The People's Cube - Political Satire

As we approach the 50th anniversary of the death of Dear Leader Obama's friend and mentor JFK, dramatic new evidence has surfaced which will undoubtedly provide insight into the true cause of the terrible events of Nov 22, 1963.

The photo below, authenticated by mainstream media photo experts as "fake but accurate", proves conclusively that peaceful Marxist Lee Harvey Oswald was a patsy for the real killer, the right wing climate of hate engendered by people such as Sarah Palin.

Indeed, this concept has gained creedence in recent weeks as not-at-all-addle-brained experts such as one James McAuley, writing on the very factual op-ed pages of the important NY Times, have proven conclusively that the City of Dallas itself "willed" the death of president Obama's best friend, JFK:

Those “men of Dallas” — men like my grandfather, oil men and corporate executives, self-made but self-segregated in a white-collar enclave in a decidedly blue-collar state — often loathed the federal government at least as much as, if not more than, they did the Soviet Union or Communist China.

This characterization is undoubtedly familiar to all of us and, not coincidentally, fits a certain group of hate-filled lunatics to a "T" (or should we say "TEA".)

Hateful government loathers who obsess over things like budget deficits and other numerical minutiae will protest that Sarah Palin was not even born until February 1964 and thus could not have been responsible for the murder of Barack Obama's godfather, JFK. This, while factually true, is what the modern journalistic trade would call "accurate but fake."

In reality, the job of journalists (or "deciders", as we call ourselves when we think no one is listening) is not to waste time reporting on facts and other useless trivia but to draw out broad, big-picture themes that the general public can't normally grasp without help. Using these innovative modern techniques of forensic investigation, journalists and historians have now solved a fifty-year-old mystery regarding the death of Obama's uncle, JFK, by showing a direct connection between this crime and the things Sarah Palin and others like her stand for.

What's more, the conclusions have been shown to be correct as loathing experts experts on loathing such as Paul Krugman and Froma Hallop demonstrated that Sarah Palin was also responsible for the attempted assassination of Gabby Giffords in 2011. The evidence is as solid as the case for global warming. So there.

As the nation solemnly commemorates the fiftieth anniversary of the events of Nov. 22, 1963, we must finally come to grips with the reality that it was right-wing hate and not a left-wing rifleman that murdered Obama's grandfather, JFK. Those deniers that still refuse to accept this and even worse, those who still shamelessly profess to agree with the views of haters like Palin are pulling the trigger just as surely as if they were there in the book depository building themselves five decades ago. Those people are despicable and should be denied healthcare, and if we ever remove the GOP sabotage from the website...

I knew it all along...

Thank Lenin we have someone the caliber quality awesomeness of Prezzy MompantsOnFire to continue the legend!

It appears Comrade Bashir has thug Palin's number alright. If everyone would listen carefully to Comrade Martin's suggestions for Sarah Palin, she never would have gotten off any of those rounds. And to think the Super thug Mark Levin comes to her rescue. Levin and his followers make me sick.
[list]
[*]Mark Levin Slashes "Disgraceful" Martin Bashir: "Stay In Your Own Country"[/list]

Comrade Opiate,

I was disappointed by your failure to add the one additional paragraph to your story in which JFK was revealed as Dear Leader's real father! Now that would have been newsworthy.

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:Hardly worth mentioning, but one minor detail the Comrade Opiate should factor in to his theory-

Sara Palin wasn't born until February 11, 1964

Comrade, you must be one of the "Hateful government loathers who obsess over things like budget deficits and other numerical minutiae will protest that Sarah Palin was not even born until February 1964"....

Captain Craptek wrote:Comrade Opiate,

I was disappointed by your failure to add the one additional paragraph to your story in which JFK was revealed as Dear Leader's real father! Now that would have been newsworthy.

Well, the story mentions that JFK was Obama's godfather (among other things.) Since Obama is a sort-of-god, that reference should cover it.

Numerical factoids must never interfere with an ongoing conspiracy.

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:Hardly worth mentioning, but one minor detail the Comrade Opiate should factor in to his theory-

Sara Palin wasn't born until February 11, 1964

How dare you. HOW DARE YOU!

WHACK!!!

How do you even know this, Vladimir, when no one has ever seen her birth certificate? Why, she could've been born anytime, anywhere for all anyone knows! Even she can't know for certain because she's such a stupid idiot. Just like her slobbering defenders.

Just like YOU.

