The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades!

It is with high praise that I acknowledge prole Tovarichi and his selfless socialist efforts to improve life for all the masses. I recently inquired to him to have some welding work done for the People's Navy Galley ™ to improve our stainless steel buffet serving line, when he had to humbly apologize as he had already committed himself to doing a welding job previously requested by R.O.C.K in the USSA for some modifications on his tour bus. Of course seeing such commitment and dedication to keeping a previous promise such as, ' If you like your plan, you can keep your plan...period' once made just makes this Commodore proud.

I, of course am looking forward to seeing what the tour bus will look like after the welding modifications are completed!!!!

And Comrades, feel free to also share what wonderful work Tovarichi has also done for our collective. For me, I also think it is worthy of high praise that he has now teamed up with R.O.C.K in the USSA to make sure our Socialist Anthems are continually attracting young people to our cause!

Well Done, COMRADES!


Oh, Tovarchi and R.O.C.K just a little minor issue about the tour bus and some discrepancies regarding the diesel usage receipts after gassing up R.O.C.K's tour bus at the tractor farm. Don't worry Ivan Betinov our resident math brain whiz is looking into the matter and it will surely be cleared up in no time.

Here's a pic of the newly repaired tour bus.


[album][/album]

Is Tovarichi's new bus an atavistic iteration of Ken Kesey's vision?


Here's the bus in question:Although, I must admit, Tovi's is much more Mondrianesque, n'est pas?

Capt. Commie, Pamalinsky,

Not sure if Tovarichi was actually repainting the tour bus so that we may re-live the 60's. He mentioned to me that R.O.C.K in the USSA had wanted some additions that required extra sheet metal to wielded to the forward frame of the bus. He also told me that he and R.O.C.K really worked hard together on the design changes. I didn't inquire any further because these are loyal Comrades that can be counted on to only make modifications that would purely meet with Party approval.

I'm sure we will find out soon enough as to what the bus really actually looks like after the modifications. I'm tellin ya, Comrades with proles like these two in the collective, we are sure to get on the road to the world of Next Tuesday in no time.

One of our people's spy's ...... Assistance with the NSA, just happened to be following these suspicious comrades and took this accurate photo. I am thinking comrade R.O.C.K. was driving and therefore responsible for the bus "incident" in the first place?! Just see his suspicious behavior! Any comrade would be reaching for vodka and not wandering aimlessly!

And where is comrade Tovarichi? Delving into selfishness socialist efforts of giving repair instructions or going for more vodka??!

And and I am adding: WHAT THE FREAK ARE COMRADES DOING WITH A DISTRUSTFUL RETHUGLICAN LOOKING BUS?!! Are these traitors in disguise, pretending not to be traitors to the cause?

I demand answers before rewarding either unproven comrade for behavior that may or may not be for the betterment of dear leaders "moving forward" agenda into glorious next Tuesday.

Are these traitors in disguise, pretending not to be traitors to the cause?

I demand answers before rewarding either unproven comrade for behavior that may or may not be for the betterment of dear leaders "moving forward" agenda into glorious next Tuesday.

Now, Now my Pretty little Frau,

Did I tell you your looking as fetching as ever my luscious strudelcake? The last time I saw you looking so good you where wearing your Judges robes. But back to business. There has been some rumors that Tovarichi and R.O.C.K may have filed some erroneous fuel consumption reports, but rest assured it is being investigated as we speak and I am sure nothing will come out of it. As far as the bus accident, it just verifies the reason the bus needed a complete redesign and it's obvious some reichwingger had stumbled across the wreck and took the opportunity to deface it with that vile horrid sticker. I mean Frau we are talking about Tovarichi and R.O.C.K here, two Comrades who only think of others and do everything 'for the children'....I'm sure the investigation will totally exonerate any misgivings you might have.

WE DIDN'T BUILD THAT!!!

:O

Dammit those pesky kids got into the sticker cabinet again.

