The People's Cube - Political Satire

For Party members only

As previously transmitted to the masses, the team of People's Cube operatives consisting of Comrade Red Square and Mrs. Red Square embedded themselves into the hotbed of the paleo-conservative movement - the "Future of Conservatism" Summit organized by the National Review Institute in Washington, D.C. (Jan 25-27, 2013).

Their mission was three-fold:

1. Deplete their conservative budget by eating free conservative food and drinking free conservative spirits.

2. Uncover the schemes that the conservative conspiratorial cabal is plotting for our future, by eavesdropping on sources who spoke under the impression they were among "their kind."

3. Most importantly, implant transmitters into the heads of conservative thought-masters for future monitoring.

Below is their After Action Report.

1. A fair share of free conservative food and spirits have been collectivized and redistributed to each according to our needs (in fact, way beyond our physical abilities).

2. The paleo-conservatives are in consensus that the future must be grim and hopeless - if you're a progressive. A full report to be filed in a few days.

3. Implanting the chips proved difficult: conservatives must have been trained not to let down their guard even when sufficiently imbibed. We had to resort to Plan B: slip them innocently-looking, easy-to-solve People's Cubes with pre-installed listening and tracking instrumentation.

As of this reporting, the data collected from them is being transmitted directly to Laika the Space Dog who has been orbiting Earth since 1957 for just this kind of data mining. The highlights are then live-streamed to our tinfoil hats and communicated to the collective on a need-to-know basis.

Due to man-made global warming, as well as secret GOP jamming technology, the transmissions may be intermittent and scattered across all 57 states.

Therefore, it is imperative that if any of our tinfoil-hat-wearing members is in receipt of what sounds like a transmission from Laika, they post it on this thread without delay, so that a larger picture can be assembled from collectively posted fragments.

Below is compromising photographic evidence.

(Apologies for the poor quality of the capitalist spy cam. We wish we had brought our robust Soviet-made Zenit camera.
~
Comrade Brooks was handed the Cube for show purposes only. He already reports directly to the Party Organ, but if we were to single him out, that would appear suspicious.

* * *
We will be checking this thread frequently for updated Laika transmissions.

I think David Brooks has been listening to Laika transmissions since before 1957.

Excellent work Comrades!

Astounding infiltration and evidence. Lenin would be proud!

Ура, товарищи!

Great job, comrades Square. Your infiltration is most inspiring. I believe FX has already adopted a script to make a series about your tactics. The promo poster has recently been released.

Well done! Ready to receive transmissions!

Indeed the real "infiltraitors" are Scarborough and Brooks. I would have given a year's worth of beet vodka to take Mrs. Red Square's log and bitch-slap both of them.

Comrades, I was actually wearing my Laika the Space Dog hoodie during the time the summit was going on, and the reception was spectacular - almost like being there!

The thought of all those listening devices bugs People's Cubes™ being distributed amongst these >spit< conservatives warms the cockles of my heart, much like a trio of quick shots of beet vodka. Excellent work, Mr. & Mrs. Red Square!!!

Asking to "see more" of someone on the People's Cube is always a risky request depending on how the photoshopping proletariat understands the request.

Truly good work rubbing elbows with the oppressor class. I look forward to the audio surely obtained by the listening device located in the cube of equal outcomes.

El Presidente wrote:Great job, comrades Square. Your infiltration is most inspiring. I believe FX has already adopted a script to make a series about your tactics. The promo poster has recently been released.

The-Americans-FX-Poster-300x450.jpg

El Presidente-- Great job yourself. I hope you don't mind my tinkering with your EXCELLENT idea.




Looks like Mrs. Red Square has ditched log-toting and gotten an extreme makeover. Must be one of the wonders of the new ObamaCare Makeover.

No wonder Red Square is exhibiting his famously sly smile.

Now we're going to need a Ministry of Contract Offers.

Isn't that Fox News on the line? We know they don't call it "Fox" news for nothing, so watch-out Mrs. Red Square and don't let youself be (cheaply) exploited by the capitalist pigs at Fox.