WHACK!!!

You know how she's always saying she can see Russia from her house? Well, maybe she was born in Mongolia and that's how she could see Russia. Who knows? No one knows, especially not Sarah Palin, because she's a LIAR and a STUPID IDIOT.

Just like YOU!

WHACK!!!

I'll bet you have a crush on her. Cripes, now I'm going to have to throw away my shovel and demand the government give me a new one, just because this one came into contact with someone who loves and worships Sarah Palin so much that he's infected with her cooties which are now on my shovel.

Dammit, Scratchanitch, we're trying to hold an honest, civil debate here about who really killed JFK. We don't need you filthing it up with your paranoid rightwing conspiracy theories, so take your stupidity and your hate speech somewhere else.

You disgust me.

Oh, and you're also a racist.

A TRIPLE whacking!

I'm still looking for the lowest bid on witnesses that put George Bush on the grassy knoll with an assault rifle and a high capacity magazine.

O.
M.
G.

Pinkie, I am in awe of your magnificent (and fully progressive) whackage!

Say, do shovels get a full military burial with honors and stuff when they've served their last whack? I've always wondered. Maybe a 21 Shovel Scoop Salute or some such?

I am in awe. Though I have felt the whack of Pinkie's shovel, this is the first time I've witnessed a triple whacking.

YIKES!

Instead of marching forward toward the Glorious World of Next Tuesday.... I see Scratchy got himself whacked back all the way back to last Tuesday instead.

https://thepeoplescube.com/peoples-blog/topic7780.html#129825

The record still stands.

10:55 am, 09-11-2011 a four whack single post.

Comrade Caddell did say that the evil, racist Tea Party started with the JFK assassination so it is not surprising that their bitter clinger Queen was responsible....

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:<SNIP>

How dare you. HOW DARE YOU!

WHACK!!! <SNIP>

WHACK!!! <SNIP>

WHACK!!! <SNIP>

Wow. Didn't I wonder aloud a few days ago why we haven't heard from Commissarka Pinkie for quite a long time?

Sheeeeeez Baaaaackkk

And just like Bob Beckel is such a breath of fresh air when he takes over the usual dribble on Five at Five and starts yelling his great, wise words, Commisarka Pinkie makes this old Prog's heart all aflutter.

Scratchanitch will certainly reconsider his thoughts carefully next time Comrade Opiate offers a theory.

Scratchanitch will definitely be aware that dates of events are of no significance to the Collective-

A subject has no beginning, and no ending (unless properly executed at the Will of the State).

Vladimir_Scratchanitch wrote:

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:<SNIP>

How dare you. HOW DARE YOU!

WHACK!!! <SNIP>

WHACK!!! <SNIP>

WHACK!!! <SNIP>

Three whacks that changed America.

Are you insinuating, Comrade Soviet, that St. President Kennedy...was killed by a shovel?

Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:Are you insinuating, Comrade Soviet, that St. President Kennedy...was killed by a shovel?

No, Comrade Scratchanitch was being whacked by Commisarka Pinkie's shovel.

Old, OLD running joke around here.

Be prepared, she may come after you next

Or at me for saying it's an old running joke.

WHO'S OLD?

WHO'S RUNNING?

WHO'S A JOKE?

... like the hot kiss at the end of a wet fist

KrystynaKorrekted wrote:Comrade Caddell did say that the evil, racist Tea Party started with the JFK assassination so it is not surprising that their bitter clinger Queen was responsible....

The proletariat was losing trust in the People's institutions; thank a sort-of-god that ObamaCare will soon be restoring said trust again.

Soviet Mike, welcome new comrade, grab a shovel and help the collective as we hurtle down the path toward next Tuesday...

Speaking of shovels, you've seen the effects of Comissarka Pinkie... She's just a cute teddybear with a case of PMS that never ends and takes out her hostilities with the golden shovel of enlightenment and revenge. (She has a mean follow through that has changed the game of golf forever). Just don't make eye contact...

Learn quickly, respect your elders, watch your language, treat the ladies with respect, and always stay out of range of Pinkies shovel. People's director Red Square is the big cheese around here, what he says goes. Keep your beets weeded and harvest on time, vote early and vote often!

And she can put a back-spin on it that would make Obama proud.

Rather than JFK saying; "My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what can you do for your country", he should of said; "My fellow Comrades, The State will do for you, all you have to do is serve The State". He would still be alive today. Jus' sayin'
Che'