The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, one of our foremost disseminators of the Current Truth™ has come under fire by hateful, homophobic, misogynists (Republicans, as if I needed to point that out) for the innocent mistake of misremembering some trivial details about being shot down in a helicopter.

What's the big deal? Just the other day, Mrs. Blogunov asked me how my day went attending to the tractor farm, show trials, executions, etc. I told her that I was driving back to our humble beachfront dacha from Jerusalem and came under fire from Vespasian's XII Catapult Legion. It turns out that actually never really happened! To this day, I don't know what possessed me to misremember something like that, but I feel terrible.

See, comrades? Everybody does it. What have you misremembered recently? Post your comments here so we can show the world there is no good reason not to trust our reliable news outlets.

“I would not have chosen to make this mistake,” Williams told Stars & Stripes. “I don't know what screwed up in my mind that caused me to conflate one aircraft with another.”

We have seen other loyal heroes of the motherland who's minds "caused them to conflate." Take our current glorious leader, Komrade Premier Obamanovich. Every time he speaks, his mind causes him to conflate. Then there's former Komrade Premier Slik Willienov Clintonivsk conflating about having sex with Monica Lewinsky. Then there was his wife, Hillarinovich Clintonivsk conflating about the embassy attacks in Libya. Komrades, I ask you, "what difference does it make" as long as the agenda gets advanced? The ends justify the means.

Brian Williams was the only one who had starters at The Last Supper.

[img]/images/Brian_Williams_NBC_MontyPython.jpg[/img]

I saw him cross the Delaware River.

Hammer and Loupe, I denounce you for that photograph which is clearly photoshopped! Any lackwit can see that. I certainly have. It just so happens I was there, yet why am I not in the picture?

I distinctly remember being there, even though it was a mistake and I never would've chosen to make such a mistake, because on the day in question I went to Jiffi-Lobo only to find that they'd moved and now the space was occupied by Recall, Inc. They offered to give me the memory of a wild weekend with Brad Pitt for free, but when I walked out of there, all I remembered was throwing up in a boat full of Tea Party types as they crossed the Delaware on Christmas Eve or maybe it was Kwanzaa but I don't see how since teabaggers are racist. But when I demanded my money back from Recall, Inc. they'd likewise moved, and in their place was one of those newfangled, funny-smelling pot shops. They also gave me some free samples but I still don't remember any wild weekend with Brad Pitt.

But the wild weekend with Brad Pitt is what I'd really, really like to remember, if only the fog in my brain would clear long enough for me to stop conflating George Washington with the Terminator. Or for that matter, Brian Williams with Rambo.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:...But the wild weekend with Brad Pitt is what I'd really, really like to remember, if only the fog in my brain would clear long enough for me to stop conflating George Washington with the Terminator. Or for that matter, Brian Williams with Rambo.

But, Komrade Commissarka, conflating is perfectly normal in the "fundamentally transformed" Amerika. If you learn to be more proficient at conflating, perhaps you will be appointed to a high position within the Propaganda Ministry as a state-run media "news" anchor. Perhaps eventually becoming a speech writer for our most glorious leader and other high party officials.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:Hammer and Loupe, I denounce you for that photograph which is clearly photoshopped! Any lackwit can see that. I certainly have. It just so happens I was there, yet why am I not in the picture?

Oh my! Someone edited my art with photoshop. Let us find an earlier version..... I think capitalists are changing my picture. I need the Collective's help to put things right.

Sorry Boss for the misinterpretation. I did recover a picture, but I do not know if it is the original.

Perhaps "conflate" should be added to The Peoples Glossary™ so that when our minds screw up, our thinking about this term will be korrect.

It could also be this comrade is living in several dimensions of time and space at the same time.
Maybe this event did occur in his dreams or a separate reality.
No one knows for sure.

Gummipuppe wrote:Perhaps "conflate" should be added to The Peoples Glossary™ so that when our minds screw up, our thinking about this term will be korrect.

conflate /kənˈflāt/
verb

1. To con the public by putting forth inflated claims.
"We will run the most transparent Administration in history."

synonyms: BS, Obamanate

" If you like your helicopter crash, you can keep your helicopter crash... "

Well done, Hammer and Loupe! I knew if I looked at that picture often enough, I would soon come to believe that I was actually there--just like Brian Williams said happened to him after viewing all those images of the besieged helicopters.

And eerily similar to the Charlie Hebdo terrorist victim of Islamophobia, who said seeing all those images of naked Abu Graib prisoners with underwear on their heads forced him to do something he might never have done otherwise. Why, we Progressives saw those pictures on the news so many times, that not only do we feel as if we have underwear on our head, but as if we have our heads stuck up our own butts.

