The People's Cube - Political Satire

Putin Uses Secret Weapon in Ukraine-- RUUGLE Glasses



Although Breitbart has been reporting that Putin is only using "not-so-secret" weapons to win in Ukraine, our highly reliable and reliably high sources have assured us that the opposite is true. Russia's new KGB has developed and deployed a new secret weapon to enable Putin to keep his eyes on Ukrainain women brandishing their GUNS. The name of the secret weapon is "RUUGLE Glasses."

In fact, the new KGB has produced illustrations of such secret weapon in a number of sizes:
200x96, 250x120, 275x132, 300x144, 350x168, 400x192, 450x216, 500x240, 600x288 and 700x336

To learn why the KGB found it necessary to develop this secret weapon against mere Ukrainian Women, go the TPC thread titled "Ukrainian Women Get Their Guns Ready for Putin."

Meanwhile, DARPA is desperately trying to develop some new secret weapons to enable Obama to halt Putin's Long March to the Atlantic Ocean and the rest of the Artic Circle.

Dalia Grybauskaitė, the Presiden of Lithuania, said (in an obvious allusion to the wicked Sarah Palin), "If we don't get some secret weapons to counter Putin's Long March Westward, I won't merely be able to 'see Russia from my house,' but rather, my house will be IN Russia. And we don't even have a single brigade of Lithuanian women able, or willing, to brandish big GUNS at Putin."

In response, Putin said that President Grybauskaitė should stop her alarmist worrying because "Everyone knows, the bear never eats the fish, it only eats the skin of the fish."

--KOOK

A devastating weapon, indeed, Comrade. I'm not sure they can compete with VP Uncle Joe Biden and a shipment of defensive socks, however. Time will tell.

trashmouth wrote:

COMRADES, DEAR LEADER NOT ONLY HAS

SECRET SUB PAR GLASSES, BUT

CARRIES A BIG STICK

(on the back nine )

...

We can be sure DARPA is working frantically to rectify the sub-par nature of those glasses. But I never understood "sub par" because I thought "sub" means below and thus "sub-par" means "below par" or "under par," which in golf is supposed to be good and over-par was bad. I guess I haven't played enough golf. Apparently "sub-par" really means "over-par" -- aaahhhh, now I get it-- it's like the Current Truth, which is designed to confuse our adversaries. Thus, non-golfing Obama critics will use the term without knowing it really means "below par." No, wait a minute. Maybe golfers use the terms "sub par" just to confuse the masses in the same way the French designed the point-system for tennis.

Could there be such things as sub-par tennis balls or sub-par tennis players?

What about submarines? Are they below-standard marines?

Isn't a shotgun really a sub-machine gun?

What about subliminal? Sublingual? Subterfuge? Substance?

Where's my vodka?

--KOOK

KOOK wrote: We can be sure DARPA is working frantically to rectify the sub-par nature of those glasses. But I never understood "sub par" because I thought "sub" means below and thus "sub-par" means "below par" or "under par," which in golf is supposed to be good and over-par was bad. I guess I haven't played enough golf. Apparently "sub-par" really means "over-par" -- aaahhhh, now I get it-- it's like the Current Truth, which is designed to confuse our adversaries. Thus, non-golfing Obama critics will use the term without knowing it really means "below par." No, wait a minute. Maybe golfers use the terms "sub par" just to confuse the masses in the same way the French designed the point-system for tennis.

Could there be such things as sub-par tennis balls or sub-par tennis players?

What about submarines? Are they below-standard marines?

Isn't a shotgun really a sub-machine gun?

What about subliminal? Sublingual? Subterfuge? Substance?

Where's my vodka?

--KOOK

Subside, comrade, subside. Do not ask questions lest you be suspected of attempting to think. Dear Leader will explain all to you. ("'Shut up,' he explained.")

I submit that the subcontractor subjectively substituted substandard subflooring, subdividing suburban subleases. My subordinates and I don't subscribe to this subliminally substantive subtopic.

It's all subterfuge, Comrades.

Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:It's all subterfuge, Comrades.

Comrade Kelly,

Yes - and subterfuge employed to undermine the subject's natural impulses will lead to sublimation and subsequent redirection of his base animal instincts to a higher cause, i.e., the ultimate goal - Utopia!

Captain Craptek wrote:

Kelly Ivanovna/келя ивановна wrote:It's all subterfuge, Comrades.

Comrade Kelly,

Yes - and subterfuge employed to undermine the subject's natural impulses will lead to sublimation and subsequent redirection of his base animal instincts to a higher cause, i.e., the ultimate goal - Utopia!

Yes indeed -- the land of Next Tuesday,™ in which all sublimity subsists.