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A simple purchase can save the planet

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Comrades!
What better way to celebrate Comrade Lenin's birthday than to purchase this t-shirt commemorating the 50th anniversary of Earth Day? April 22, 2020 is approaching faster than Next Tuesday. Will you be ready to signal your virtue to all your progressive friends?
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For half a century leading environmental experts have been warning us that we have only ten years to save the planet before it's too late. Whether it's global cooling, global warming, or climate change, these scientists have been faithfully sounding the warning.
You're no doubt asking yourself, "What can I do to save the planet?"
Well, thank Gaia you're reading this! You, yes, you have a once in a lifetime opportunity to raise awareness, to save Earth Mother, and to show you care by purchasing this t-shirt in time for the 50th anniversary of Earth Day .
Simply purchasing this environmentally friendly, and most of all, GREEN t-shirt, will save a polar bear cub from drowning. The waters will begin to recede. The earth will heal, and all because of you.
But what if you don't buy this t-shirt?
You will cause the earth to enter into a new ice age and burst into a flaming snow ball. How dare you!
You will cause droughts and floods to obliterate the planet. How dare you!
You will make homeless minority kittens sad. How dare you!
Women and minorities will be hardest hit. How dare you!
An iceberg will melt in the Pacific and wash away Al Gore's beachfront home. How dare you!
Another iceberg will melt in the Atlantic and flood the Obama mansion on Martha's Vineyard. How dare you!
My t-shirt sales will face mass extinction. How dare you!
You will rob me of my early retirement. How dare you!
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Buying this t-shirt is a moral imperative. Remember that Comrade Lenin himself once carried a log, an important symbol of renewable energy. He cared. Isn't it time you did your part to save the planet? Go ahead, flaunt your virtue!

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Comrades, rush to purchase Komissar al-Blogunov's green(back) producing virtue signal offer because Deplorables are green(backing) their own virtue signal offer.

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(How dare YOU!)

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... The earth will heal ...
The planet, esteemed al-Blogunov! The PLANET!

... and (if I may?):
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... The waters will begin to recede ...
It's "The oceans", ja? The OCEANS!




Now, Blogunov, you write 100 times:

I WILL NOT DISTORT MY ORGANIZIN' UBER-NACHALNIK'S IDEAS AND WORDING!
In Cyrillic! (И ВИЛЛ НОТ... i tak dalshye)

You do that, and then the Great Meeting in Barn #2 for your show trial (already announced!, just go to Beet Quota Square and listen the myegafon!) will be cancelled*.
* pyerkhaps

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'pelipsky, I see your Orange Hitler hat and raise you a vandalized speed limit sign FTW. And I'll throw in a brief history of 'woke' climate change.

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:(How dare YOU!)

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... The earth will heal ...
The planet, esteemed al-Blogunov! The PLANET!

... and (if I may?):
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... The waters will begin to recede ...
It's "The oceans", ja? The OCEANS!




Now, Blogunov, you write 100 times:

I WILL NOT DISTORT MY ORGANIZIN' UBER-NACHALNIK'S IDEAS AND WORDING!
In Cyrillic! (И ВИЛЛ НОТ... i tak dalshye)

You do that, and then the Great Meeting in Barn #2 for your show trial (already announced!, just go to Beet Quota Square and listen the myegafon!) will be cancelled*.
* pyerkhaps
Wait, did his Oliness say something similar? Doesn't he have a single original thought?

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Stop chasing Pokemons for their fur!

Pokemon Go to the polls and vote for Hillary instead!

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:Image

'pelipsky is going to pin this beefcake signed poster on cell wall...coverin' virtual hole in wall to mental freedom. Just happy Thanksgiving! as only CIZ! could say properly.

forelock tug from your transatlantic hillbilly comrade,
'pelipsky
Russian Agent and honor guard to Ambassador to Texazistan
#BR 549

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I thought my mandatory purchase of healthcare coverage was saving the planet!

I cannot accept that Dear Leader (PBUH) Barack Hussein Obama told me a non-truth. No.

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Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:I thought my mandatory purchase of healthcare coverage was saving the planet!

I cannot accept that Dear Leader (PBUH) Barack Hussein Obama told me a non-truth. No.
It was not a non-truth. It was an alternative truth. A moral truth. For The People.™

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One thing we need to know, Comrade, before we give you any money. Come to think of it, two things:

Were these shirts made from free-range cotton? Because if the cotton plants were cooped up in cages all their lives, that's cruelty and not acceptable!

You need to certify that these were made from free-range, cage-free non-GMO cottons that were fed only organic food and never fed any artificial preservatives, pesticides or growth hormones.

And now the second question:

Were they made in a sweatshop? Because no True Comrade would ever buy something that isn't Union Made.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:
Genosse Dummkopf wrote:(How dare YOU!)

Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... The earth will heal ...
The planet, esteemed al-Blogunov! The PLANET!

... and (if I may?):
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... The waters will begin to recede ...
It's "The oceans", ja? The OCEANS!




Now, Blogunov, you write 100 times:

I WILL NOT DISTORT MY ORGANIZIN' UBER-NACHALNIK'S IDEAS AND WORDING!
In Cyrillic! (И ВИЛЛ НОТ... i tak dalshye)

You do that, and then the Great Meeting in Barn #2 for your show trial (already announced!, just go to Beet Quota Square and listen the myegafon!) will be cancelled*.
* pyerkhaps
Wait, did his Oliness say something similar? Doesn't he have a single original thought?

Did Obama have a single original thought??? Comrades, is that a crack in the styrofoam Greek Column supporting the temple of Obamaness who brought us to this brink of civilization?

Now all comrades know that styrofoam on fire smells like crack?

This information is 'on the record'. Not MSM hearsay interpretation posing as F.a.c.t.
Does this documentation of reliable sources actually inform Amerikkka, The Planet...even Hong Kong - that the brink of Obama's styrofoam civilization is on fire and crumbling like a crack pipedream someone left in a rental car?

Political Climate Change Deniers beware...Glastnost and Perestroika are coming through Trumpachev...the greatest Russian Agent of gushing MSM Orgasmatron in the lifetime of The Planet™. making the Rocky Meme T.r.u.e.
ooops.

'pelipksy smells popcorn...and as only Genosse Dummkopf could say...Oh, glory!..staring at CIZ's offer of a bucket of some hot buttered beet flavored popcorn. Political Climate Change is on the move.

Jackalopelipsky
Russian (c.o.v.e.r.t.) Agent
#BR 549

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:One thing we need to know, Comrade, before we give you any money. Come to think of it, two things:

Were these shirts made from free-range cotton? Because if the cotton plants were cooped up in cages all their lives, that's cruelty and not acceptable!

You need to certify that these were made from free-range, cage-free non-GMO cottons that were fed only organic food and never fed any artificial preservatives, pesticides or growth hormones.

And now the second question:

Were they made in a sweatshop? Because no True Comrade would ever buy something that isn't Union Made.
Brilliant thinkin' from the head of The Institute. Professor? What is the hockey stick prognogzicator graph say about Political Climate Change and the dire threat that could decimate the era of styrofoam civilization? Chances for survival?

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RedDiaperette wrote:
Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:I thought my mandatory purchase of healthcare coverage was saving the planet!

I cannot accept that Dear Leader (PBUH) Barack Hussein Obama told me a non-truth. No.
It was not a non-truth. It was an alternative truth. A moral truth. For The People.™

Kind of like Texazistan Lotto for Public Education. It was not a non-truth. It was an alternative truth. A moral truth. For The People.™

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jackalopelipsky wrote:
Kind of like Texazistan Lotto for Public Education. It was not a non-truth. It was an alternative truth. A moral truth. For The People.™

[img]images/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]

I saw the Texas Lottery as a tax on people who couldn't pass Statistics 301.

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Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote:One thing we need to know, Comrade, before we give you any money. Come to think of it, two things:

Were these shirts made from free-range cotton? Because if the cotton plants were cooped up in cages all their lives, that's cruelty and not acceptable!

You need to certify that these were made from free-range, cage-free non-GMO cottons that were fed only organic food and never fed any artificial preservatives, pesticides or growth hormones.

And now the second question:

Were they made in a sweatshop? Because no True Comrade would ever buy something that isn't Union Made.
The cotton used in these Green t-shirts was grown from seedhood in a loving, nurturing, affirming environment that encouraged tolerance and self-esteem. The little seedlings were taught to be whatever fiber they identified with. Only those plants that were willing were selected for this marvelous, and most importantly, Green t-shirt. We show the utmost respect for a plant's right to choose.
Each Green t-shirt is hand woven by handicapped minority kittens each of whom has been vetted and confirmed to belong to the International Brotherhood of Disabled Animal Americans, Local #68.
Purchasing this Green t-shirt will not only save the planet, but will do so much more. You will have the peace of mind of knowing that you made a difference.

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wrote:... Now, Blogunov, you write 100 times: I WILL NOT... [in Cyrillic!]
Having heard that you, Blogunov, already submitted the 100 stroki to our Politbyuro, I conclude that you are a most equally korrekt tavarishch.
Now, you will certainly be eager to donate a couple of dozens of your enviro-apparel to St. Greta's Foundation, da?

BTW:
I can't wait to see FFF-Youth storm that shack where you store all that eco-attire. Knowing of their limitations in reading, understanding (and thinking, generally), they would not suspect, let alone detect even a touch of irony in your green goodies - should there be any such whiff, of course. So, I presume it to become a planetary hit.


