The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, I'm packing my bags in case this Romney thug becomes president. I haven't decided where I'll go yet. Maybe Cuba. Maybe North Korea. Anywhere more progressive than living under the Romney regime.

Apparently many other comrades are planning a mass exodus

"If Romney is elected.. I'm done. Like, I'm leaving this damn country."

"Almost election time. If fuck romney wins I'm leaving the country"

"I'm leaving the country if Romney wins. #notkidding #fuckthatshit"

"Romney get in office, im goin to get my passport.. I'm leaving yall ass.."

"if Mitt Romney wins this election, I'm leaving the country and moving to Canada."

"If Romney wins .. I'm fer sure moving to Canada ."

"Romney plans is only for the rich.... Rich people don't care until they go broke... If he wins I'm def moving to canada"

"If Mitt Romney wins I swear I'm moving to Canada #TeamObamama"

"VOTE FOR OBAMA, NOT MITT! This country is going to collapse to pieces if mitt Romney is president. I will move to Scotland if chosen."

"I'd rather live in Ireland's horrible economy then live under Romney as president. So if he wins, a select few can visit me in Ireland."

"I'm moving to Italy if Romney win; Italian men love black girls"

"OBAMA IS BLACK. ROMNEY IS WHITE. IM MOVING TO AUSTRALIA."

"If Romney wins this election I'm moving to Australia for 4 years because last time Bush took it nobody said shit but me and Jesse Jackson"

"If Romney wins this election, I'm moving to New Zealand because this fucker is not taking away the shit that I believe in."

"I want to shoot Romney in the penis. Why do we let him talk? If he wins I'm moving to New Zealand."

"I'd rather be homeless in Mexico than live in the USA if Romney is elected."

"If Mitt Romney gets elected I will move to Cuba !"

"If Mitt Romney becomes president we all might as well move to Cuba."

"If romney becum president im movin out da usa, shit send me to cuba w fidell and his bro idgaf"

"If Romney win, I'm moving to Australia . I'm not bout to be a slave bruh"

"Romney's Bitch ass better NOT win ~.~ If he does . . Im leaving this place"

"If romney wins i'm leaving to cuba."

"If Romney gets elected I'm moving to England omg i cant be in the US with him leading it...so I guess it's a win either way"

"If Romney is elected I'm taking my uterus and moving to Mars"

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UPDATE:
Given the overwhelming response, this post has been illustrated (above)
- Red Square

Comrades, you should simply move to California. It's just like being in another country, Venezuela, for example.

This is most disturbing. And the difficulty of moving our beloved gulag and all it's recipients. I am not sure where to go -- but I am hearing there is greener camel dung in Iraq. Possibly it is tent time with mohammad?

Abraham Lincoln thought it would be a good idea if the freed slaves were to relocate to a new country in Africa. Liberia. Meaning liberty.

Jonestown in Guiana has been vacant for years. Let's rename it FreeStuff or Dependistan or something like that and let all these slaves of the State move there once they're freed and have to stand on their own two feet like men.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:This is most disturbing. And the difficulty of moving our beloved gulag and all it's recipients. I am not sure where to go -- but I am hearing there is greener camel dung in Iraq. Possibly it is tent time with mohammad?

That looks like paradise compared to the world that Mitt Romney will usher in, with his uh, free markets and encouragement for small businesses. Look how nice it looks there. No Sports Authorities. No Staples. No Dunkin Donuts. No small mom and pop shops. No cars. No free speech.

My new boyfriend owns a summer home in Cuba so we will be going there... besides, that's where all the cool old American cars are!

Comrades! Even entertaining the idea suggests that these quoted people are not People™ If such a thing which could only happen by theft of The-Will-of-The-People were to happen it would be our duty to go UNDERGROUND and live with the other worms until such time as our One-And-Only-One saves us from ourselves the evil forces which would destroy the Otopia of The One. We have the shovels; we have cell phones and fool stamps. Beet On! (While others beet otherwise).

This is fantastic idea! I could not agree more whole-heartedly that it would be great for ALL supporters of Obama to leave the country.

Leeroy Jenkinsky wrote:This is fantastic idea! I could not agree more whole-heartedly that it would be great for ALL supporters of Obama to leave the country.

Who would have us? All the decent countries like North Korea, China, and Russia have seen us pooping on police cars and want nothing to do with us. Thanks, OWS!

Perhaps we start our own People's Republic of Loyal People of the Party of the People™ (and the Children™ )?

I will move to Hawaii and squat in dear ex-leader's vacation home to continue to fan the flames of Hope and Change!

Comrade Marx, that is brilliant. Just think, the 47% could have shovel ready jobs come November. Lets start digging.

Why don't you start one of those 3 dollar donation contests like the Obama campaign? Send in 3 dollars for the chance to win an all paid move to another country when Mitt Romney wins!

Then you'll have a large pool of money and when the inevitable happens, Obama loses his ass on November 6th, you'll have all that money everyone sent you and you can skip out and live in style.

