The People's Cube - Political Satire

The People's Cube story from June this year, Biden Launches New Imaginary Gun Buyback Initiative, must have hit some non-imaginary nerve.

The editors of America's 1st Freedom magazine, official journal of the National Rifle Association, liked it enough to give it an entire spread in the Sept. 2013 issue.

Since America's 1st Freedom is delivered monthly to nearly four million NRA members, guess how many people will get to read our glorious Current Truth™ next month - credited to none other than our very own Party Organ Donor, Ivan "Brain in Jar" Betinov, and containing a big fat blurb about ThePeoplesCube.com?
And guess who's about to get extra rations of beet vodka and potatoes this quarter, in spite of the sequester? For all I know, if he plays his dominoes right and gets Commissarka Pinkie in the right mood, Ivan may even finally receive the coveted "Beet of the Week" award and the prestigious "My son is Beet of the Week at the People's Cube" bumper sticker for his mom!

In the meantime, the digital edition of the September issue is already online. This link will take you directly to the reprinted story.

A screenshot of the spread is below. Click on the image to enlarge.

Forum based spoof? I don't get it?

Be careful - Brain in Jar's head swells much more, he gonna break that jar!

Indeed Comrade! Time to liberate bigger jar that some neo-kulak is hoarding somewhere. Look in hills of northeastern Alabama. I hear they have really big jars that they keep a potent clear liquid in.

I haven't been this happy since Frauline Frankenfeinstein stubbed out her cigar on my pleasure center. This is so cool.

Zampolit, rest assured that the fluid that Comrade Ivan is pickling in is at least 100 proof...

Comrade Brain in Jar!!! you may have my salmon ration also! (But just for a day)

Red Walrus wrote:Forum based spoof? I don't get it?

Comrade Red Walrus, some people realize that this site is like a normal web forum, but think that it spoofs the glories of Communism, Statism, and Our Beloved Leader™, Propeller Beanies Upon Him.

Congratulations, etc. Now get back to work before your shovel rusts.

Ivan Betinov wrote:I haven't been this happy since Frauline Frankenfeinstein stubbed out her cigar on my pleasure center. This is so cool.

CAN YOU NEVER FORGET THE ACCIDENTAL INCIDENT?? HOW WAS I YOU SEE YOU ON THE FLOOR WHEN I WAS CELEBRATING THE PEOPLES VODKA FESTIVAL??!

This is glorious that the lower class will be able to partake in our Upperclassness! I am thinking we should all get free copies, provided by Obamacare, of course. OR Red Square, which ever is more into redistribution!

Incident? My dear Fraulein, it was the most intimate contact I've had since joining the collective.

Speaking of which, I just noticed that this good news comes, by the glories of socialist serendipity, on the sixth anniversary of my joining the collective on 20 August 2007.

Ivan, as resident expert, please clarify; will Uncle Joe be buying back toaster pastries chewed into the shape of deadly weaponry as well?

And to think - Comrade Brain-in-a-Jar chided me regarding a post made during my early days at The People's Cube - I will look up that exchange and print it for framing! I'm so proud!

Ivan Betinov wrote:Incident? My dear Fraulein, it was the most intimate contact I've had since joining the collective.

Speaking of which, I just noticed that this good news comes, by the glories of socialist serendipity, on the sixth anniversary of my joining the collective on 20 August 2007.

AND YOU DO NOT LOOK A DAY OLDER!! Have a free glass of vodka on the Cube (but do not forget to pay the bill)

Be careful with what you wonder, Tovarichi. You may not be a schoolchild, but nobody is too old to escape the scrutiny of Sheriff Joe's NITWITS. Have you been thinking about chewing a toaster pastry into an unacceptable shape?

I confess! I confess! Yesterday I chewed my moldy bread into unacceptable shape! Oh, I will go scourge myself with knout! (Or have knouts been banned, too?)

Comrades, if the following quote by Red Square ever showed up on Politifact, not only would it be rated Pants on Fire, but it would be chosen for Lie of the Year!

Oh, and also if and only he was a Republican:

For all I know, if he plays his dominoes right and gets Commissarka Pinkie in the right mood, Ivan may even finally receive the coveted "Beet of the Week" award and the prestigious "My son is Beet of the Week at the People's Cube" bumper sticker for his mom!

I can't believe Red Square is still perpetuating this lie, and that Betinov doesn't even deign to correct him! So Betinov has never received Beet of the Week? Well, it just so happens that the only two comrades who've received it more frequently than he are Red Square himself and, of course, Superkommissar Maksim.

Since I don't have time for another round of what amounts to a distraction and phony scandal, I shall simply ask all concerned to click on the following link:

https://thepeoplescube.com/current-trut ... t9140.html

Just click. And read. And scroll. And read some more. And scroll some more. And find more links proving that, as usual, I am right.