ROCK, it looks like another ahhh, call it a delay on the project... That new welding apprentice you sent over needs a lot of personal supervision.

It's for the collective I must teach her the ways of the welder's rod...

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:
Now, Now my Pretty little Frau,

Did I tell you your looking as fetching as ever my luscious strudelcake? The last time I saw you looking so good you where wearing your Judges robes. But back to business. There has been some rumors that Tovarichi and R.O.C.K may have filed some erroneous fuel consumption reports, but rest assured it is being investigated as we speak and I am sure nothing will come out of it. As far as the bus accident, it just verifies the reason the bus needed a complete redesign and it's obvious some reichwingger had stumbled across the wreck and took the opportunity to deface it with that vile horrid sticker. I mean Frau we are talking about Tovarichi and R.O.C.K here, two Comrades who only think of others and do everything 'for the children'....I'm sure the investigation will totally exonerate any misgivings you might have.

Most loyal comrade Woogums, that was not studded cake.... but I will make note of your delight. Of topic, have you ever had Struddle Poodle from the People's Roadkill Cafe??? Just curious....

I am not see how these comrades could have filed "erroneous fuel consumption reports" when using the Obama Approved Volt?

I now I must wash my eyes with bleach for viewing what Comrade Tovarichi has burned my visionary eyes with!!! THAT IS NOT COMRADE R.O.C.K. but some slutty...vixen of Tea Bagging group!!

Calm your sweatyness, dear Frau.The young lady can make sparks fly (welding, of course) and is trying her best to get through Vocational- Technical college, like Comrade Fluke is trying to get through law school. She's just working under me this week (academically speaking).

Separate but related: ROCK, I keep telling her to order " head gaskets" she keeps bringing condoms! And her welding suit--when did asbestos fit so snugly? How can I teach her anything while she's wearing that?

Comrade Tovarichi, it's best to just let her do what she does; no teaching is required.

Some people just have built-in skillz :)

Tovarichi wrote:Calm your sweatyness, dear Frau.The young lady can make sparks fly (welding, of course) and is trying her best to get through Vocational- Technical college, like Comrade Fluke is trying to get through law school. She's just working under me this week (academically speaking).

Separate but related: ROCK, I keep telling her to order " head gaskets" she keeps bringing condoms! And her welding suit--when did asbestos fit so snugly? How can I teach her anything while she's wearing that?

I AM DENOUNCING FEMALE RETHUGLICAN AND COMRADES IN DISGRACE. First there is the "incident" with the bus and it's non driveability and inability to be repaired! Even dear leader made apology for stupid people who can not hear what he thought he meant to say and for not hearing what he was thinking of saying!! Disgraced comrades should do the same or something similar... and get rid of the Tea Partying gal pal!!!

Comrade Putout, must I show you how to burn the midnight acetylene as well? When I said welder's rod, by Lenin I meant WELDER'S.

Hey guys..... the damsel is working a cheap knockoff of a wire- feed Miller Arc Welder.


There are no brazing rods involved with its use. PERIOD.

Wait, brazING, not brazEN?

oops. (that little hussy...)

Krasnodar wrote:Hey guys..... the damsel is working a cheap knockoff of a wire- feed Miller Arc Welder.


There are no brazing rods involved with its use. PERIOD.

Irrelevant and immaterial! The hussy helper is not wearing OSHA approved welder's apron to protect her...ahh....skin.

Disgraced comrades should do the same or something similar... and get rid of the Tea Partying gal pal!!!

Now Frau let's not be so hasty here yet and give the boys a chance. After all it seems they are actively involved in rehabilitating this poor young waif from her previous Tea-Party indoctrinated ways. I mean just look her......woo, woo She's hot..... the poor thing, she can't even afford a full welding outfit.

We are completely off the tracks . . . where is the explanation of what comrades were doing with wrecked Rethuglican vehicle? This appears to be at 2nd and 3rd glance, subversion or traitorism in our midst. We cannot allow bus repair to be destroyed for the purpose of hiding RETHUGLICANS SYMPATHIES.