The eloquence of the Twitter statements listed above speak well of the general intelligence and civilized demeanor that is so prevalent among Obama's base.

Perhaps we could travel to Mexico and live off the government down there. I'm sure that they will be as helpful to us as we have been towards their " immigrant " citizens.

As a classy comrade, I have standards. If Romney wins I will move to a Muslim country, maybe Egypt, because in Romney America, the GOP Christofascists wouldn't let me convert to Islam. Becoming a Muslim is the hippest, most progressive "in" thing to do lately (not that I'm doing it, I just want to keep my options open).

Besides, Muslim countries don't have oppressive Republicans who always try to keep this good girl down and tell me what to do with my body. In Muslim countries, Christians know their place.

Once I move, no right-wingers will ever again lay their hands on my lady parts.

NancyPeloski wrote:Comrades, I'm packing my bags in case this Romney thug becomes president. I haven't decided where I'll go yet. Maybe Cuba. Maybe North Korea. Anywhere more progressive than living under the Romney regime.

Apparently many other comrades are planning a mass exodus:

https://twitchy.com/2012/10/10/leavin-on-a-jet-plane-obama-supporters-vow-exodus-from-us-if-romney-wins/


"If Romney is elected I'm taking my uterus and moving to Mars"

Julia - is that you?


New from
Ursula the Uterus

I suppose we ought to start thinking about how this site will adjust and adapt once "dear leader" becomes a private citizen... I do so enjoy the perspective from the other side, but only as Tovarichi. As a voting citizen, there is plenty that I can't stand, and have stood long enough.

Is Nicaragua still of the Party, or have they gone Kapitalist too? El Salvador is still pretty close to a Diktatorship, Lets keep that in mind...

FORWARD!

If Romney wins, the prog exodus should be to South Africa, since it has already been fundamentally transformed into what Obama was only trying to imitate in the US. So why settle for an imitation if you can have the real thing?

Besides, it has a much superior constitution...

Oh, and I just inserted an illustration into the original post.

Our new neighbor just arrived and he has a three-tone automobile...
Life is good in CUBA!

"Por Favor Senor Oso, a Donde es Havana?"

If Dear Leader loses and I have to move, I won't ever get a chance to feast in the new People's Cube Memorial Dining Room at the White House!
(Remember... if you can't find your avatar it's probably on one of the other three walls... he he.)

Comrades,

How reminiscent are these bleatings by the human debris; the anti-Amerikkkan squatters, that it isn't a deja vú from when the Bushitler stole his second term? We heard the exact same thing from the same people, however, none of them seemed to have the veracity to uphold their vows.

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Excerpted from the Manbottle Library Ever wonder what happened to all those celebrities who promised to leave the country if George W. Bush was elected president?

The original statements:

Eddie Vedder - "I'm moving to a different country if little Damien II gets elected."

Alec Baldwin - was never quoted directly, but reportedly made a statement to his wife Kim Basinger, who was later quoted in Focus magazine saying that Alec "might leave the country if Bush is elected president ... and then I'd probably have to go too."

Barbara Streisand - "I don't think you'll see me around here for at least four years."

Robert Altman - "If George Bush is elected president, I'm leaving for France."

Pierre Salinger - "If Bush wins, I'm going to leave the country and spend the rest of my life in France."

The outcome:

Eddie Vedder was "extremely disappointed", but not enough to leave the US. He did go to Hawaii, however.

Alec Baldwin claims that he never made the statement, but even if he did it wouldn't matter since Bush wasn't really elected, he was "selected by five judges up in Washington who voted along party lines". (He originally claimed his wife never spoke with Focus magazine, a claim which he later recanted.)

Barbara Streisand, who was at a White House dinner when she made the statement, claims that when she said she would not be seen "around here" that she was only referring to not being seen around the White House.

Robert Altman, despite being caught on film, later insisted that he was misquoted, saying "Here's what I really said. I said that if Bush gets elected, I'll move to Paris, Texas, because the state will be better off if he's out of it."

Pierre Salinger moved to France.

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These poor souls had to be tormented, forced to endure a robust economy and an unemployment rate below 5% that was deemed by them as tantamount to "the worst depression in Amerikkkan history".

How much more will these poor souls have to endure under a landslide Mittens™ victory that they'll have to suffer through excruciating tax cuts for everyone, an improved economy where businesses are hiring, jobs and markets making a comeback, and diminishing foodstamp lines; to have to suffer through the pain and agony of an ObamacareTAX repeal and the REAL reformation of healthcare, allowing people to have freedom to choose once again and pay for their own?

The mere thought of going to the gas station and paying under $2 a gallon of gas has them beside themselves cringing and frothing. Federal land opening up for oil and gas exploration... clean coal making a comeback... businesses and industries returning to expand and hire. Oh the PAIN... THE PAIN!!!

No one should have to be made to suffer such torment and torture! This time when these loudmouth blowhards bellow and whine, let's also make sure they don't leave without having to pay their fair share of taxes before they expatriate.