Besides, due to the Sequester, all the dominoes in the world played right won't get Betinov Beet of the Week. But it will get him a shovel-whacking for not taking Red Square aside and setting the record straight once and for all.

WHACK!!!

Oh, and because Red Square went out of his way to tick me off again, and no doubt takes fiendish delight in doing so, and because Betinov is still staggering within range, Brain-in-a-Jar is once again selected for the prestigious position of Whacking Boy!

WHACK!!!

Clearly, in light of your latest achievement, you were getting too big for your jar anyway, Betinov, though I must say, for someone with an oversized brain you sure aren't very smart sometimes.

Daaaaym. a Two-fer...

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:WHACK!!! WHACK!!!

Indeed.

on a glass jar at that. Awesome.

Yet another unfounded attack. Yet another phony scandal ginned up (and I do mean "ginned"--and possibly vermouthed as well) by Commissarka Pinkie to distract the American Public from the real issue here: the increasing proliferation of Imaginary gun violence in our schools.

Now, I have to go back to work on my State of the Cube speech. And I worked on it until pretty late last night. But I want to say one thing to the American people. I want you to listen to me. I'm going to say this again: I did not receive a Beet of the Week Award from that woman, Commisarka Pinkie. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you! (And I did not plagiarize this denial of charges. Just ask Joe X. Biden; he'll vouch for me.)

Comrade Joe liable to fire a couple of blasts through your jar, Comrade. Be careful.

I'm confused. Is Comrade Betinov "Beet of the Week" or "Beatdown of the Week"?

Comrade Blok, it varies from week to week, mostly depending upon Commissarka Pinkie's mood.

Whoa!

I see there has been some shovel whacking done of late and also some fine infiltration of another degenerate reich-wing publication by our esteemed Ivan Betinov. Congrats to you Comrade!!!!!!!!!, and it is unfortunate that I was unable to express my admiration before you caught the attention of our lovely Commissarka Pinkie and her shovel.

I'd like to apologize but it was only because I was caught up in a really cool movie that I just couldn't peel away from to check in on party business..... (that Nancy Davis is really hot, and I hope she meets a real good fella in the future to marry.)

Ivan Betinov wrote:Yet another unfounded attack. Yet another phony scandal ginned up (and I do mean "ginned"--and possibly vermouthed as well) by Commissarka Pinkie to distract the American Public from the real issue here: the increasing proliferation of Imaginary gun violence in our schools.

Esteemed Comrade Brain in a Jar! I am most impressed as well with your tireless work For the People and agree 100% with what Red Square said. I too, in recognition of your fine work, would like to present you with a Free Weekend Pass to any of my Marshal Pupovich's Party Pleasure House complete with a complimentary pail of potato vodka and beets. Of course the operative work here is "I would like to..." Truth be told I have momentarily lost track of where I put that coupon book, but I am sure it will show up soon.

As for Kommisar Pinkie....well, what can one say? Personally I think she has hit her head on that shovel too many times. But she means well, it's just her shovel doesn't reach all the way to the ground, bless her heart.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Ivan Betinov wrote:Yet another unfounded attack. Yet another phony scandal ginned up (and I do mean "ginned"--and possibly vermouthed as well) by Commissarka Pinkie to distract the American Public from the real issue here: the increasing proliferation of Imaginary gun violence in our schools.

Esteemed Comrade Brain in a Jar! I am most impressed as well with your tireless work For the People and agree 100% with what Red Square said. I too, in recognition of your fine work, would like to present you with a Free Weekend Pass to any of my Marshal Pupovich's Party Pleasure House complete with a complimentary pail of potato vodka and beets. Of course the operative work here is "I would like to..." Truth be told I have momentarily lost track of where I put that coupon book, but I am sure it will show up soon.

As for Kommisar Pinkie....well, what can one say? Personally I think she has hit her head on that shovel too many times. But she means well, it's just her shovel doesn't reach all the way to the ground, bless her heart.

A clear case of "shovel envy" if ever I saw one.

Captain Craptek wrote: A clear case of "shovel envy" if ever I saw one.

While I have suffered from Shovelhead envy in the past, I can assure you that I have nothing but the Highest esteem for my former office mate Commisarka Pinkie, and have fond memories of our time we shared On the Wall.That being said, the erstwhile Party Peasant Queen began to suffer from delusions, suggesting that I sought power and advancement through my Show Trials etc. Bless her heart, she can't help being ugly, but she could've stayed home.

*ducks*

R.O.C.K. in the USSA wrote:*ducks*

Ducks Comrade? If you are warning of any retaliation regarding my comment about Commissarka Pinkie, I must point out that I did use the traditional "bless her heart" that southerners use to deflect any guilt.