going FORWARD.

The way the light goes in the end of the tunnel at a slant, it must go all the way to...

China

As usual, the Reich Wing hysteria was calmly quelled at today's presser. Nothing to see here. Yawn.


DC Debbie