The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades,

Paroles have been stating that hard-left moderate and hard-left centrist, Arlen Specter, has Switched to the Dead Party, possibly from lymphoma.

Of course, nobody in The Party is going to forget one of our most famous double agents. He started out his career as a Dem and then switched to Republican and then when Obama's polices needed passing, he switched back to a Dem again. He reverted back to the Dems under the best of all auspices, claiming that "Republicans were not tolerant enough." (A double win for us, really)

Well, the rumors of his death are quite premature, I am happy to say. As we all know, nobody (important to us) will needlessly die due to the wonder that is ObamaCare!

A little-known subdivision of ObamaCare called LICE (Life In Ice - available to upper Party Members only) has been working tirelessly in a cryogenics lab, to preserve Specter's head and make sure he and his legacy live on!

Future plans include attaching Specter's head to the body of VP Joe Biden, whose head has deteriorated from lack of use and years of neglect.

Nothing will go to waste, however: reinforced with hair plugs, Biden's head is still amazingly sturdy on the outside and will make a great doorstop or some other useful Party implement.

Good work, Comrade Robot.

Errr, Dear Leader has asked me to ask you for a little favor... could you please re-animate Osama Bin Laden so Dear Leader can kill him again? It would really help him with his debate prep. Thanks.

Thank Lenin! I've been in mourning (although also pondering the voting possiblilities) since I heard the news this morning - it's so good to hear that Comrade Specter is still with us! And he looks just as vigorous as he did in life!

Which makes me realize - if dear Nansky Pelosky ever goes to the great progressive dictatorship in the sky, I hope they realize that she JUST died and freeze her head quickly! I hope someone is making the proper preparations - with all her "treatments" she COULD be mistaken for someone who's been dead a long, long time.

Say - do you know if Teddy Kennedy's head got frozen in time? With all the decades of pickeling I suspect that a few extra weeks before freezing probably wouldn't have mattered in his case.

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:Say - do you know if Teddy Kennedy's head got frozen in time? With all the decades of pickeling I suspect that a few extra weeks before freezing probably wouldn't have mattered in his case.

Comrade ROCK,

You're in luck. I found a recent (post-Chappaquiddick) photo of 'ol Teddy.


He's doing just fine.

Arlen went extinct just in time to help Barry Gibb with the "Vote the Dead" effort for Premier Hussein.....

Comrade Opiate,

It is currently beyond our technological ability to do a cranial transplant on Bin Laden secondary to him having his brains splattered all over the place the unique nature of his injury. It will likely remain impossible in the foreseeable future because of halted medical innovation secondary to the Obama Care medical device tax difficulties overcoming the barriers in the science.

The Party does have the ability to clone Bin Laden similar to the way they did it in the movie "Jurassic Park." We did manage to procure some Bin Laden DNA. After an extensive DNA hybridization experiment we created and implanted an embryo. Unfortunately the embryo was contaminated by DNA from the source leading to rather disastrous results......

His [incomprehensible] magic bullet theory will live forever.
He did not let little things like the laws of motion or physics spoil his theory.
Arlen Sphincter will be remembered for what he was!