The People's Cube - Political Satire

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Comrades, in the waning days of the 2008 national popularity contest between Dear Leader and that wrinkly white-haired dude, Dear Leader promised us fundamental change. By golly, he has delivered!

Not only has he changed tax dollars into luxurious vacations for himself, FLATUS, and all their most trusted comrades, but he is hard at work fundamentally changing the English language.
When we have a word that ends in "-ing." the correct thing to do is replace the "g" with an apostrophe. So, when you lecture the rethugs about hating Dear Leader, say hatin'. Of course, then you must add the word "on," as in hatin' on Dear Leader.

I realize this seems a bit awkward and as if Dear Leader is talking like a hick but this is how Dear Leader wants us to speak, Comrades. Disagreement with Dear Leader amounts to treason as noted in a comment by Comrade Unified Information. And absolutely, it is hatin' on Dear Leader. Don't do that.

You see, Comrades, the "in" when followed by "g" is racist. It is too bourgeois. It is used this way by evil, racist wrinkly white dudes who are rich - unlike Dear Leader who is merely rich and only HALF white.

We need to speak the way Dear Leader wants. Or better yet, just learn Spanish to accommodate all of our glorious future party voters flooding through the border.

Over at the blog written by FLATUS' mirror, which gives us a rare glimpse of what goes on inside the Big White (oops, was that racist and should I denounce myself?) we learn of two other words where the "g" must be dropped: helpin' and simplifyin'.

Comrades, what other words have you heard about, with a new Party-approved spelling and meaning?

Just to be on the safe side, perhaps we should simply remove the letter "g" from the En*lish lan*ua*e. Dear Leader (all hail and praise His name) doesn't have that letter anywhere in his name, nor does his lovely (HACK! COUGH!) spouse. It is therefore a useless letter.

Seeing how the alphabet dates to the semitic languages of the 2nd millennium BC then POTUS is justifiably anti-semitic.

LMFAO (whatever that/they is/are) has already jumped under on the bus bandwagon!

The State should eliminate the "garbage letters " : W,X,Y & Z
They're the appendix of the alphabet, and used about as often as Nancy Pelosi uses common sense.

W may need a waiver, but Q has to go. Besides, Arabic (and thus Dear Leader) does not even use letters G, P, or V.

Comrades,

Is it fair that "e" has to be in most words we use?

Get Rid of them all! abcdefghijklmnpqrstuvwxyz Except for one more equal than others...
O.

Comrades, at first I was going to agree with dumping the G and the Q and even WXYZ from the alphabet since none of these letters are in Dear Leader's most glorious name. But then it occurred to me that we simply can't. To do that would make us homophobes and we would be hatin' on the gays and the greater LGBTQ community by taking letters away from their acronym. And we will need to keep WXYZ for their expansion purposes. And of course just as disagreement with Dear Leader amounts to treason, taking letters away from our comrades in the LGBTQ movement also amounts to treason, and, well, hatin' on them. We can't do that.

Thought Sheriff wrote:Get Rid of them all! abcdefghijklmnpqrstuvwxyz Except for one more equal than others...
O.

Sheriff, Is that the letter "O" or a zero? . I get those two mixed up all the time.

Comrade Vlad Linen wrote:Comrades, at first I was going to agree with dumping the G and the Q and even WXYZ from the alphabet since none of these letters are in Dear Leader's most glorious name. But then it occurred to me that we simply can't. To do that would make us homophobes and we would be hatin' on the gays and the greater LGBTQ community by taking letters away from their acronym. And we will need to keep WXYZ for their expansion purposes. And of course just as disagreement with Dear Leader amounts to treason, taking letters away from our comrades in the LGBTQ movement also amounts to treason, and, well, hatin' on them. We can't do that.

You're right, Comrade Vlad. I completely missed that when I suggested expunging the "g" from the alphabet. I hereby renounce myself, and will be reporting to the nearest gulag (with two g's) in the morning.

Comrades, in thinking about this, and in taking Dear Leader's demands about fundamental change of the English language seriously (because it's treason if we don't), I hereby denounce myself for my subject line being incorrect. I have fixed it.

Comrade John Lenin, I hadn't even thought of that. Yes, absolutely, we need G for the word "gulag". Of course, I wonder if Dear Leader might want to change that? It doesn't have an ING at the end, but I wonder if gula' would be korrekt in Dear Leader speak?

Comrade Krasnodar, I know what you mean. These days, it is very easy to think of a big ZERO every time I think of the letter O. I don't know why. If this has anything to do with Dear Leader, maybe I should check in to a gulag with Comrade John Lenin?

Comrades, comrades, comrades! What is this talk about eliminating alphabetic letters? Have we forgotten that all these letters are necessary for the naming of existing and ever-expanding government agencies for the Good Of The People™? Nay, better that we add letters, so that more will be available to help and guide the masses -- especially The Children.™

Comrades,

I believe a new category of "hate speech" (with associated lawsuits) is now available.

Krasnodar wrote:

Thought Sheriff wrote:Get Rid of them all! abcdefghijklmnpqrstuvwxyz Except for one more equal than others...
O.

Sheriff, Is that the letter "O" or a zero? . I get those two mixed up all the time.

I wrote it down to represent the jobs created by our dear, glorious leader. It also doubles as a golf ball.

So whattabout the letters, "Y" "M" "C" and "A"? Huh? You all saw it coming, so here it is! And, it's only fair to represent the 2-3% of our population. You don't have to watch it but you know it's there. That's what counts.