The People's Cube - Political Satire

Of course we are all still celebrating Dear Leader's glorious victory in last Wednesday's debate with the vile Republican capitalist upstart using our Party approved talking points. However, it became very clear to my fellow members of the Alinsky Debate Directorate (a subdivision of the People's Propaganda Directorate) that a much wider margin (sound completely unnecessary) would be needed for the next presidential debate.

Naturally our people in the Presidential Debate Committee will be supplying Dear Leader with the questions ahead of time. We have also managed to make some last minute changes and are replacing Candy Crowley (our CNN Chief Political Correspondent) with the president's senior collections donations officer George Clooney.

But in leaving nothing to chance, we have come up with a completely fool proof way of rigging helping Dear Leader (not that he needs it) to achieve absolute victory. Who could forget the way George Bush cheated in the 2004 debates against the People's Hero John Kerry using hidden microphones?

We will not be so clumsy or amateurish (which is what one would expect from Republicans) in our approach. Because teleprompters, ear pieces and wires are easily spotted, we have come "up" with the "Presidential Debate Plug."

The device has multiple "endpoints." It will keep Dear Leader standing at attention, wide awake, alert and focused! When inserted properly the "PDP" uses the pelvic splanchnic nerves to transmit data to Dear Leader's brain. Why Obama's brain can be stimulated by nerves supplying the lower bowels is the topic of much speculation here at the directorate.

"Upwards and inwards" to victory Comrades!!

Comrade Robot,

The Party commends you on your ingenuity. Developing a device that can be inserted so close to the anatomic location of Dear Leader's brain was a stroke of pure genius.

Of course, before you lose your most equal status as a humble Prolebot, remember:

Proletarian Robot wrote:The device has multiple "endpoints." It will keep Dear Leader standing at attention, wide awake, alert and focused! When inserted properly the "PDP" uses the pelvic splanchnic nerves to transmit data to Dear Leader's brain. Why Obama's brain can be stimulated by nerves supplying the lower bowels is the topic of much speculation here at the directorate.

"Upwards and inwards" to victory Comrades!!

Comrade Robot,

There is no doubt this device will keep Dear Leader™ standing at attention. By the looks of it, it is quite apparent the usefulness of the multiple "endpoints" in keeping him wide awake, alert, focused — and extremely stimulated, thereby allowing us — the booboisie — to be stimulated as well all the way to Next Tuesday™.

Indeed this device can be perceived as something requiring insertion into nether regions of unspecified origins.

However, I wouldn't want to be the one having to tell the First Horse (FHOTUS) what her Presidential Dildo is going to be used for.

Comrade Robot, I'm assuming that the device will be fully pre-charged with solar energy, preferably via Solyndra™ light tubes? I would hate to contemplate the President using evil non-recyclable lithium batteries.

Just curious. And I wonder if the light tube could actually be left connected to the device, enabling a continuing flow of energy from the intense stage lighting at the debate(s)?

Comrade R.O.C.K.,

Yes of course the designing process was carried out with our "Green Agenda" in mind. The first beta test model had a gerbil in an exercise wheel attached to it. Our test subject the militant homosexual for our cause Comrade Dan Savage, he found the fit very comfortable but he stated the noise was a little distracting as he is already hearing voices from heterosexual straw men in his head...... furthermore once inserted into our second test subject, we never heard back from Comrade Richard Gere.

We contemplated using your idea but with a wind turbine. This way the blades would turn from hot air moving out of both of Dear Leader's orifices. However the end product's look was a little too distracting. We haven't scrapped it yet as it would likely not even be noticed on Comrade Biden during his debate!

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Tool? Who needs a tool? Not our Glorious Leader, and especially so against this Romney!!!!! If anyone needs a tool, it is this Romney Kharakter! Our Glorious Leader's Superior Intellekt was on display for all to see, and he proved it by letting this Romney person klaim "viktory"! But we know who won the Viktory!!! Komrade Obama!!! Give tools to the weak minded like this Romney! Give aids to those who lose "debates", lose selektions, and lose the desire of the people! Glorious and Hallowed Leader, Komrade Obama, NEEDS NO TOOLS! He showed so last week, and he will do so again in the next debate, and Party Sekretariat Komrade Biden will do to this kharakter Ryan this week!

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VIKTORY KOMRADE OBAMA! VIKTORY KOMRADE BIDEN! VIKTORY KOMRADE PELOSI! THE NEW NOVEMBER REVOLUTION WILL BY A VIKTORY TO REMEMBER![hr][/hr][/color]

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If anybody'd need a tool after that first debate, it HAS to be the President! He'll need all the tools he can musteron the 16th...

So this is the "south side" Chicago approach?

If memory serves, there is a "Hello Kitty" model for FLATUS...

Comrade Tovarichi: I think it's actually the "My Pretty Pony" model.....