Which, in turn, is entirely the fault of George W. Bush.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote: "[suggested an additional caption:] If you like your helicopter crash, you can keep your helicopter crash... "

The brilliant Ivan the Stakhanovets suggested that the brilliant "Life of Brian" poster was missing one important element to explain why it's so unfair to criticize Brian Williams for his merely suffering an overactive imagination while in the company of people who routinely deal with reality. Dear Leader has taught us by his own example that if one wants to keep preconceived notions, one should be able to keep such preconceived notions (except if it were to be one's notion of being on a "high horse"), so if Brian Williams wants to keep his fantasy of having been in a helicopter crash, he should be able to keep his fantasy of being in a helicopter crash. So, the self-serving KOOK has stolen Ivan the Stakhanovets' suggestion and added it to the "Life of Brian" poster.

--KOOK

P.S. Comrade Kook, while you've made my mother as proud as if I'd earned the now sequestered "beet of the week" I must decline and denounce your use of the word brilliant as it denies me the equality of my comrades, and marginalized my me away from my friends. I'm once again a victim.

I now see that komrade Williams conflated about a dead body he saw floating past him during his reporting on hurrikane Katrina:++

"....Williams' account of seeing a body float by in the French Quarter — which remained largely dry — and even a claim of catching dysentery from drinking Katrina floodwaters have raised eyebrows among bloggers and elsewhere since he took it on the chin this week over a claim that he rode in a helicopter that was downed by a rocket-propelled grenade in Iraq...."
https://www.theneworleansadvocate.com/news/11526453-148/nbc-news-anchor-brian-williams

My own Photoshop skills are not up to Cube standards. But I had a thought that might interest some of you folks here: Take some of the old pics of the 911 "Tourist Guy" (Google him if you don't remember) and add Komrade Williams to the mix.

TheLastCapitalist wrote:Take some of the old pics of the 911 "Tourist Guy" (Google him if you don't remember) and add Komrade Williams to the mix.

Ushanka tip to Comrade TheLastCapitalist -

[img]/images/Brian_Williams_9-11_Tourist_Guy.jpg[/img]

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Brian definitely went to boot camp...
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I have heard that komrade Williams' "mind is really screwed up" due to all the attacks by enemies of the motherland. He has just conflated that there are men mining for gold in his intestines and that he has just arranged for an eksklusive interview with the Easter Bunny. Stay tuned.

Brian Williams banged Miss Universe

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A rare find at:

Google Maps Ancient Street Views Archives

(Please note: One of Captain Craptek's Vietnamese ancestors can be seen waiting on the side of the road for the mapping vehicle to pass.)
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I'll bet Comrade Putout know what I'd find when she wrote:.
A rare find at:

Chairman Meow wrote:Photographic proof that Brian Williams' chopper was brought down by both RPG fire and running out of quarters. [attachment=0]rpg.jpg[/attachment]

Chairman,

He ran out of quarters...

NBC News announces Brian Williams replacement.

Captain Craptek wrote:

Chairman Meow wrote:Photographic proof that Brian Williams' chopper was brought down by both RPG fire and running out of quarters. [attachment=0]rpg.jpg[/attachment]

Chairman,

He ran out of quarters...

Komrades Craptek and Meow, it is evident that komrade Williams' "screwed up mind" is several cents short of a dollar. Nevertheless, he is still useful in advancing the party's agenda. I am confident that he will continue to work in state-run media to broadcast Komrade Glorious Leader's conflated narratives and defend them from attack by the terrorist enemies of the motherland, including Tea Baggers, the NRA, conservative Republicans, and Christians.

I see he was present at the Kennedy assassination. But did any of you know Brian Williams was also in the balcony at Ford's Theater with Abe and Mary?

Just another one of those freaky Lincoln-Kennedy coincidences.

That Was Then, This Is Now Department

Then: Sarah Palin resigns as governor; claims frivolous lawsuits a distraction from governing Alaska.

Now: Brian Williams resigns as NBC anchorman; claims scrutiny of his past statements are a distraction for the network.

Only one was labeled a "quitter."

Since he is taking some "time off" will his next story be about the abject poverty of the unemployed like him? Tune in tomorrow evening for the most trusted man in media, not working, but reporting live from the line for EBT cards, Obamaphones, foo'stamps, disability...

It's how we got Dear Leader (PBUH) to begin with! Never forget...

