Securing The Future by Backing Up Everything You Say or Write
As part of a new online backup service called Citizen Cloud, the NSA will proudly archive emails, phone calls, social network data and financial transactions for anyone on the internet.
Simply continue using your phone and your computer, while the NSA silently records and archives:
- all your photos
- all your contacts
- all your correspondence
Thanks to US taxpayers, the NSA's Citizen Cloud is free to use.
Comrades, isn't it wonderful that we have the benevolent and ever watchful ObamaStasi to keep an eye on all, lest we stray from the collective path Forward that Comrade Barrack, most excellent Liar to all has laid out for US?
We all should be ever thankful that his socialist worker's party has chosen to take care and control of the people for their own good.
[I for one am personally grateful that my writings will be held in storage so I don't have back them up]
Going by the old adage that if I were not doing anything wrong by the lights of the collective then I should not worry.
Attention from the kindhearted ObamaStasi will only mean that I may have inadvertently strayed from the course of the collective and thus they will do their best to ‘nudge' me back to serving the people.
11/24/2013, 11:37 am
Anyer Marx
Users should note that the Citizen Cloud may download on you at any time. With, or preferably without a <spit!> "warrant" <ptooey!>
11/24/2013, 3:59 pm
R.O.C.K. in the USSA
Comrade People's Director, this new Citizen Cloud™ is truly a glorious step FORWARD! for the USSA!
Why pay for Carbonite™, or even thumb drives, when the Obama Administration offers the same service for free (like, of course, so many OTHER delightful free stuffy things) with Citizen Cloud™?
11/24/2013, 4:04 pm
Comrade Otis
Throw out those old external hard-drives sold to you by the sharks of capital with the rest of your garbage. Strong Communism and the State lead the way in innovation. This is the future of back-up. Join the future! You can rely on the NSA!
11/24/2013, 6:22 pm
Captain Craptek
Comrades,
Dear Leader is pleased with Citizen's Cloud. All five levels of security are now accessible.
11/24/2013, 11:51 pm
COLOSSUS
11/25/2013, 1:42 am
R.O.C.K. in the USSA
Meanwhile, in related news: certain well known British personalities are claiming to own all rights to the Citizen Cloud™, stating that people need to have some sympathy, and some taste. They noted for the record that unless other Cloud users use all their well learned politics they'll lay their souls to waste.
11/25/2013, 2:54 am
COLOSSUS
11/25/2013, 3:09 pm
Pamalinsky
Captain Craptek wrote:Comrades,
Dear Leader is pleased with Citizens Cloud. All five levels of security are now accessible.
Perfect Reception.jpg
Comrade Crap, your post reminds me so much of our dear Comrade Dante, a true believer in, well, the nine circles of hell. It does, indeed, provoke certain propensities of our Dear Oleander, does it not? I can't help but notice this. His steps show the exact steps to realize a communist state.Comrade Dante's Inferno
11/25/2013, 3:33 pm
Captain Craptek
Pamalinsky wrote:
Captain Craptek wrote:Comrades,
Dear Leader is pleased with Citizens Cloud. All five levels of security are now accessible.
Perfect Reception.jpg
Comrade Crap, your post reminds me so much of our dear Comrade Dante, a true believer in, well, the nine circles of hell. It does, indeed, provoke certain propensities of our Dear Oleander, does it not? I can't help but notice this. His steps show the exact steps to realize a communist state.Comrade Dante's Inferno
Yes Comrade Pami... and Dear Leader will announce his departure to the nether regions with a final tune to his flock:
"Bolgia 5: Corrupt politicians (barrators) are immersed in a lake of boiling pitch, which represents the sticky fingers and dark secrets of their corrupt deals. The barrators are the political analogue of the simoniacs, and Dante devotes several cantos to them. They are guarded by devils called the Malebranche ("Evil Claws"), who provide some savage and satirical black comedy – in the last line of Canto XXI, the sign for their march is provided by a fart: "and he had made a trumpet of his ass."
11/25/2013, 3:50 pm
KOOK
COLOSSUS wrote:
COLOSSUS: Your courage as a Citizen's-Cloud Storm-Chaser deserves credit via a wide-angle news photo showing your daring operation of the Peoples Cube Citizen's-Cloud-Glitch Chaser in capturing the image of the Obamanado spawned by a Citizen-Cloud Glitch. For this you will receive a one-year supply of Peoples Funnell Cakes for your Heroic Capture of a live image of an Obama-Funnel-Cloud redistributing property heretofore unfairly situated to benefit only a Few rather than being broadly distributed among The Many.
--KOOK
11/25/2013, 3:53 pm
Pamalinsky
Comrade Crap, I did want to mention, in my private life, as well as so many others, which I have researched, re: "and he made a trumpet of his ass." Everyone I have interviewed, including my own spouse, says when someone you love farts, it's like nuthin' says lovin" like somethin' from the oven. Ya gotta love that. Hmmmm?
I do, however, get your point. Context counts! No? : • ) XXX!
11/25/2013, 4:03 pm
Pamalinsky
KOOK wrote:
COLOSSUS wrote:
COLOSSUS: Your courage as a Citizen's-Cloud Storm-Chaser deserves credit via a wide-angle news photo showing your daring operation of the Peoples Cube Citizen's-Cloud-Glitch Chaser in capturing the image of the Obamanado spawned by a Citizen-Cloud Glitch. For this you will receive a one-year supply of Peoples Funnell Cakes for your Heroic Capture of a live image of an Obama-Funnel-Cloud redistributing property heretofore unfairly situated to benefit only a Few rather than being broadly distributed among The Many.
... So, you must feign cravings for things such as funnel cakes.
--KOOK
11/26/2013, 6:28 am
COLOSSUS
11/26/2013, 1:04 pm
KOOK
COLOSSUS wrote: ... [the flaw in KOOK's theory is that if Landru were to have feigned human behavior such as funnel-cake eating, it would have done him no good because his feigning sympathy did him no good] ...
But there's a flaw in what you claim is a flaw in my Funnel-Cake theory:
Star Trek - The True Identity of Landru & the Funnel-Cake Space-Time Paradox
If Landru had projected himself eating funnel cake, Spock would have said to Kirk: "Jim, It's Chris Christie from the early 21st Century, whose weight warped the time-space continuum in 2013 and catapulted him into our time-line and onto this planet, where he was assimilated into the Mind of Landru and turned the blue planet purple with his combative style of leadership and imperviousness to any form of attack, so we must not even let him read any thought about doing anything agressive."
Landru/Funnel-Cake-Eating Christie would not have feigned sympathy -- Indeed, his persona would have struck terror into the human half of Spock's heart and into Kirk's mind and heart.