I am wondering if water-boarding is called for! Not to mention loyal comrades have been waiting for the Peoples bus to pick them up from the Peoples Day at the rice factory!!

Commodore--

My sincere apologies for the delay in my report. It is late partially because I am a brain in a jar and have to get somebody to carry me around, but it is late mainly due to the sinister nature of its findings. I wanted to double check and triple check before bringing these suspicions to the collective attention of the collective.

FACT: The diesel fuel main tank in People's Tractor Shed #2 is low by over 50 gallons from the projected expenditures for this month.

FACT: Tovarichi has been spending an inordinate amount of time in and around People's Tractor Shed #2.

FACT: Although Tovarichi claims that the missing diesel fuel was used to cut the People's Vodka ration down to the Party Approved proof level, chemical analysis of said vodka reveals that it has in fact been cut with the left over potato-boiling water.

FACT: Although ROCK claims to have filled the fuel tank of his tour bus at the Circle Che, he cannot produce any fuel receipts and there is no surveillance video of his bus at the fuel pumps at any time in the last two weeks.

Conclusion: As much as it grieves me to say it, I think that we need to see if the color of the diesel fuel the tour bus tank is Agricultural Use Red. If so, there is some explaining to do....

Comrade Betinov,

Thank you for your thorough report and I must admit our beloved Frau just may be right that there may be some nefarious activities going on after all. I received information that R.O.C.K is scheduled to headline a concert out near the town of Benedict Arnold and Tovarichi has volunteered as his roadie. Information is the bus is parked at the............


I'll send one of my Navy investigators out to check out the bus and the fuel to get to the bottom of this in no time.

AND HERE IS MORE PROOF. LOOK AT THIS ACCURATE PHOTO THAT WAS SENT TO MY PRIVATE EMAIL!!! THIS WAS IN ALL THE PAPERS AND TWEETERS... and stuff! Papers and stuff do not lie!

TREACHERY!!!!!!!!!! BETRAYAL!!!!!!!!!!! and just ROTTEN BEHAVIOR

COMRADES!!!!!!

My investigator has reported back and the NO-TEL MOTEL Auto-port has revealed itself to be nothing more then a wretched hive of scum and villainy!!!!! (hey, that's pretty good to be able to even outdo Washington D.C) Proles Tovarachi and R.O.C.K in The USSA not only have been siphoning diesel fuel from the tractor farm to gas up their tour bus, but have also used state funds to weld modifications that have turned their Rock and Roll tour bus into THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!........ A TEA-PARTY CHICK MAGNET.... In order to snag Tea Party GROUPIES!!!!!!


I DEMAND that JUDGE FRAU issue search warrants post haste, as to who knows what else we will find in that seedy reichwingger motel for more evidence of their guilt . COMRADES these two fiends will soon see that the People's justice is done. There is only one way that this will go from now on and that is with a PEOPLE'S SHOW TRIAL 2013 ThanksMarxgiving Edition Tickets soon to go on sale see your local Commissar ......

* Friendly Reminder: The best seats for a show trial always goes to the Comrades who bring in further evidence of their guilt and involvement in any other nefarious plots and traitorous activities against our beloved party.

<knocks on door to adjoining room>

"The blonde is still sleeping but this brunette is wide awake; is your mini-bar empty yet?
I just cant believe these nice ladies or ones like them are at every event! Hey ROCK, Did you hear anything outside? Me neither..."

ah ha, it seems more evidence has been provided to my super private email!!

Be advised that the party has now dispatched a crack evidence gathering team to the NO-TEL MOTEL scene. Be advised any TEA Party groupies that are caught up in this web of deceit will have their mug-shots photographed by already assigned trusted party personnel ONLY.... so you can all stop volunteering now.

3 - Did they request a 'REGULAR BED' or a 'Heated WAWA BED?'

