10/18/2006, 12:54 pm
Thus, your latest allegation that the Apple Mecca Store in New York amounts to a deliberate insult to Islam (because it resembles your big black Ka'bah cube in Mecca) is not just inane, it's an unprovoked stab in the back. This isn't how good allies treat one another.
Yes, our cube-shaped Apple store resembles Ka'bah - so what? It's not like your real Mecca. To be more like the real Mecca it must have regular stampedes crushing thousands of geeks to death every year, aggravated by outbreaks of dysentery among huge crowds of Apple users crammed together in anti-sanitary conditions.
The next big threat to Islam: NINTENDO MECCA
Let's face it: Muslims did not invent the cube and neither did Apple. If we believed in the bourgeois concept of ownership, we'd say it's owned by the People's Cube. As it is, we declare it people's property.
Did you know that pork bullion cubes are made in the shape of Ka'bah especially to insult Muslims? Lynne Stewart said so and I trust her with my life.
I know it on good authority that Ted Kennedy consumes alcohol during the holy month of Ramadan. Also, if you put words Al Gore and Google together and put them against the mirror, you get the Arabic word for "Spare Pork Ribs"
We supported you when you pounded Nike into recalling 800,000 shoes because the English word "Air" in its logo allegedly resembled the Arabic lettering for one of the 99 names for Allah.
We laughed in approval when you shook down a Swiss supermarket chain, forcing it to withdraw 16,200 rolls of toilet paper with Zodiac signs because the Virgo symbol, when seen upside down "could be taken to resemble the word Allah" in Arabic.
We cheered on your heroic boycott of imperialist Coca-Cola because its logo, if flipped horizontally and tweaked slightly, sort of reads "no Muhammad, no Mecca" in Arabic. We nodded when your complains forced the corporate Burger King to withdraw ice cream cones because the line-drawing on the lid resembled Arabic lettering for Allah.
We gloated when British banks banned the display of piggy banks and British stores banned pig calendars and pig toys because they might offend Muslims.
We refrained from comments when you rioted against the beauty pageant in Nigeria, killing 200, burning churches, and destroying property.
We pretended the riots over the Danish cartoons never happened.
We did our best to help you get away with 9/11 by framing it as a legitimate response of the oppressed minorities against Western imperialism, and by positioning the WTC victims as "Little Eichmanns." We blamed the attack on the Bush administration, or on the Mossad, or on both.
We explained your kidnappings, beheadings, hijackings, bombings, and sniping as a heroic fight against the reactionary occupiers. We accepted and rationalized a great deal of your shenanigans, including the pointless murders of policemen, civilians, construction workers, partygoers, vacationers, children on the way to school. But Apple Computer Inc. (PBUH) is where we must draw the line, comrades.
Their marketing slogan was most likely inspired by the French deconstructionist philosopher Michel Foucault, who called for the West to think different - and he himself followed this rule to the logical point of converting to Islam, embracing Khomeini's theocracy in Iran, and ending up by contracting HIV at a gay orgy in San Francisco and dying of AIDS.
But this is where the similarities end.
In fact, Apple users are more like what the media refers to as "moderate Muslims." They don't issue death threats to apple sauce manufacturers who put pictures of apples on their labels. They don't demonstrate with placards saying "Behead those who insult Mac OS," and "Nerds will dominate the world." They don't burn down and vandalize CompUSA stores. They don't riot over Dell commercials. And they don't sneak into PC-equipped corporate offices and blow themselves up in the name of Apple and its prophet Steve Jobs.
So how about a tradeoff? You leave Apple alone, and we'll find you a different great excuse to boil and seethe with rage.
Are you familiar with the insensitive American tradition to carve crescent-shaped windows in the doors of their outhouses? "Protect the Muslim Crescent" would be a great, clean campaign allowing you to channel your massive creative energy into protecting Islam from this real and present danger. We will send out our activists to gather exact names and locations of the blasphemous wooden cabins, so you can demonstrate in front of them and possibly burn them down - to reinforce the positive image of Islam as a true force of peace in this world.
APPENDIX
Nike was forced to recall 800,000 of these sneakers because the English word "Air" in its logo allegedly resembled the Arabic lettering for Allah. How do you say "Think different" in Arabic?
Some Muslims boycott Coca-Cola because its logo, if flipped horizontally and tweaked slightly, sort of reads "no Muhammad, no Mecca" in Arabic.
Muslim complains forced the corporate Burger King to withdraw ice cream cones because the line-drawing on the lid, if turned sidewise, resembled Arabic lettering for Allah. Hm, if Dubya resembles Allah, then... Oh no! I just thought myself a thoughtcrime, comrades! Must think different!
If you have other examples of how Muslim grievances help us move progress forward, post them here.
UPDATE - 10/19/06
Observe this discussion on TUAW.com (the unofficial Apple blog)
Muslim community offended by Apple's Fifth Avenue NYC Cube?
The original title was changed in an Orwellian way from [PARTY-CENSORED] to what it is now - under the pressure of the progressive unwashed intelligentsia which shines at its best here. Comrade O'Brien must feel very proud.
One of the agendas in that discussion is to debunk the perceived right-wing logic (which they think affects all right-wingers): "SOME Muslims do it, therefore ALL Muslims do it." How do they debunk it? By confronting it with their own, "very different" logic: "SOME Muslims didn't do it, therefore NO Muslims have ever done it."
Such logic must be the most immediate result of the "Think different" dogma. So useful in class struggle.
Using this principle, the progressive posters quickly uncover the main culprit: the Jew and his tool, MEMRI . They expose MEMRI as a biased Zionist source, quoting CAIR which is, of course, an absolutely unbiased and unaffiliated group.
Then there's the official Apple Gazette that basically follows the same guidelines.
Muslim Community Responds: We Love the Apple NYC Cube
The title, the article, and the comments imply that, just like the progressive community in the West is unified under the Party banners of uniformed diversity, so is the Muslim community worldwide unified into a solid block under the banner of the progressive Muslim Politburo.
Quite a projection.
Which only proves the point of the story above.
One detail that they all have avoided is rather fiery comments and threats posted by SOME Muslims underneath this SFGate.com story below. Apparently, one of the sub-dogmas under the "Think different" dogma is, "if it can't be explained, it means it never happened."
All kneel before the holy holy
(In case SFGate decides to revise history, we copied their entire page with comments and posted it here.)
. . .
This is really asking for trouble! Muslim extremists can see a very good reason for moving in now. You are really provoking and offending Muslims all over the world and hurting their feelings. You are also putting innocent peoples lives at risk. Why not have a different design say like a huge apple?! why does it have to be something to do with Muslims and Islam? May Allah Guide you to the right path.
That's the spirit!
But the most important (and unmentioned) part of the story is that the MEMRI article appeared on October 11, 2006, while the offended rhetoric by SOME Muslims started appearing under the SFGate.com story since May, 2006.
The point of this posting is not to instigate a fight between Apple and Muslims, nor to promote hate. It is to show the mechanics of how the world is becoming an uncomfortable place because SOME "Muslims" and SOME "progressives" live with their heads permanently implanted in their asses. What exactly they see there we don't know, but it certainly creates within them the illusion that they can impose their will on the rest of us.