(but then you watch, al-Blogunov, not to succumb to kkkapitalistic impulses that may hover right under the surface of a komrade's korrekt attitude ; yet should you yield to craving for kkkapitalistic selfishness and greed, then just revisit Beet Quota Square, and listen what myegafony transmit...)
[/indentr][/indentr]

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... The [highlight=#ffff00]cotton[/highlight] used in these Green t-shirts ...
Cotton? You can't be serious, Komrade! I thought, it's made of (decarbonized!) cannabis hemp.



peace!..._peace!....._zzzonked........_ kkomrade al-kolluder..........
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What is all this talk about (shudder) cotton? Do you not know that cotton is a trigger word, a veritable racist dog whistle about plantations?

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jackalopelipsky wrote:... is that a crack in the styrofoam Greek Column supporting the temple of Obamaness ...
[OFF] snicker, giggle...

[ON] All hail the Great Kozmically Unprecedented Styrofoabamanation Event of Denver 2008 !

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jackalopelipsky wrote:... is that a crack in the styrofoam Greek Column supporting the temple of Obamaness ...
RedDiaperette wrote:... What is all this talk about (shudder) cotton?... cotton is a trigger word ...
Mae RD:
Is that a Greek Column in your pocket, or just a styrofoam pinchbeck of a (shudder!) cotton puff?

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... The [highlight=#ffff00]cotton[/highlight] used in these Green t-shirts ...
Cotton? You can't be serious, Komrade! I thought, it's made of (decarbonized!) cannabis hemp.



peace!..._peace!....._zzzonked........_ kkomrade al-kolluder..........
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Comrades! I thank you for your collective effort in pointing out what nearly got me a show trial. Use of cotton for the Green t-shirts will discontinue immediately and will be followed by an appearance on The View where I beg forgiveness for being white. I have contacted the vendor and have been assured that from now on all future Green t-shirts will be made from the much more environmentally friendly plant Gossypium barbadense. Also, if G. barbadense is smoked in large enough quantities, it can induce hyperventilation, another benefit.

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
wrote:... Now, Blogunov, you write 100 times: I WILL NOT... [in Cyrillic!]
Having heard that you, Blogunov, already submitted the 100 stroki to our Politbyuro, I conclude that you are a most equally korrekt tavarishch.
Now, you will certainly be eager to donate a couple of dozens of your enviro-apparel to St. Greta's Foundation, da?

BTW:
I can't wait to see FFF-Youth storm that shack where you store all that eco-attire. Knowing of their limitations in reading, understanding (and thinking, generally), they would not suspect, let alone detect even a touch of irony in your green goodies - should there be any such whiff, of course. So, I presume it to become a planetary hit.


(but then you watch, al-Blogunov, not to succumb to kkkapitalistic impulses that may hover right under the surface of a komrade's korrekt attitude ; yet should you yield to craving for kkkapitalistic selfishness and greed, then just revisit Beet Quota Square, and listen what myegafony transmit...)
[/indentr][/indentr]
A crate of Green t-shirts is on the way to Sweden aboard a wooden kayak paddled by a certified trans-Inuit.
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If these are the same people who need to be told that Trump's Rocky picture may have been PhotoShopped, then I may have a solid market indeed.

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
jackalopelipsky wrote:... is that a crack in the styrofoam Greek Column supporting the temple of Obamaness ...
[OFF] snicker, giggle...

[ON] All hail the Great Kozmically Unprecedented Styrofoabamanation Event of Denver 2008 !

And don't forget GD, transatlantic hillbilly cousin to 'pelipsky - thanks to Hunter Biden - all comrades know that burning styrofoam smells like crack. New Hockey Stick Graph Data ---- Styrofoam + Crack = Political Climate Change.'pelipsky#BR 549 over an' out

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Papa Kalashnikook wrote:'pelipsky, I see your Orange Hitler hat and raise you a vandalized speed limit sign FTW. And I'll throw in a brief history of 'woke' climate change.

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Papa K, 'pelipsky must fold because according to scientific graph, The Planet is over and we're just living in million year old star light from another cosmos.

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Available in skinny, extra skinny, or gulag skinny.
Perfect for your all expense paid vacation Vortuklag.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... Gossypium barbadense .. [which] .. can induce hyperventilation, another benefit ...
Here we go again...
"hyperventilation"? being "another benefit"???

chyort vaz'mi, what's wrong with you, Blogunov? Never heard of CO₂, the carbon death???
And the carbonic effects of ventilation, let alone hyperventilation?

... but then, this gem:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... kayak paddled by a certified trans-Inuit ...
Nu kharasho, this time your minus & plus no show trial, even less so free ride to Kolyma.

But, in futuro, you watch your kollusions, Komrade, otherwise.....