Comrade Putout,

You can definitely but all your rubles on the 'heated WAWA Bed'..... Add another charge! Waterbed use during drought conditions !!!

COMRADES!

Disgusting evidence of this betrayal and treachery is now pouring in. It has been verified that the bear-skin rug this TEA Party groupie was sitting on in the NO-TEL MOTEL was shot by SARAH PALIN personally.

This horror continues!

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:COMRADES!

Disgusting evidence of this betrayal and treachery is now pouring in. It has been verified that the bear-skin rug this TEA Party groupie was sitting on in the NO-TEL MOTEL was shot by SARAH PALIN personally.

This horror continues!

Commodore Snoogie perhaps you are over excited? The Polar Bear is a KKKapitalist tool. The fascist menace KKKoke retains all commercial control. Do you not recognize that red garb as belonging to no naif, friend you see this everyday in the Tochka! Santa's little "helper". Yes the biggest KKKapitalist syndicate of all the Santa Claus.

Commodore...Commodore.... I can hardly bear to bear the news. It is worse, far worse, than we ever imagined. We could possibly overlook the mere misallocation of resources. But this.... No. I must do my duty, however painful it may be.

I accompanied the People's Galley Crack Flying Squad (fine lads they are) as they descended on the crime scene. I was with them when they breached the door of the tour bus, and I had my iProg out and ready to capture this shocking footage:



The entire back of the bus has been converted into a pudding wrestling pit, and as we entered these two women, subsequently identified as members of the local TEA Party organization, were locked in mortal combat. As you can see, the Blonde has just dropped the Atomic Wedgie on the Brunette.

Not only were R.O.C.K. in the USSA and Tovarichi present, but R.O.C.K. was wearing a referee shirt while Tovarichi was opening a fifty-five gallon drum of what was later determined to be vanilla pudding.

Both fled through the emergency exit of the bus and disappeared into the motel. Further updates from on-site will be forthcoming.

--Sent from my iProg

Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:

Commodore Snoogie Woogums wrote:COMRADES!

Disgusting evidence of this betrayal and treachery is now pouring in. It has been verified that the bear-skin rug this TEA Party groupie was sitting on in the NO-TEL MOTEL was shot by SARAH PALIN personally.

This horror continues!

Commodore Snoogie perhaps you are over excited? The Polar Bear is a KKKapitalist tool. The fascist menace KKKoke retains all commercial control. Do you not recognize that red garb as belonging to no naif, friend you see this everyday in the Tochka! Santa's little "helper". Yes the biggest KKKapitalist syndicate of all the Santa Claus.

Oh yeah, Comrade Mike, I've heard about this Polar Bear thing. The evil capitalists have turned the Polar Bear into a coin. A silver coin selling for less than it takes to mine the suckers! What an opportunity! They are flying off the shelves!


They're "flying off the shelves" so much that they're offering you 10 "Fur Seals" for free for each Polar Bear you buy. Such a deal!

Ivan Betinov wrote:Commodore...Commodore.... I can hardly bear to bear the news. It is worse, far worse, than we ever imagined. We could possibly overlook the mere misallocation of resources. But this.... No. I must do my duty, however painful it may be.

I accompanied the People's Galley Crack Flying Squad (fine lads they are) as they descended on the crime scene. I was with them when they breached the door of the tour bus, and I had my iProg out and ready to capture this shocking footage:



The entire back of the bus has been converted into a pudding wrestling pit, and as we entered these two women, subsequently identified as members of the local TEA Party organization, were locked in mortal combat. As you can see, the Blonde has just dropped the Atomic Wedgie on the Brunette.

Not only were R.O.C.K. in the USSA and Tovarichi present, but R.O.C.K. was wearing a referee shirt while Tovarichi was opening a fifty-five gallon drum of what was later determined to be vanilla pudding.

Both fled through the emergency exit of the bus and disappeared into the motel. Further updates from on-site will be forthcoming.