Bob Casey and Chuck U Schemer proposed a 30% tax on future capital gains for those who would want to leave the country and renounce their citizenship, with an added bonus of not being able to reenter the country if they decided to return. I believe this is a glorious arrangement in the same sense that one would put up a fence around their yard to keep the neighbor's dog from crapping in it after it destroyed its own yard.

This is really the best of both worlds: tax them when they leave, and keep them from coming back.

Tovarichi, if the Enemy of the People Romney (has anyone noticed how close his name is to "Romany"? Do we really want a gypsy president? They steal things, you know) we will do what we have always done: strive to pave the way for the Glorious World of Next Tuesday and the Advent of World Socialism.

You are but a young sprog of a Prog. Many of us Alter Kampfers came to the collective during the bleak years of the Great BusHitler--we know what it is to be in the wilderness, crying out the horrors of prosperity, denoucing the excesses of liberty, crapping on the police car that is personal responsibility. If I believed in a god, I would say it gives us a special sense of holiness; as a Made Prog, I can state it gives us a certain sense of moral purity, what Jack Ripper might have called "Purity of Essence." Always remember: "That which does not kill us makes us more dependent on government."

Comrades:

There is no way that I am pulling up stakes even if this Romneeee.....pffft, happens to steal this election. I will continue the fight and will see our progressive vision enacted in my lifetime. We will be victorious and this prog is a winner not some total loser!

I am also loathed to give up my swinging bachelor pad, that many a progressive chick has visited for some quality time with the snoogmeister. As a matter fact one of my recent conquests has left me a card on the old nightstand. Let me see what it says.

What are these comrades afraid of? Same politburo we have now will be running Romney just like they think they run Dear Leader. Is it because uppity money grubbing Middle Class is rejecting them personally? Nyet. They are afraid some White guy like Sheriff Joe will make them behave like Suburbanites. Duh. All this merde about decamping from People's Republic is this week's rice bowl for their press agents and publicists. Not that other Social Democracies can't have them, but those places are much too far a commute to Manhattan and beltway cocktail parties. So all talk of emigrating is in our dreams, not theirs. Newspeak is it's own reward, da?

Comrades, I am not at all afraid of this gypsy Romney. Remember, we are the 99% PLUS the 47%, and if 146% of the People can't shout down the perpetrator of yet another stolen election, well, my vodka isn't made from beets!

We WILL keep control of the USSA, one way or another, even if this election is somehow stolen - which I can't imagine happening with all the safeguards we've put in place (no voter ID in most states, dead voters, multiple voting, a Spanish company counting the votes, etc.). We've come too far FORWARD™ to ever go back.

To that end, I have put aside my government-funded transit tokens and pushed my dependable old Chrysler out of the garage - we may not have Obamacare™ anymore if this Romney >spit< is elected, but I can still live as though I was in glorious and progressive Cuba! Without the glorious and progressive healthcare system, of course.

And never forget - we, the 146%, SHALL OVERCOME!!

Comrade R.O.C.K. ,

I hope your guitar doesn't have an Indian rosewood fretboard.

The Party might confiscate it for using banned foreign materials. ( see Gibson )


I know what you're thinking .... and the answer is NO ..... you won't get it back !

Better put that axe inside the trunk to maintain your aura of personal political correctness.

PS, That is one sweet ride ! But don't run it on unleaded.

Comrade Kras, thank you so much for the very nice compliment on my Chrysler! I've been considering low profile tires on flat black rims - what do you think?

Not to worry about my fretboard - I have it on good authority that it was made from dyed plywood in Mexico (wink wink).

And yep, I do buy unleaded for my ride, but I dangle fishing lead down into the gas tank on 100lb test line - I find that 10-15 3" pieces keep the old broad purring like a Soviet T-34!

Dear Leader has brought us Healthcare, what we should be entitled to is government funded auto maintenance!

Comrade ROCK,

Is that a 300C model I see in that photo with a 331 dual quad hemi sitting under that unassuming hood? There's no need to be coy about it. We have other uses for beet vodka, you know.

Why are our comrades moving to Canada and New Zealand? May I suggest Cuba, Venezuela or North Korea. I hear Venezuela is quite nice this time of year. In fact, thug Leader Chavez just got reelected, so the people there have 4 more years of glorious oppression bliss waiting for them!

Comrade Whinny, let's just say that she's had some aftermarket work done on her south of the border... WAY south, if you know what I mean.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Comrade Kras, thank you so much for the very nice compliment on my Chrysler! I've been considering low profile tires on flat black rims - what do you think?

R.O.C.K. ........ your thoughts on the matter reside within the current truth of styling. However , you might want to consider doing something a little different with the wheels.




Now, if that's not progressive, nothing is!

I'll be hiding out someplace inconspicuous...



at least until I figure out how open the new administrations is to crony capitalism.

On the bright side, maybe the DNC will stop ordering so much rope.

You've got company !

To paraphrase certain murderer general:

No bastard has ever won a country by emigrating. He won it by making the other poor, dumb bastard emigrate.