We used to have a Flat Fatima series, to help improve war footage and produce Pulitzer-winning dramatic pictures in the comfort of your Third-World hotel room.

It is now time for Flat Brian to help improve the reputation and create an instant aura of around any TV celebrity desiring to spend a reasonable amount of money on his or her own carboard cutout.

Red Square wrote:We used to have a Flat Fatima series, to help improve war footage and produce Pulitzer-winning dramatic pictures in the comfort of your Third-World hotel room.

I saw this one ...


Perhaps Fatima and Comrade Williams have met before?

How does he get everywhere? The answer could be very close.

Having been informed of a potential loss of a principal media "sock puppet" the Administration takes extreme and drastic preventive measures...




https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q ... CCbjtWjsNg

Brian Williams declares Media Wars!!!!

[color=#C0392B]Hammer and Loupe[/color] asked a very important question when he wrote:How does he...

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Brian just can't catch a break nowadays!
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I believe that Brian has been groomed for a greater calling as a speech writer for the President (PBUH), or based on his creative writing , as an analyst in the Office of Management and Budget.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:I believe that Brian has been groomed for a greater calling as a speech writer for the President (PBUH), or based on his creative writing , as an analyst in the Office of Management and Budget.

Da. Grooming and talent. Perhaps he will also go on to be the ghost writer of Komrade Glorious Leader's book If You Like Your Kountry You Can Keep It, How I Fundamentally Transformed Amerika. Komrade Williams may get a shot at writing Glorious Leader's Broadway musical produktion of Annie, Give Me Your Gun, and the screenplay for his Hollywood epik produktion of Obama: God's Gift To The World.

Nice car Commissarka Pinkie.

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Our own Lev Termen met Brian when he first hired on at NBC as an instrument technician intern...
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May I offer up a couple of 'Flat Brians' for everyone's amusement?

They are in the PNG file format... naturally!
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I saw Comrade Williams get robbed.

In space, no one can hear you click...

[img]/images/images_working/reuters/Flat_Brian_Williams_500_Moon_Landing.jpg[/img]

Comrade O'Donnell said Comrade Williams is Comrade Armstrong. I tend to agree with her.

[with apologiesthanks to Hammer and Loupe]

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:

Brian W.jpg

[with apologiesthanks to Hammer and Loupe]

No problem comrade. You are equally welcome Comrade Ivan. You have changed it back to the way it was, but you are missing someone. {Commissarka Pinkie}

This is Brian Williams reporting from the Hindenburg disaster...

Brian Williams remembers the Big Bang!

Earning his way to world class reporter, during the Cold War, Mr Williams covered the transfer of the Red October...

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[/img]

Seriously Mr. President, just tell them "you didn't build that..." What could possibly go wrong?

Brian Williams was with President Obama in enduring the stress of Strategic Patience.



--KOOK

jacamo wrote:

Haha!

He remembers the Battle of San Juan Hill.

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During the Iraq war, Brian Williams was embedded with me in the desert ... or at least there was a lot of sand ... and I can attest that he was in the shit.

You never know what picture will be more equal than others. When I made this 9/11 Tourist Guy spoof based on TheLastCapitalist's comment, I didn't expect it would become viral on Facebook and generate so much traffic. We've also had hits before we had a Facebook account, but now we can measure them with numbers, and this one probably beats the record with over 2,400 shares in just three days. See the post here. Below is a screenshot.

Red Square wrote:You never know what picture will be more equal than others. When I made this 9/11 Tourist Guy spoof based on TheLastCapitalist's comment, I didn't expect it would become viral on Facebook and generate so much traffic. We've also had hits before we had a Facebook account, but now we can measure them with numbers, and this one probably beats the record with over 2,400 shares in just three days. See the post here. Below is a screenshot.

Brian_Williams_FB_SCRN.jpg

Be careful Comrade, it may get so many views that it will develop AI and think for itself.

Brian Williams invented the self-writing news story, was that the precursor to artificial intelligence?

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Brian jumped the shark!
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I heard Comrade Williams was so successful that he is replacing Comrade Stewart at Comedy Central.

""...Lady, stop crying. It's the internet. They are going to hurt your feelings unless you show some ATTITUDE! And try to accessorize; say, someone left a shovel back there, take that and give it a swing!..."

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Congratulations Ivan!
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Comrade Putout wrote:.
Congratulations Ivan!
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I heartily agree with Comrade Putout, Ivan. You will make a fine addition to our gummint's Executive Branch as Amerikkka's number one #2 man.

I like the new office, but the paperwork is messy...Fast & Furious in this chair seems to have a different meaning.