The People's Cube - Political Satire

Yes, indeed, comrades! The Party™ has instigated a brilliant program, in conjunction with importing voters, to automate the votes of those who refuse to see the benefits of an authoritarian government consisting of the smartest people in the universe. Soon, we will be able to abandon the GOTV programs as no one will need to go to the polls. The Party™ will decide matters for everyone! O glorious day!

I am distressed by this. My union thugsbrothers and I have a long history of polling station intimidation. These machines will make us obsolete. Will I have to retire my trusty axe handle? How can I find the traitorous rats in my local if I cannot see the expression on their faces when I order them to do un-payed overtime at polling places. Dear Leader, PBUH, must not realize this will make Democrats lazy and they may assume these machines will do the hard work of rigging elections. They might even be tempted to forgo voting. Oh, Dear Leader, what have you wrought?

Rikalonius wrote:I am distressed by this. My union thugsbrothers and I have a long history of polling station intimidation. These machines will make us obsolete. Will I have to retire my trusty axe handle? How can I find the traitorous rats in my local if I cannot see the expression on their faces when I order them to do un-payed overtime at polling places. Dear Leader, PBUH, must not realize this will make Democrats lazy and they may assume these machines will do the hard work of rigging elections. They might even be tempted to forgo voting. Oh, Dear Leader, what have you wrought?

Fear not, comrade. The Party™ can always find a use for members. Unutilized professionals can always be transferred to a different department. Nobody will be without a title and benefits. The Dept. of Re-education can always be expanded. So too FEMA, DOJ, FBI, NSA, DOD, DOG, FDA, DOA, CIA, ABC, NBC, CNN, MNSBC, CBS, ACT, NAAPC, AARP, DHS, DHHS, NASA and many others. The DOJ will have many openings for thought police, very soon. The operatives that concern you are already highly trained for such a position.