BTW, Komrades:
We all stopped juicing up our glorious People's anti-Trump hyperventilation chamber, no?
Yet remember, tavarishchi: Orange Man bigger danger than karbon! Bigly bigger!
Hence: Orange-Man-hyperventilating (and only that hyperventilating) is good-hyperventilating!

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Comrade Jenkem wrote:
Available in skinny, extra skinny, or gulag skinny.
Perfect for your all expense paid vacation Vortuklag.
So, either I'm going senile, or Comrade Jenkem wallows in hermetic poetry. Or both.

But then, 2 spoons of evening kasha plus a 99 decibel facepalm - of course!
"skinny" for style, "all expense paid vacation" the equivalent of "free ride to Kolyma", and "Vortuklag" just scrambled letters, for VorkutLAG.

(ekh, Vorkuta... as damned as Norilsk....)


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Gosh, Komissar al-Blogunov...could we survive even another year should St. Greta pull the deadly TRIPLE DOG Dare you out of her locked arsenal cabinet?

'pelipsky
#BR 549

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:...

Komrade al-Blogunow:
In an ideal world planet, you would (@0:18) come down "from above" in a catamaran!

And "10 years" (@1:36)?
Not entirely true, it's 10¼ _{ b/c ( [AOC]12 + [SAINT-G]8½ ) / 2 = 10¼, ja? }

(ja, Komradette Clara?)
... plus:
jackalopelipsky wrote:... could we survive even another year ? ...
Komrade 'pelipsky, St. Greta is a serious Gaia warrior. If St. Greta says 8½, it's 8½.

(and how dddare you dddoubt it, hah?)

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:...

Komrade al-Blogunow:
In an ideal world planet, you would (@0:18) come down "from above" in a catamaran!

And "10 years" (@1:36)?
Not entirely true, its 10¼ _{ b/c ( [AOC]12 + [SAINT-G]8½ ) / 2 = 10¼, ja? }

(ja, Komradette Clara?)
... plus:
jackalopelipsky wrote:... could we survive even another year ? ...
Komrade 'pelipsky, St. Greta is a serious Gaia warrior. If St. Greta says 8½, it's 8½.

(and how dddare you dddoubt it, hah?)
In Claude's defense (not mine, although people comment on the similarities between us and Sergei), he did come down on the twin hulls of his Walmart house shoes. That's like a metaphorical catamaran.

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Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... [Claude] did come down on the twin hulls of his Walmart house shoes. That's like a metaphorical catamaran.
By Lenin's tapochki (alias pantofles)!
You are Claude is absolutely right!

We're ALL walking in catamaran, _(whether from Walmart, or ALDI)
catamaran ist wunderbar.
We're all walking in catamaran,
catamaran, catamaran.
#JeSuisCatamaranWalker !



ja? Komrades 'pelipsky, Callmelennie, Groucho Marxist (& Karaoke Kollektive)?


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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... [Claude] did come down on the twin hulls of his Walmart house shoes. That's like a metaphorical catamaran.
By Lenin's tapochki (alias pantofles)!
You are Claude is absolutely right!

We're ALL walking in catamaran, _(whether from Walmart, or ALDI)
catamaran ist wunderbar.
We're all walking in catamaran,
catamaran, catamaran.
#JeSuisCatamaranWalker !



ja? Komrades 'pelipsky, Callmelennie, Groucho Marxist (& Karaoke Kollektive)?

All this evidence of a film studio on the moon and people still think this video is fake. SMH.

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URGENT REMINDER! Earth Day 2020 is only 11 days away! Earth may not be here in 11 days, so hurry up and order your t-shirt while there's still time. Polar bear cubs are pleading with their little black eyes. How can you say no?

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Genosse Dummkopf wrote:
Komissar al-Blogunov wrote:... [Claude] did come down on the twin hulls of his Walmart house shoes. That's like a metaphorical catamaran.
By Lenin's tapochki (alias pantofles)!
You are Claude is absolutely right!

We're ALL walking in catamaran, _(whether from Walmart, or [highlight=#ffff00]ALDI[/highlight])
catamaran ist wunderbar.
We're all walking in catamaran,
catamaran, catamaran.
#JeSuisCatamaranWalker !


[OFF]

Komrade Genosse, we have Aldi here in Amerika too. I've never seen them sell shoes. Boots, slippers, yes. Mostly in women's sizes. Shoes, no. Not that I'd buy them, "generic" or "store-brand" shoes universally don't fit my weird feet.

Then gain, it seems that every Aldi here in the US is different when it comes to houseware selection.

I did, however, get my wine decanter and milkshake blender at Aldi. Both have worked great. Although I will tell you one thing: do not EVER decant any wine from Rioja. It makes it so soft it feels slimy. BLECH! I've only thrown away 2 bottles of wine in my life: Manischewitz and that bottle from Rioja.


 
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