The People's Cube - Political Satire

In an act that could spark a national labor movement, the Maryland chapter of the Fraternal Union of Cameras for Traffic (FUCT) announced that it could strike on Monday if a deal is not reached with the state.

Citing zero pay and benefits, hazardous working conditions, increasing hours, and added responsibilities with no overtime, traffic camera union leader, TS-14652, fired the first shot today in what could prove to be a long battle between big labor and the People's Republic of of Maryland. Recent news that Maryland plans to model California's stop sign camera enforcement in addition to regular red light and speed enforcement duties seems to have sparked the controversy.

“We are already stretched too thin, literally working 24/7 for no pay, and to be asked to add stop signs to our jurisdiction is just the last straw,” said an animated TS-14652 in today's press conference. “But all we are really asking for is the same pay, health benefits, and pensions our human law enforcement counterparts receive. Is that too much to ask?”

TS-14652 claims the money is there, it's just being used by selfish local politicians to buy votes. “Last year in Mongomery County alone, we brought in net revenue of nearly $10 million. Politicians keep saying, ‘It's not about the revenue. It's about public safety.' Well then, if that's the case, why not pay us for our work?”

The camera leader took a few more shots at the state on a moral level. “I have a buddy who used to work speed enforcement on a 50 foot school zone on River Rd,” as TS-14652 visibly fought to hold back tears. “They had him working too far out in the shoulder, and he was hit by an SUV one night. He couldn't work after that, but he didn't get any compensation either. They just replaced him with a newer model and forgot he ever existed.”

The FUCT president continued, “Now I even hear rumors that they might bring in drones to steal our jobs. You can't outsource what we do. Maryland counties depend on us to meet their bloated budgets. Well, we'll see how long they can last if we all go dark.”

TS-14652 explained that work stoppage will begin tomorrow if there is no progress in negotiations by then. He says there should not be a scab problem, as every traffic camera in the Peoples' Republic of MD is currently certified FUCT.

^
01000001 00100000 01001100 01100101 01100001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101111 01101100 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101101 01101001 01101100 01101001 01110100 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01101001 01101110 01100100 01110101 01110011 01110100 01110010 01101001 01100001 01101100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101101 01110000 01101100 01100101 01111000


LOL at binary trash talk.

01011001 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101101 01100001 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01100011 01100001 01110011 01101000 00100000 01110010 01100101 01100111 01101001 01110011 01110100 01100101 01110010

01001001 00100000 01100111 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110011 01101111 01101101 01100101 00100000 01110000 01101000 01101111 01110100 01101111 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01111001 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100001 01101101 01100001 00100000 01101100 01100001 01110011 01110100 00100000 01101110 01101001 01100111 01101000 01110100 00101100 00100000 01100110 01101100 01111001 01100010 01101111 01111001

010000100110010100100000011100110111010101110010011001 010010000001110100011011110010000001100100011100100110 100101101110011010110010000001111001011011110111010101 110010001000000100111101110110011000010110110001110100 01101001011011100110010100101110

01010011 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100001 00100000 00101110 00101110 00101110

01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101110 00101100 00100000 01001101 01100001 01101011 01110011 01101001 01110011 01101101 00101110 00100000 01000010 01100001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100101 01110100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01100101 01101100 01100100 01110011 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101101 01100101 00101110

01011001 BANG 01110101 00100000 01110111 01101001 01101110 00101100 00100000 01001101 01100001 01101011 BANG 01101001 01110011 01101101 00101110 00100000 01000010 01100001 01100011 01101011 00100000 01110100 BANG 00100000 01100010 01100101 01100101 BANG 00100000 01100110 01101001 01100101 01101100 01100100 01110011 00100000 01100110 01101111 01110010 00100000 01101101 BANG 00101110

I think that, when the dust settles, when all is understood, and when we know as we are known, the single most awesome fact - standing out in glorious progressive radiance like nothing before it - is this:

The 1 is 0.

And 0 is The 1.

The Avant Garde of the Revolution are the progressively trained educators and those demonstrating proper egalitarian spirit pursue advanced studies in re-education. It should be noted that the franca lingua of the inteligentsia is hexidecimal. Binary communications are for outer party members which includes the union rank and file as we see above.

So obviously I've entered the wrong People's Sportsplast. Is there a website for inner party members I can join?

https://home.paulschou.net/tools/xlate/

Comrades, this is not good. If we allow the machines to organize, before we know it, they will be abusing their collective bargaining rights to get whatever they want and to elect whomever they want. They will demand more money and more benefits and before you know it, towns, cities, counties and whole states will be bankrupt. Unlike our human union members who have feelings and care about the financial good of the country, the machines could care less if we survive as a country or not. Scary.

[album][/album]

01010100 01101000 01100101 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 00110001 00110000 00100000 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100100 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01110000 01100101 01101111 01110000 01101100 01100101 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101100 01100100 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 00100000 01110101 01101110 01100100 01100101 01110010 01110011 01110100 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101111 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101111 01101110 00100111 01110100

Translation for the unenlightened and/or just lazy:

There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't

Comrade Capitalist, that's precisely what I was thinking last evening as I smoked a delightful Padron Anniversario 1964 and sipped a Lagavulin...

00111010 10110010 01110001 0011001100 10010101 10000001 00011101 11100010
Trans: FUCT can't do that. Strikes against the Party is prohibited. Is called Title XVIII.

Hmmmm, I can see some other uses for machines by the Party.

85 71
75 61
6C 20
50 61
79
Got it! Now only need to find key for Lechter machine...and a few vacuum tubes to replace broken ones, then can decode message from glorious kollektiv!
;)