--Sent from my iProg

Ivan, this is so disgusting even I, a made Prog, don't know what to say. I mean, I know that such gross behavior serves to further our cause, that being the disintegration of Amerikan society. Still, something in me finds this um, hard to take. It's about the mud pudding and all. I dunno, maybe that's just me. I like to keep personal hygiene at the formost in my endeavors. You know, like clean air, clean food, clean everything! I like clean thingys everywhere! Clean is good, especially those windmill thingys that kill record numbers of endangered birds.


Who cares! It's about "clean™"

Dearest Pamski, cleanliness is still next to Obama-liness, and both ladies were seen washing their hands prior to the contest. One even took off her work boots before getting in the ring! This has to be a party approved sport, as it provides entertainment and feeds the children.

Say, Comrade Commodore, have you heard anything about Dear Leader (PBUH) purging his senior Naval Officers? This might not be a good time to go " stirring the borscht" if you know what I mean...

Tovarichi wrote:Dearest Pamski, cleanliness is still next to Obama-liness, and both ladies were seen washing their hands prior to the contest. One even took off her work boots before getting in the ring! This has to be a party approved sport, as it provides entertainment and feeds the children.

Well then, there you have it. Washing hands will always get my vote. I'll even give the babe who actually took off her boots a pass. But did they brush their teeth before acting? And use government approved mouthwash? Oh yeah, and the party-approved floss? This needs to have regulation applied to it in order to assure complete compliance. For the children, of course.Have fun, Comrades. Happiness is just a regulation away!

Pamalinsky, the demand for pelts is overwhelming. The collective is cranking out as many as possible... perhaps central planning should revisit the beet production goals, and shift production to pelts? Either way the swine Hunt brothers will benefit from silver and pizza monopoly, swine.

Tovarichi wrote:Say, Comrade Commodore, have you heard anything about Dear Leader (PBUH) purging his senior Naval Officers? This might not be a good time to go " stirring the borscht" if you know what I mean...

Yeah, Comrade Commodore, I've got Tovarichi's back on this one.What indeed is up with the Senior Naval Officer Purges? Huh? My question derives from my deeply felt anxiety that I may have to actually face reality. This is unacceptable! Please! Tell me something good. Something I can spin. (I'm begging you.)

Soviet Mike Komsomolets wrote:Pamalinsky, the demand for pelts is overwhelming. The collective is cranking out as many as possible... perhaps central planning should revisit the beet production goals, and shift production to pelts? Either way the swine Hunt brothers will benefit from silver and pizza monopoly, swine.

Um, er, thanks for your reply, dear Mike. Please forgive me while I immediately become indisposed (upchuck). Well, there goes my retirement fund. Sigh!

Say, Comrade Commodore, have you heard anything about Dear Leader (PBUH) purging his senior Naval Officers? This might not be a good time to go " stirring the borscht" if you know what I mean...

Tovarchi!!!!!

NEWSFLASH...You and R.O.C.K were caught with your pants down at the NO-TELL MOTEL and have been shown to be engaged with vanilla pudding mud wrestling with TEA PARTY harpies that were giving atomic wedgies to each other!!!! Dear Leader, as you know is actively engaged in reducing our nuclear arsenal and just out sourcing the whole thing to Putin in Russia and atomic wedgies he would not doubt never approve of and instead of purging, would demand that I take action !!!!

More evidence has been piling in on you two and formal proceedings have now being engaged to try both of you under a Military tribunal as atomic wedgies fall under military perusal. If I were the both of you I'd just hope that the party assigns you a competent defense Attorney to help you write your confessions because if it was left to you two miscreants it would no doubt involve only the use of crayons.............

Jeesh, Commodore Snoogie, Cool your jets! I mean all these guys have to do is say it was chocolate pudding instead of vanilla pudding and they're all set. AG Holder is holding out for these heros. Not to worry. Relax. Even Holder knows how to use crayons. He understands™.