--KOOK

El Presidente wrote:Great job, comrades Square.

I'm afraid I must confess to being in somewhat of a mathematical/geometrical quandary - when one considers "comrades Square" should one picture a Cube or actually a Tesseract?

Robert Fine wrote:Mrs. Red Square is some cutie! Why on earth is she not seen more on the Cube? She is a conservative star in the making!

Why Has Fox News not been notified of this woman??

(And why did she not take her Peoples Cube and crack Joe Scarborough and David Brookes over their heads?)

Comrade Mrs Red Square's struggle mirrors all Amerikan womyn's struggle against the misogynistic, capitalist, evil Fox Network against which we must all rail. Her beauty has obviously worked for the Glorious People's Cube in implementing the infiltration. Great work!

KOOK wrote:Looks like Mrs. Red Square has ditched log-toting and gotten an extreme makeover.

We used a proven socialist formula - Amazing all-natural weight-loss People's Log! Millions of Soviet women say “DA!” And if you order within the next five-year-plan, we will send you a free weight-loss hammer and sickle combo!

[img]/images/Weight_Loss_Peoples_Log_Ad.jpg[/img]

One can only assume that "Party members are standing by!"

Comrades I applaud your infiltration of this imperialist reactionary group, but I believe you wasted time fraternizing with Mr. Scarborough and Mr Brooks, for neither is effective spying on this faction.

As you correctly stated Comrade Brooks is assiduously reporting to the Party Organ/New York Times, and already has a microchip transmitter implanted, but unfortunately it has migrated to the peri-anal area where it induces homoerotic thoughts about General Secretary Barack Barackovich Obama. He frequently writes about our leader's pants crease, and his ability to conduct ideological sabotage in this group has been compromised.

Mr. Scarborough is likewise ineffective, as he has been accused of ideological divergence by many at the NRO. Moreover in their eyes he has engaged in historical revisionism when he apologized on national TV to presidential candidate Hillary Clinton for being tough to her during the Whitewater affair. His ability to extract any useful information from this group is certainly reduced by his behavior, and he is not worthy of a transmitter.

Congratulations on an otherwise successful mission.

Red Square wrote: We used a proven socialist formula - Amazing all-natural weight-loss People's Log! Millions of Soviet women say “DA!” And if you order within the next five-year-plan, we will send you a free weight-loss hammer and sickle combo!

Comrade Leader,

Surely you should mention (quietly and quickly) that only a small additional handling and postage fee will be added for the free hammer and sickle thereby doubling the actual cost.

KOOK wrote:El Presidente-- Great job yourself. I hope you don't mind my tinkering with your EXCELLENT idea.

A most excellent improvement, KOOK. I appreciate and admire your more equal skills!Any chance that the Mr. and Mrs. Red Square inspired "The Americans" will be running on the new and improved Current TV Al Jazeera station?

Soon to be a major motion picture!

Kowbellians wonder just how Red Square and Mrs Cube met. Perhaps Mrs Red Square visited the gulag and posted Comrade Red Square's bail?

Where do I trade in my shovel for a log...I want to be as equal as Mrs. Red Square.

Comrade Square and Spouse should not be seen sporting those Beretta 92F's. Where are their Koloshnikovs with 30 round magazines duct taped together which are prohibited in the District of Cummunbia?

Comrade Pistov - those weaponages being held by the squared Red Squares are, in fact, Kalashnikovs - AK-74s, in fact - with SovTek™ cloaking devices attached.

Trotsky would say you were a Hotsky, Gospoja Square....

Commissar Wahoo wrote:Trotsky would say you were a Hotsky, Gospoja Square....

The Peoples Mail Service has already alerted the Director to this subversives intentions.
He will be dealt with, again.

I speak for myself as well as Comrade Tovarich when I say: "What great pictures!" (Right back atcha, Comrade Red Square!)

[img]/mages/clipart/Prog_Off.gif[/img]
We are absolute suckers for seeing happy people and other happy things. Thanks for the "joy" hit! Wonderful! Wonderful! Wonderful!