Fear not Pamalinsky, ROCK and I did not fall off the beet truck last night, (though we signed up here within about ten days of each other...) and we're experienced enough to handle the village elders when they get cranky. And I do so love Vanilla pudding, it comes in second after bannana!


Say, good Commodore Snoogie? A moment of your time?

TAILHOOK 35 in 1991 was an elementary school homeroom birthday party compared to the events in the Officer' Wardroom on that last North Sea cruise, wouln't you say? The Photographs would make Petraeus look like an altar boy, now would they not?
Those letters to your"girl back home" with the cute red nose and babushka and the things you would ask her to do with that shovel would make Comrade Putout blush...

One word, and Krasnodar (when sober, and properly Jiffy-Lobo'd) will update his website...

Should such data be released onto Comrade Gore's interwebs, a promising Naval Career would be right down the crapper, and nobody wants that.

Just remember the phrase Comrade ROCK taught me... "its OK, I'm with the Band..."

Those "harpies" make some damn fine pudding, and they were nice girls at that.




and back to the welding job, just to make sure, according to the workorder, you wanted this treatment done on a bus using Red Square for a hood ornament?

Uh...Tovarichi...I've been assigned to be your court-appointed defense counsel, and my decided advice to you is 1) Shut up and 2) Drink Heavily. (Tust me, I'm in pre-law. Or maybe it was pre-med. What's the difference) Although you don't know it, you and R.O.C.K. have been on double secret probation for a while now. This is serious.

For the good of the children, I offer my testimony in this matter.

Pamalinsky, so you are indisposed...
Hmmm the symptom is familiar... Polonium-210 in your tea perhaps?

I refuse to become mired in this atomic pudding mess. You'll have to deal with it yourselves, ROCK-Tovi Band!

Ivan Betinov wrote:Uh...Tovarichi...I've been assigned to be your court-appointed defense counsel, and my decided advice to you is 1) Shut up and 2) Drink Heavily. (Tust me, I'm in pre-law. Or maybe it was pre-med. What's the difference) Although you don't know it, you and R.O.C.K. have been on double secret probation for a while now. This is serious.

Comrade Ivan, Welcome to the Party! I look forward to your assistance, and that of your co-counsel, Anyer Marx! I've seen him in action...



ROCK, this is awesome, if you get the blacklight close to Ivan, he lights up like a neon sign and babbles like a lawyer! If only we could project this on the screen behind a drummer...

[color=#C0392B]Tovarichi[/color] was breathless when he wrote:If only we could project this on the screen behind a drummer...

I refuse to become mired in this atomic pudding mess. You'll have to deal with it yourselves, ROCK-Tovi Band!

Capt Craptek,

I've now been assigned as Judge for the military tribunal / Show Trial for these two miscreants. As such, I am proud that you have now volunteered your services as an expert witness for the state in case that shifty new defense Attorney of theirs Ivan Betinov goes for an insanity defense, as you are the resident expert on everything involving....... nuts.

Our lovely and our oh so delectable Frau, has been assigned as prosecutor and she is going through the evidence that has been piling in as we speak.....

TOVARICHI / R.O.C.K in the USSA be advised of the following:

Until all the evidence has been compiled to ensure all charges are captured you are still free to go about your business with out fear of surveillance(HAHAHAHAHAHA)until the court date is set and you are also able to consult at anytime with your shifty defense Attorney to work on whatever pathetic defense you can come up with. The court recommends to you that in conjunction with working with your defense attorney that he also updates your wills to reflect your current status.

COURT UPDATE:

To all proles all further posts should from now on be placed at the link below instead!

https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog ... 12139.html

Thank ye kindly for the program tip Comrade!

I've updated Frau's lovely visage with your assistance to now truly reflect her beauty!!!

COURT UPDATE:

To all proles all further posts should from now on be placed here at the link below instead!

https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog ... 12139.html

Almost ready for the hood ornament...

Man, that is one short bus.

The Commodore's "special needs" have been accommodated...